Tag: fear of death

EOLPodcast

Ep. 422 Practices to Prepare for the End of Life with Patt Lind-Kyle

kwyattmd

Learn how meditation practice can help decrease the fear of death and prepare you for a peaceful end of life.


My guest Patt LInd-Kyle is an authority on mindulness meditation, chakras, and the Enneagram who will share practices for addressing the fear of death. She is the author of 4 science and spirituality books including her latest Embracing the End of Life, A Journey into Dying and Awakening and Heal Your Mind, Rewire Your Brain. Patt is also a thought leader on how the mind and brain work together to arrive at a sense of who we are. She has studied the dying process in preparation for her own death and has become a leading authority on death and dying consciously. Patt has produced a series of guided meditations to accompany her Embracing the End of Life and Heal Your Mind, Rewire Your Brain books. Learn more at her website:

www.Pattlindkyle.com

Get the book

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why it is important to face the fear of death
  • The benefits of meditation for confronting the end of life
  • How to start a meditation practice
  • How to let go of the need to control death 
  • How facing death helps us live life more fully

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and to those who’ve bought me a coffee! Also many thanks to all of you who joined the $10 for 10 Years Campaign! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 389 Virtual Reality as a Tool for End-of-Life Anxiety and Pain with Gregory Roufa and Lama Karma

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Learn how virtual reality technology can be utilized in a powerful way to ease distress and find meaning for people facing life-limiting illness.

My two guests, Gregory Roufa and Lama Karma, both work for Anuma, a company specializing in developing sacred experiences in virtual reality. Gregory is the co-founder and CEO at Anuma and Karma is an experience designer. They discuss the work Anuma is doing to create VR experiences that can benefit patients facing serious illness, particularly at the end of life, without the use of drugs. Learn more at the website:

www.anuma.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What is Virtual Reality
  • What equipment is used for a VR experience
  • The inspiration behind Anuma
  • What is a “self-transcendent” experience
  • How to use VR in a beneficial rather than a harmful way
  • What to expect from the Clear Light Program
  • Why a transcendent experience can be helpful for anxiety at the end of life
  • Results seen so far from Anuma’s studies
  • How to work with Anuma as a facilitator on pilot projects or as a capital partner
  • How Virtual Reality has similar effects to a medium dose of psychedelic medication (and is legal and available now)

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Jean Oswald and also to Madeleine for buying me a coffee! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 385 End Well: Shifting the Culture Around End of Life with Tracy Wheeler

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Learn how End Well brings together fresh and diverse perspectives on the end of life from art, design and other non-medical fields.

My guest Tracy Wheeler is the executive director of End Well, an organization dedicated to transforming how the world views end of life. Tracy has a background in art, education, culture and politics, which inform her commitment to shining a light on how we might make end of life a part of life. She discusses the mission and work of End Well since its founding and what lies ahead in the future, including the new End Well Podcast. Learn more at the website:

www.endwellproject.org

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why the end-of-life movement needs to expand beyond the perspective of the healthcare industry
  • Why End Well is working with Hollywood to get more stories written about the end of life
  • How the Netflix series From Scratch portrayed very accurately a true story of serious illness and end of life
  • What the first season of the End Well Podcast consists of
  • About Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, the founder of End Well, and what inspired her to create this organization
  • Why end-of-life care issues cannot be fixed within the medical system that helped create those very issues
  • The End Well Conference planned for 2024 and how to sign up for the mailing list
  • Why psychedelic assisted therapy will be part of the wave of the future
  • The fear of death that exists within the medical profession
  • The impact of COVID on how healthcare approaches death and dying

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Michele Duncan King, Arianna Workman, and Katrina Marcuse-Sharratt! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 384 People Don’t Die Like They Do in the Movies with Barbara Karnes RN

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Learn how to counteract the misinformation about death in modern media and teach people the truth about the natural dying process.

