EOLPodcast

Ep. 382 Dear Death: Finding Meaning in Life and Peace in Death with Diane Button

Learn how to create a meaningful life and prepare for death with tools to help death doulas, hospice staff, and loved ones navigate the end of life.

My guest Diane Button is a founding partner of the Bay Area End-of-Life Doula Alliance in Northern California and an instructor for the University of Vermont Larner College of Medicine End-of-Life Doula Professional Certificate Program. She is also the author of Dear Death: Finding Meaning in Life, Peace in Death and Joy in an Ordinary Day and she shares insights she gathered from research she did for her masters degree and from working with hospice and doula clients over the past decade. Learn more at the website:

www.dianebutton.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What led Diane to become a death doula
  • The inspiration behind Dear Death
  • The 4 pillars of a meaningful life and how Diane gathered this information
  • Why legacy projects are important and how to create one
  • What does it take to have a “good death”
  • Why Diane created The Doula’s Final Checklist
  • The “Mint Jelly” exercise for talking about death
  • Where to get Dear Death and the companion workbook

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Lyn Canale and Donelle Dreese and thank you Joy for increasing your pledge! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 378 Surviving Grief with Humor with Laurie Burrows Grad

Learn how this television chef and blogger used humor to help her navigate life as a widow.

My guest Laurie Burrows Grad is a cookbook author and television chef who began blogging about grief, widowhood, and survival after the death of her husband Peter. She shares how she used humor to help her navigate life as a widow and offers some practical tips for others facing widowhood. Laurie is the author of the book The Joke’s Over, You Can Come Back Now: How this Widow Plowed Through Grief and Survived. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.lauriegrad.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Laurie felt demoted socially after the death of her husband
  • How writing blogs helped Laurie get through her grief
  • Why you have to get through the pain of grief in order to come out on the other side
  • Laurie’s experiences with grief counselors and with Our House Grief Support Center
  • How finding meaning within loss can help you feel better
  • How Laurie has used humor in her writing and throughout her grief process
  • The challenges of trying to date as a widow in later life
  • The trauma of experiencing a loved one’s death while traveling in an unfamiliar place and how the Neptune Society helped
  • Top ten things not to say to someone grieving and what to say instead
  • How cooking for others was also helpful for Laurie in her grief
  • How to get through the holidays and anniversaries by preparing in advance
  • The most important things Laurie has learned on her grief journey

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and to those who have made a donation through Paypal or bought me a coffee! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 370 Date with Death Club: Exploring Mortality in Community with Rev. Karen Johnston

Learn about a free curriculum you can bring to your community to foster conversations about death.

My guest Rev. Karen Johnston is an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister and the founder of Date with Death Club. Her own spiritual practice centers on “befriending death” and she shares how this led her to create the curriculum for Date with Death Club. We discuss how to work on befriending death and why education about death is essential. Karen tells us how to join the Date with Death Club and register to use her curriculum for free. Learn more at her website:

www.datewithdeathclub.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Karen’s spiritual practice of befriending death
  • The benefits of making friends with death and losing fear
  • We must go through the fear of death rather than around it
  • How Karen became inspired to create the Date with Death Club
  • The subjects included in this secular curriculum and how they can be used in a variety of ways
  • What are “third things” and why they help us explore our heartspace about difficult issues
  • The importance of addressing our “eco-grief” right now
  • Why Karen is offering it for others to use at no charge
  • How to get involved and utilize the curriculum in your own community

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Bob McInnis, and to Dawn Greene for making a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 338 Ask Doctor Death: Tough Questions About Tough Topics with Terri Daniel and Karen Wyatt

Learn how Terri Daniel and I used our experiences with loss and grief to motivate the work we do today.

In this episode I’m featuring a conversation I had with the Rev. Dr. Terri Daniel on the Ask Doctor Death Podcast, of which I am an occasional co-host. Terri is the creator of the former Afterlife Awareness Conference and now the Conference on Death, Grief and Belief, which will be held July 2022 in Portland OR. We share a wide-ranging discussion that includes our own personal stories and our spiritual journeys, which have brought us where we are today. Learn more about Terri and the conference:

http://www.danieldirect.net

http://www.deathgriefandbelief.com

Download transcript here

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The grief experiences that brought each of us to do work focused on end-of-life issues
  • What it means to us to be spiritual but not religious
  • How we each have found meaning in suffering and grief (and why we wish everyone could)
  • How toxic theology can harm people at the end of life or during grief
  • What we disagree with about some contemporary advice given to those who are grieving (especially on social media)

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patrons Monica Kaniewska and Katharina Mack! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 311 The Conundrum of “Hope” at the End-of-Life

Learn why hope is a powerful tool that can be harmful or helpful at the end of life.