In this episode I welcome back my recurring guest Barbara Karnes who is a hospice nurse, international speaker, and author of the books Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience and By Your Side: A Guide for Caring for the Dying at Home. We discuss her slogan “People don’t die like they do in the movies” and how popular media, including television, film and books, provide misleading and inaccurate portrayals of the dying process. Learn how to get a T-shirt with the slogan on her website:

www.bkbooks.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How movies and television programs misinform people about death and dying
  • The consequences of inaccurate portrayals of the end of life in popular media
  • What the natural dying process actually looks like
  • The “work” of dying and how to support a person in the process
  • Why we can’t expect a dying loved one to do or say something to support us
  • How a person’s breathing changes before death
  • Preparation for the dying process helps loved one be more present at the bedside
  • How CPR is depicted in medical TV shows as a miracle procedure that works most of the time
  • The actual facts about CPR
  • Confusion in advance care planning due to misinformation
  • Choosing the right healthcare proxy

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Sharon Patterson! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 370 Date with Death Club: Exploring Mortality in Community with Rev. Karen Johnston

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Learn about a free curriculum you can bring to your community to foster conversations about death.

My guest Rev. Karen Johnston is an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister and the founder of Date with Death Club. Her own spiritual practice centers on “befriending death” and she shares how this led her to create the curriculum for Date with Death Club. We discuss how to work on befriending death and why education about death is essential. Karen tells us how to join the Date with Death Club and register to use her curriculum for free. Learn more at her website:

www.datewithdeathclub.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Karen’s spiritual practice of befriending death
  • The benefits of making friends with death and losing fear
  • We must go through the fear of death rather than around it
  • How Karen became inspired to create the Date with Death Club
  • The subjects included in this secular curriculum and how they can be used in a variety of ways
  • What are “third things” and why they help us explore our heartspace about difficult issues
  • The importance of addressing our “eco-grief” right now
  • Why Karen is offering it for others to use at no charge
  • How to get involved and utilize the curriculum in your own community

Links mentioned in this episode:

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If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Bob McInnis, and to Dawn Greene for making a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 329 Shared Death Experiences: How They Transform Dying and Living with William Peters

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Learn about shared death experiences and how they can lessen the fear of death and help with grief.

My guest William Peters is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project and is recognized by many as the world’s leading authority on the shared death experience (SDE). He discusses SDEs and what he has learned through his research, including how these experiences benefit those who have them. He is the author of the book At Heaven’s Door: What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach About Dying Well and Living Better, which will be published by Simon & Schuster in early 2022 and we talk about it in this conversation. Learn more about William’s work at his website:

www.sharedcrossing.com

Order the book here

OR Find an independent bookseller near you

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What is a shared death experience
  • What happens during a shared death experience
  • Who is likely to have an SDE
  • What is the Spectrum of End-of-Life Experiences
  • How do SDEs benefit those who have them
  • Are SDEs becoming more accepted in our society
  • The ongoing research being conducted by the Shared Crossing Project
  • Advice for those who may have experienced an SDE without understanding it
  • How to increase the likelihood of having a shared death experience
  • How to submit your story to the Shared Crossing Project if you feel you have had an SDE

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Book: The Art of Dying by Peter and Elizabeth Fenwick
  • Research Article: American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron Jennifer Blalock! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 314 Why Death Awareness is the Key to Your Best Life with Kate Manser

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Learn why focusing on your mortality opens the door to finding deeper meaning in life.

My guest Kate Manser is the inspiring visionary creator of YOU MIGHT DIE TOMORROW, a movement to help people really live before they die. She is the author of the book You Might Die Tomorrow and The ALIVE Workbook, which she talks about today. She shares what she has learned through her own awakening about living fully by remembering our mortality. Kate’s work has been featured in O Magazine, she has spoken at Facebook HQ, and her book has sold thousands of copies. Most of all, she writes, she is just so happy to be alive. Learn more at her website:

www.youmightdietomorrow.com

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Kate was inspired to start You Might Die Tomorrow as a movement
  • Why the most important aspect of preparing for death is learning how to live more fully in each and every moment
  • Why accepting suffering in life is the first step to living more deeply
  • Using the “Deathbed Gut Check” as a tool for decision-making
  • Paying attention to the small meaningful moments of life
  • How practice and intention can rewire your brain
  • How to deal with the fear of death
  • The benefits of walking meditation

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 311 The Conundrum of “Hope” at the End-of-Life

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Learn why hope is a powerful tool that can be harmful or helpful at the end of life.

In this solo episode I share some thoughts, concerns, studies, quotes and clips on hope and why it isn’t always a good thing at the end of life. From doctors who refuse to refer patients to hospice and palliative care because they don’t want to take away their hope, to patients who cling to false hopes and resist planning for the end of life, I’ve long been concerned that we are using hope in a toxic way in our medical system. It’s time to look at a better way to help patients find meaning and positive experiences at the end of life than just handing them empty hope.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How hope can be harmful for some people as they approach the end of life
  • Study showing the unrealistic expectations of terminal patients for how long they thought they had to live
  • The consequences of unrealistic hope for individual patients and the medical system
  • How some medical providers use hope as a tool without recognizing the harm it can cause to patients
  • How unrealistic hope can prevent patients from focusing on the present moment
  • Study showing that hope has a spectrum from “miracle cure” to “peaceful death”
  • Most patients want gentle honesty from their doctors but doctors often don’t recognize that
  • How to “dance with death” (per Stephen Jenkinson) rather than fighting against death
  • Why hope can be a superficial disguise for the fear of death
  • How to help people move beyond unrealistic hope to greater acceptance of death

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my supporter John Kuntz for increasing your monthly pledge! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 303 Anam Cara: Soul Companion for the Dying with Judy Hilyard

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Learn how a “soul companion” for the dying helps ease the fear of death.

My guest Judy Hilyard worked as an ICU nurse during her 47-year career and now serves as an Anam Cara, or “soul friend” to the dying. In addition she also fulfills the role of an Anam Aira by accompanying people through the process of death to “the other side of the Veil.” She shares her experiences and how this work helps free people from the fear of death and resolve their spiritual pain. Judy is the author of Soul Companion: A Memoir which chronicles her training and work on both sides of the veil. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.anamcaracompanion.com

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Judy became an Anam Cara/Aira
  • What is the difference between an Anam Cara and an Anam Aira
  • The 4 Spiritual Pains of the dying according to Richard Groves
  • How Judy developed her skill in accompanying the dying
  • How a soul companion can help ease the fear of death
  • How Judy’s experiences showed her there is no hell
  • How this work has changed the way Judy lives her life
  • What to do if you feel inspired to become an Anam Cara

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 295 Psilocybin Therapy at End of Life: The Legal Case with Kathryn Tucker, JD

kwyattmd

Learn about the legal effort to make psilocybin available as a transformative therapy at the end of life.

My guest Kathryn Tucker is a Special Counsel at Emerge Law Group where she co-chairs the Psychedelic Practice Group. She is also the Executive Director of the End-of-Life Liberty Project and served two decades as Director of Advocacy and Legal Affairs for Compassion & Choices, working to improve care and expand choice at the end of life. She shares the current legal case she is spearheading to allow terminally ill patients to try psilocybin as a palliative care medication and how psilocybin has already been shown to be hugely beneficial to patients at the end of life. Learn more about her work at:

www.emergelawgroup.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The benefits of psilocybin therapy for palliative care
  • Why terminally ill patients cannot currently access psilocybin therapy
  • What are Right to Try (RTT) laws and how they may apply to psilocybin
  • History behind psilocybin being labeled a Schedule I drug by the DEA
  • Test case that has been filed in court based on Washington state and Federal RTT laws
  • How “friends of the court” can be helpful to this case
  • Why the success of this case could open access for patients in other states
  • Oregon’s Psilocybin Therapy Law and implications for other states

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 273 The Benefits of Psychedelics for End-of-Life Patients with Ira Byock MD

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Learn about new research using psychedelic medications to help patients at the end of life with depression and anxiety.