In this solo episode I share some thoughts, concerns, studies, quotes and clips on hope and why it isn’t always a good thing at the end of life. From doctors who refuse to refer patients to hospice and palliative care because they don’t want to take away their hope, to patients who cling to false hopes and resist planning for the end of life, I’ve long been concerned that we are using hope in a toxic way in our medical system. It’s time to look at a better way to help patients find meaning and positive experiences at the end of life than just handing them empty hope.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How hope can be harmful for some people as they approach the end of life
  • Study showing the unrealistic expectations of terminal patients for how long they thought they had to live
  • The consequences of unrealistic hope for individual patients and the medical system
  • How some medical providers use hope as a tool without recognizing the harm it can cause to patients
  • How unrealistic hope can prevent patients from focusing on the present moment
  • Study showing that hope has a spectrum from “miracle cure” to “peaceful death”
  • Most patients want gentle honesty from their doctors but doctors often don’t recognize that
  • How to “dance with death” (per Stephen Jenkinson) rather than fighting against death
  • Why hope can be a superficial disguise for the fear of death
  • How to help people move beyond unrealistic hope to greater acceptance of death

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my supporter John Kuntz for increasing your monthly pledge! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 286 The Three Regrets: Stories from a Buddhist Hospice Chaplain with Tenzin Kiyosaki

Learn how a former Buddhist nun brought her gentle, compassionate approach to hospice chaplaincy.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Laughter Yoga Webinar mentioned in this episode has been rescheduled for March 10th due to severe weather-related power outages experienced by the presenter. You can still register using the link below.

My guest Tenzin Kiyosaki has been a certified interfaith hospice chaplain for the past 13 years. She also practiced as a Buddhist nun for 27 years after being ordained by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and brings an Eastern perspective to her hospice work. She is the author of the book The Three Regrets: Inspirational Stories of Love and Forgiveness at Life’s End and shares the spiritual wisdom she gathered from her work with dying patients.

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Tenzin was inspired to become a hospice chaplain
  • What Tenzin learned from her Buddhist studies about the end of life
  • What hospice work is always an ongoing learning experience
  • How Western culture avoids the subject of death while Eastern cultures embrace it
  • The failure of Western medicine to accept impermanence
  • What led Tenzin to return her vows and become a lay person once again
  • The role of a chaplain in hospice to find the “heart” of each patient
  • Do chaplains and hospice need different titles to overcome bias in our society?
  • How to help patients who regret a lack of accomplishment in life
  • Helping patients who have not shared enough love during their lives
  • Why regret at the end of life is actually a good sign
  • A Buddhist perspective on medical aid in dying

Links included in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, mortal wisdom, Spirituality

Ep. 284 The Hero’s Journey at the End of Life

Learn what the Hero’s Journey can teach us about the dying process and how to support someone on that journey.

In this solo episode I share some thoughts about the archetypal Hero’s Journey, conceived by Joseph Campbell as a template for the transformative experiences of our own lives and those who are facing the end of life. Each of us has the opportunity to be a mentor for someone who is going through the ordeal of their own hero’s journey and this model can help us understand how to offer support and what is needed from us. Download a one page handout at the link below:

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why the archetypal Hero’s Journey applies to people at the end of life
  • Why things generally have to fall apart before transformation can occur
  • How dissolution of life’s equilibrium can lead to either transformation or regression
  • The importance of a mentor for people experiencing the sacred end-of-life journey
  • The most important tasks of the end-of-life hero’s journey
    • Reframing Suffering
    • Strengthening Connections
    • Finding Meaning
    • Facing Fear of Death
  • How unaddressed shadow issues can sabotage transformation at the end of life
  • The benefits of stories as tools for a mentor
  • How to utilize stories to assist with transformation

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!