My guest Dr. Ira Byock is a leading palliative care physician, author and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. In this discussion he shares important information about psychedelic medications and the benefits they offer to patients at the end of life. There is current research available that shows the value of these medications especially for patients with depression, anxiety and loss of meaning who experience a profound reframing of life. Learn more about Dr. Byock’s work at his website:

www.irabyock.org

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Dr. Byock got interested in studying psychedelic medications for palliative and hospice patients
  • What new research is revealing about the benefits of psychedelics for various medical conditions
  • How psychedelics have been shown to be helpful with depression, anxiety and demoralization syndrome
  • The dangers of recreational use of psychedelics vs. controlled therapeutic use
  • What a “psychedelic assisted therapeutic experience” consists of
  • How a psychedelic experience can rewrite the brain’s “default mode network”
  • The need for further research on these medications

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Subscribe to this podcast on Apple, Google, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Stitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 264 Grief 2 Growth: Loss, Consciousness, and Overcoming Racism with Brian Smith

kwyattmd

Learn how grief and loss can be the fuel for spiritual growth.

My guest Brian Smith is a certified life coach and grief guide who suffered his own grief experience after the tragic death of his daughter. Through his personal journey of navigating grief he discovered techniques for surviving loss that led to writing the book: Grief 2 Growth: Planted, Not Buried and creating the Grief 2 Growth Podcast. He shares the wisdom he has learned and how dealing with grief can help us grow spiritually as individuals and as a community. Learn more at his website:

www.grief2growth.com

Get Brian’s book here

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Brian overcame his severe fear of death
  • The process of grief and how it varies for everyone
  • Guilt after the death of loved one
  • How Brian works with people who are grieving
  • Why some people fear that making progress through grief will dishonor their loved one
  • How toxic religious beliefs can harm our experience of grief
  • Brian’s perception of the afterlife based on reason and evidence
  • What “planted, not buried” means
  • How grief work is an essential component for overcoming racism in society

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Subscribe to this podcast on Apple, Google, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Stitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 222 The Benefits of Medical Hypnosis at the End of Life with Roger Moore

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Learn how hypnosis can help dying patients, their loved ones, and their medical providers find greater ease and less stress as they cope with the end of life.

podcastMoore

My guest Roger Moore is a medical hypnotherapist who frequently works with patients at the end of life and their caregivers. He’ll discuss how he utilizes hypnosis to help ease symptoms for his patients and share tools that all of us can use to deal with stress. Learn more about Roger’s work at his website:

www.hypnosishealthinfo.com

Download “Orange Blossom” mp3 here

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • What is “medical hypnosis”
  • What happens in a typical session of hypnosis
  • The “wiggle” technique for returning to the present moment
  • How hypnosis benefits both patient and caregiver
  • How hypnosis helps with the fear of death and dying
  • The “flow through” technique to prevent taking on the suffering of the patient
  • How self-hypnosis tools can help healthcare providers deal with stress, grief and guilt
  • Hypnosis as a tool for learning mindfulness
  • When is the best time to recommend hypnosis as an end-of-life tool
  • Hypnosis can help patients reduce their need for pain medication
  • “Orange Blossom” recording for stress relief

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Gail Clemson, and Kathy Bates; your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 192 You Might Die Tomorrow: A Global Movement for Living Fully with Kate Manser

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Learn how this grassroots movement is helping to promote mortality awareness around the world.

PodcastManser

My guest Kate Manser is a writer and motivational speaker who created the You Might Die Tomorrow movement in response to her own grief experiences. She will discuss how she overcame her own fear of death and how she has spread You Might Die Tomorrow globally.

Learn more at her website.

zrCyG7%9RVGdHqcd6zWe4g

Get stickers here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How You Might Die Tomorrow got its start
  • The psychology of mortality awareness
  • How having a provocative message is helpful to promote death awareness
  • The benefits of Deathbed Meditation
  • How to mitigate the fear of death
  • How to create urgency around end-of-planning planning
  • How acknowledging mortality helps us find happiness
  • How to get You Might Die Tomorrow stickers to display

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patrons, Judith Kubran, Laura Stanger, and Cole Imperi.

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 182 When You Die … You Will Not Be Scared to Die with Lindsay Tunkl

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Learn how art and the written word can be a powerful tool for confronting our mortality.

PodcastTunkl

My guest Lindsay Tunkl is a conceptual artist and writer who explores subjects such as death, heartbreak, and the apocalypse. Her work has been shown at galleries in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Germany. Today she will talk about her book “When You Die You Will Not Be Scared To Die” and her workshop Parting Practice: Rituals for Endings and Failure. 

Learn more at Lindsay’s website:

http://lindsaytunkl.com

Tunklcover

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How Lindsay’s fear of death inspired her to approach it through her art
  • Why the fear of death should not be shamed
  • How both death and emotionality are banished in our society
  • Description of Lindsay’s book of meditations
  • How the book can be used for a contemplative/journaling practice
  • The importance of both the mundane and the profound in life
  • How to reframe death by writing lists similar to the book
  • The ability to plan ahead for death is actually a luxury that is not afforded to everyone
  • How to use the book as a tool for exploring mortality in conversation

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron Diane A. Kelly!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 158 How to Create an End-of-Life Vision Board

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Learn how making a Vision Board that focuses on the end of life can help ease fear and negative thoughts about death and dying.

PodcastVBoard

 

 

visionboard2In this episode I share a tutorial on how to make a vision board for your own end of life. This is a fun project that can be done in a group.

Download the handout for this episode:

How to Create an EOL Vision Board

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

WRM@flatcover

This episode is sponsored by my book What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying. This book focuses on the spiritual lessons I learned from my dying patients and how they changed my life!

Get the book here.

Get the audiobook for free by signing up for Audible!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Get the handout: How to Create an EOL Vision Board

This tutorial includes:

  • What vision boards are and how they are helpful
  • How visualization works to prepare us for a future activity
  • The negativity bias of the brain
  • Why positive images of the end of life are needed to overcome negativity
  • How beautiful pictures create calmness and relaxation by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system
  • Why creating an end-of-life vision board can help ease fear of death
  • Step-by-step instructions for making a vision board
  • How to write goals for your board
  • Following up your vision board with specific action steps

View my Pinterest EOL Vision Board!

Tune in next Monday for another new episode! If you enjoy this content please share with others who might find it helpful and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next week:

Face Your Fear           BE Ready           Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 156 How to Talk to Strangers About Death & Dying

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Learn some tips for starting important conversations about death with people you are meeting for the first time!

PodcastStrangers

 

IMG_4043In this episode I’ll share with you some stories about my recent yoga retreat and the many amazing conversations I was able to have with strangers about death and dying. I’ve got a few tips for you about starting up your own conversations about death with random strangers. (Here’s a photo from a sunrise hike I took during the retreat!)

 

Links to articles mentioned in this episode:

Tips for Talking With Your Loved Ones About the End of Life

How to Have Everyday Conversations About Death and Dying

How to Talk to Your Healthcare Provider About Your End-of-Life Wishes 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously online reading group and read one book each month about death, dying and the afterlife. Click here to learn more.

HealingChantsAlbumThis episode is sponsored by the album Healing Chants by Gia! You’ll love Gia’s angelic voice and ethereal music for meditation and relaxation. (Full disclosure: Gia is my daughter!)

You can listen to samples and purchase the album here.

Stay tuned to the end of the podcast as I’ll play her song Evocation as the Outro today!

A HUGE THANK YOU to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Karen Van Hoof! I appreciate your support very much. Thanks also to all of the other patrons – sign up and join the team for as little as $1 per month at Patreon.com/eolu!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Today I’ll tell you about my recent 5-day retreat at a yoga center where I went to relax, do yoga and finish revising one of my books. While I was there I had the pleasure of talking with many other visitors to the retreat center about death and dying, which was fascinating. Normally I don’t find many people out in the general public who want to talk about death. And while the people I conversed with weren’t necessarily interested in death before our discussion they each seemed to come away with a new understanding or sense of peace.

In order to confront our society’s fear of death we need many more conversations like this to happen every day with people who are not already tuned in to death awareness.

Each of us needs to step up and reach out to others to start a dialogue about death that might prove very helpful to our conversation partner and very informative for us.

Here are my tips for talking with strangers about death and dying:

  1. Choose the right time and place: my conversations generally took place at the table while I was sharing a meal with various strangers. Breaking bread together creates an automatic sense of connection and safety since we usually associate mealtimes with positive feelings. There is also often some free time between courses where conversation can happen naturally. It may also work well to talk about death during other shared activities like hiking, gardening or cooking. Watch for the right opportunity to arise.
  2. Find common ground first: make sure you have established a basic connection by talking about the meal (or the garden, or the hike, etc.) Since my conversation partners were also there for yoga classes we had an automatic common subject to begin chatting about while we established a connection.
  3. Perfect your “elevator speech” which is a very brief story you tell whenever someone asks “What do you do?” The idea is that your answer is so brief you can complete it during a short elevator ride from one floor to the next. So think of one or two sentences you can use to answer that question and give another person an idea of your work. My answer at the yoga retreat was: “I’m a retired hospice physician who now writes books.” Tell them enough to garner their interest and curiosity and lead naturally to more questions. I purposely avoided mentioning death and dying in my initial introduction so that I wouldn’t frighten anyone away before we even got started. But most individuals I encountered were intrigued and asked more either about the hospice work or about the books I’m writing. Both of those questions led directly to a talk about death and dying. On several occasions the other person immediately brought up a story of a loved one or friend on hospice. Many times it was a story that desperately needed to be told and also came with questions about death, dying and hospice. I was amazed by the quality of conversation that occurred in these instances and the need for accurate information. I’m convinced that many people out there really do need to talk about death and dying but rarely encounter anyone they can speak to, which is where you come in!
  4. Hone your listening skills: for these conversations focus on listening rather than telling your own story. Watch for cues from the other person that there is a need to say something and encourage them to talk by asking a question or two and stopping to listen attentively. We are all passionate about our work and other endeavors and there will be opportunities to share that at some point in the future. Initially it’s more important to just listen and hold space so that the other person can ask questions and get the support they need. Rely on your intuition to tell you when that person is ready for a little nudge or encouragement to go deeper into their feelings.
  5. Share just enough information: again it is important to be a good listener so when you do describe your work don’t go overboard. Use simple and accurate terms to convey what you do but pause and allow the other person to ask for the information they need.

As you’ll hear when you listen to this episode I was able to have meaningful conversations with different people every day while I was at the retreat. These are some of the most important discussions we can be having right now so take a chance and strike up a conversation with a stranger about death and dying!

There will be a new episode every Monday so be sure to tune in again! And if you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next time …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready              Love Your Life 

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 150 Die Wise: A Call for Wisdom in the Approach to Death with Stephen Jenkinson

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Learn about Stephen’s teachings on death phobia in our society and how palliative care and the medical system fail to address this problem.

PodcastJenkinson

DieWiseIn this episode I share an excerpt from an interview with Stephen Jenkinson, author of the book Die Wise, founder of Orphan Wisdom and subject of the documentary Griefwalker. Stephen discusses some of the problems with our approach to death in modern society, including the medical system.

Learn more about Stephen’s work here.

Get Die Wise here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Thank you to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Bernadette Koch. I appreciate your willingness to contribute to this podcast and the End-of-Life University Series to keep them on the air. If you’d like to join the team, support this work, and get awesome bonuses at the same time, go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more and sign up!

 

obrienwebinar

On July 24th I’m hosting Suzanne O’Brien RN for a free webinar where she’ll be teaching “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers.” If you’d like to know more about the work of end-of-life doulas and learn important skills for caring for the dying, this webinar will be valuable for you.

Learn more at: eoluniversity.com/obrien.

Click here to sign up for the webinar (it’s free and you’ll receive the replay if you can’t attend live.)

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

StephenJenkinson2My guest Stephen Jenkinson is a palliative care consultant, teacher, author and ceremonialist who is “revolutionizing grief and dying in North America.” As the author of Die Wise he teaches that “Dying well is a right and responsibility of everyone.”

Dying well is a right and responsibility of everyone. – Stephen Jenkinson

In this interview we discuss:

  • The origin of death phobia in our society
  • How the fear of non-existence is the greatest fear of most people
  • Why “lost” and “loss” are not helpful terms to use when discussing death
  • The danger of the “fighting illness” mentality of modern medicine
  • Why dying and grief are things that we “do” rather than events that “happen to us”
  • Why palliative care should be dying-centered rather than relief-centered

(This is an excerpt from the interview with Stephen. The full interview can be found at Patreon.com/eolu as a bonus for Platinum level supporters ($5 per month.))

Tune in every Monday for a new episode and if you like this content please share it with others or consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next week:

Face Your Fear         BE Ready          Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 126 Understanding the Fear of Death with Kelvin Chin

kwyattmd

Learn how Kelvin Chin has helped people from all over the world look at and cope with their fear of death.

PodcastChin

kelvinchin2In this episode I share an interview with Kelvin Chin, attorney, mediator, and meditation teacher, who helps people address their fears of death individually and through workshops and lectures. He is the author of the book Overcoming the Fear of Death through each of the 4 main belief systems.

View Kelvin’s website here.

Get the book on Amazon here (through my affiliate link.)

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join A Year of Reading Dangerously and spend 2018 reading one book each month about end-of-life topics. We’re having a great time so join us! Click here to learn more.

Thanks as usual to all my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! I’m so grateful for your donations – they help me keep this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series on the air!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest Kelvin Chin is the Executive Director and Founder of Overcoming the Fear of Death Foundation. Kelvin will share his experiences providing free counseling for people from all over the world to help them reduce their fear of death regardless of their belief system or culture.

In this interview you will learn:

  • How Kelvin started doing this work
  • The 4 Main Belief Systems about Death that cover all religions and cultures
  • How to help yourself or others overcome the fear of death
  • Why inner change is more important than changing external beliefs
  • How Kelvin’s talks and lectures about the fear of death are helping to reduce that fear for his audiences
  • The benefits of meditation in coping with our fears

OFODcover

Kelvin’s book is now available on Amazon. (NOTE: If you use my affiliate link to purchase the book I will receive a small commission from Amazon, which will not affect the amount you pay. Thank you!)

 

 

Tune in every Monday for a brand new episode! Leave a review on iTunes if you enjoy this content – I greatly appreciate it!

Until next time …

Face Your Fear             BE Ready             Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 108 3 Keys to Living & Dying Consciously

kwyattmd

Learn how to awaken to higher consciousness NOW so that you can experience conscious dying at the end of your life.

Podcast3Keys

Wyatt13_2In this episode I share the secret behind the 3-part tagline I use on the EOL University website and at the end of every podcast. (If you listen regularly you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about!) I discuss the wisdom behind the phrases I repeat each week and how they represent keys to our ongoing spiritual evolution!

Check out my author/speaker website here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

IMG_0230My long-awaited trip to Italy begins tomorrow, the day after the original airing of this podcast! You can follow my journey on Instagram and Facebook as I hike, bike, eat, drink, pray, and write my way through the country–all in search of the perfect stories for my new book on grief! I’ve pre-recorded enough podcast episodes to last until I return in one month–“see” you then!

Patreonbecome2xI would like to send a HUGE THANK YOU to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Rich Hayes, who is a hospice chaplain. Check out his website at www.richhayes.com and his book God Made Simple. If you would like to join the list of patrons go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more and chip in $1 or $2 per month to support this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series. You’ll receive a thank-you on this podcast and I’ll also promote your end-of-life related book, website, cause or business. PLUS you’ll receive the monthly Hospice Happy Hour Q&A recordings!

FEATURED PRESENTATION:

3 Keys to Living & Dying Consciously

(Be sure to tune in to upcoming podcast episode #112 when I will feature an interview with philosopher and sage Ken Wilber about conscious dying and the death of his wife Treya. If you are interested in conscious dying you won’t want to miss it!)

In order to die consciously you must first begin to LIVE consciously right now. Here are my 3 tips for awakening to higher consciousness–they have been hiding all along in the simple tagline I use at the end of every podcast! Now you’ll find out what I mean when I remind you of them every week!

Face Your Fear

You must go through your fear in order to rise above it; the more you hide and run away from your fear of death (which is the ultimate fear) you run away from joy, as well. So begin to accept that Death is inevitable–everything in the Universe dies–and life is full of difficulties. Once you embrace that fact you can begin to work specifically on your fear of death and turn it into acceptance.

Follow these 6 steps to rise above your fear of death:

  1. Think about death every day. Include contemplation of death as part of your daily practice; get used to the idea that life is fleeting and you don’t know when it will come to an end.
  2. Read about death. Find books (e.g. What Really Matters) and stories that portray death and dying in a meaningful way to help you see that it is not necessarily something to fear. The dying process can be a beautiful time of healing for patients and families.
  3. Write about death. Use your journal to record your thoughts and emotions about death. Observe how they change over time as you continue this practice of increasing death-awareness. (The book The Tao of Death with its companion journal can be a helpful tool for reading and writing about death.)
  4. Learn about death. The more information you have about the end of life, the more your fears will lessen. Knowledge is one of the most powerful antidotes to fear. Tune in to the interviews on End-of-Life University for an ongoing education about all aspects of the end of life.
  5. Talk about death. Get comfortable including death and dying in your everyday conversations. You’ll find yourself better able to comfort friends and co-workers when they have experienced a loss and you’ll be helping others to tell their stories too.
  6. Work with death. Consider volunteering for hospice to learn how to sit with death and witness the dying process. Hospitals and nursing homes are also good places to volunteer to get closer to death and overcome your fear.

BE Ready

There is no substitute for preparation, no matter what you might face in the future. Once your fear has decreased begin to plan ahead for the end of life and imagine how you would like that experience to unfold. Here are some steps to help you get ready:

  1. Know what really matters to you. Spend some time thinking about what in your life is most important and prioritize those items. You need to know what you value in order to make tough decisions in the future.
  2. Make choices for what you want at the end of life. Use a tool like the Conversation Project Starter Kit to help you decide what type of healthcare you would like to receive in your last days.
  3. Complete your paperwork. You need to appoint a healthcare proxy and fill out an advance directive form in order to give your wishes some legal clout. But you also need to talk to your loved ones and your doctors about your wishes so they will know how to care for you if you can’t speak for yourself.
  4. Tend to your relationships. Learn how to forgive NOW so that you won’t be rushing to complete this important task while on your deathbed. Remember to say “I love you” to those who matter to you whenever you have an opportunity.
  5. Learn to BE in the present moment. Let go of ruminating about the past and worrying about the future–love and joy exist right here, right now in this present moment.

Love Your Life

Once you have learned to manage fear and to BE ready for anything that comes your way, you can begin to learn to love your life just as it is, even if you are surrounded by tragedy and pain. Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Live according to what really matters to you. Let you values guide your choices each day and put your time and energy into the things that are most important.
  2. Practice gratitude each day. Keep a journal and begin by writing down one thing you are grateful for each night before you go to sleep. Even in the worst of times you will be able to think of one thing to be thankful for–you just have to shift your mindset to a more positive focus.
  3. Learn to find love in every situation. After you have developed a gratitude practice you will begin to notice that love is actually present everywhere, in everything that happens. Start focusing on the love and you will find it more and more frequently.
  4. Allow love to fill you. You can become a channel for love to the rest of the world by simply letting love into your life in every possible way. Fill yourself with love so you can share it with others.

Life is an ongoing learning process! No lesson comes easily or without a certain amount of pain, but it’s worth it. If you begin conscious now and begin to live a life of love, then you will remain conscious when it becomes your time to die. You will continue to radiate beauty and joy to those around you–I’ve seen it happen over and over again!

Here are two books to help your learning process and your practice of death awareness:

WRM@flatcover                   Tao

Check them out on Amazon: What Really Matters        The Tao of Death

Keep tuning in each Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this podcast please consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thank you!!

Until the next time, remember ….

Face Your Fear                                BE Ready                         Love Your Life

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