death acceptance – End of Life University

Learn why hope is a powerful tool that can be harmful or helpful at the end of life.

In this solo episode I share some thoughts, concerns, studies, quotes and clips on hope and why it isn’t always a good thing at the end of life. From doctors who refuse to refer patients to hospice and palliative care because they don’t want to take away their hope, to patients who cling to false hopes and resist planning for the end of life, I’ve long been concerned that we are using hope in a toxic way in our medical system. It’s time to look at a better way to help patients find meaning and positive experiences at the end of life than just handing them empty hope.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

How hope can be harmful for some people as they approach the end of life
Study showing the unrealistic expectations of terminal patients for how long they thought they had to live
The consequences of unrealistic hope for individual patients and the medical system
How some medical providers use hope as a tool without recognizing the harm it can cause to patients
How unrealistic hope can prevent patients from focusing on the present moment
Study showing that hope has a spectrum from “miracle cure” to “peaceful death”
Most patients want gentle honesty from their doctors but doctors often don’t recognize that
How to “dance with death” (per Stephen Jenkinson) rather than fighting against death
Why hope can be a superficial disguise for the fear of death
How to help people move beyond unrealistic hope to greater acceptance of death

Links mentioned in this episode:

Episode 309: Interview with Dr. Jody Stern
Episode 150: Interview with Stephen Jenkinson
Blog: Hope is Hazardous by Richard Smith
Webpage: Hope as a Strategy
Study on Fostering Coping and Nurturing Hope
Sign up for the 2021 online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously at this link
Support your local bookstore by buying my books on Bookshop and Indiebound: 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying and The Journey from Ego to Soul
Subscribe to this podcast on Apple, Google, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Stitcher Radio
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my supporter John Kuntz for increasing your monthly pledge! Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 220 What to Do When Someone Dies: How Lantern Shows the Way with Liz Eddy

November 11, 2019November 8, 2019 kwyattmd

Learn about a new online resource for people dealing with the death of a loved one.

My guest Liz Eddy is the founder of Lantern.co, an innovative online resource for navigating the stressful and painful days after the death of a loved one. She shares how she was inspired to create this site and how it benefits those in need of information and guidance with all of the decisions that must be made after a death. Learn more at the website:

www.lantern.co

Listen here:

This episode includes:

How and why Liz created Lantern
How one person can make a big difference in the world
Why a “one-stop” resource site is valuable after the death of a loved one
How Lantern can help people make more affordable choices after a death
Educational resources available on Lantern
How technology can help people avoid being taken advantage of by vendors
How people connect with Lantern during a time of need
The “big vision” for Lantern in the future

Links mentioned in this episode:

Lantern.co
Instagram: @followLantern
Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu,especially my newest Patron David Stubbers, your contributions mean everything to me!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 207 The Dance of Life and Death – Part 2: Balance

August 12, 2019August 9, 2019 kwyattmd

In this 4-part series of solo episodes I’m sharing wisdom about the intertwining of life and death in a perfect dance that spirals throughout eternity. Today I talk about balance, which is an essential element of any dance. Learn how to balance dying while living and living while dying! These thoughts are derived from my book What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying.

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

Thoughts on coping with tragedy and 5 tips for spiritual survival
Why we cannot live fully (and in balance) if we ignore death
How the medical system perpetuates the separation of death from life
How being mindful of death helps us let go of attachments and live with equanimity
Practices for bringing death awareness into daily life:
- Morning gratitude practice
- Mantra: This day is a gift
- Notice death around you – including tragedies in the world
- Observe the “little deaths” each day
- Practice getting back into balance
Discover joie de vivre (the joy of living) and practice love through your final breath

Links mentioned in this episode:

Art of Dying Author Series with Karen Wyatt MD – September 6, 2019 – Open Center, NYC
Workshop: Earth Lessons for the Soul – September 7, 2019 – Open Center, NY
Blog post: How to Cope When Tragedy Strikes
Get the book: The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation by Rainer Maria Rilke; translated and edited by Ulrich Baer
Get the book: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche
Retreat: A Deeper Dive Into Death
Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron, Heather Thomas–your contribution means everything to me!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 206 The Dance of Life and Death – Part 1: Timing

August 5, 2019August 3, 2019 kwyattmd

In this 4-part series of solo episodes I’m sharing wisdom about the intertwining of life and death in a perfect dance that spirals throughout eternity. Today I talk about timing, which is one of the essential components of any dance! These thoughts are derived from my book What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying.

Get the book here.

Join me for the Art of Dying Author Series on September 6th at the Open Center in New York City. I’ll be discussing What Really Matters and signing books! Learn more here.

Also check out my workshop September 7th: Earth Lessons for the Soul here

Life and Death, two partners holding one another closely, swaying eternally to the music of the Universe.

– Karen Wyatt MD from What Really Matters

Listen here.

This episode includes:

Rainer Maria Rilke’s letters to the bereaved
Why death and life are locked in an inseparable dance
How we learn slowly about death through life’s experiences
How to cope with the unique timing of life’s events when it doesn’t fit our hopes and expectations
Why even our mistakes and failures turn out to be perfect

We must live in both, be intimately at home in both [life and death.]

– Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Dark Interval

Links mentioned in this episode:

Get the book: The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation by Rainer Maria Rilke; translated and edited by Ulrich Baer
Art of Dying Author Series with Karen Wyatt MD – September 6, 2019 – Open Center, NYC
Workshop: Earth Lessons for the Soul – September 7, 2019 – Open Center, NY
Beautiful Dying Expo – November 2-3, 2019, San Diego CA
Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patrons, Michelle Wilkinson and Sandy Lemen–your contributions mean everything to me!

EOLPodcast, mortal wisdom, Spirituality

Ep. 195 Why Death is Life’s Best-Kept Secret

May 20, 2019June 1, 2019 kwyattmd

Learn how to live your best life by embracing your mortality.

In Part 8 of the Mortal Wisdom Series I’ll summarize the 7 lessons presented in the previous episodes and discuss the mindset we need to adopt in order to live fully and peacefully as mortal beings. Find out my tips and guideposts for living a death-aware life no matter what blessings or challenges we are given to navigate. Listen to Parts 1-6 first if you haven’t heard them yet!

Listen here:

This episode includes:

Why each day should be a “good day to die”
How to carry death with you at all times as your wise advisor
How all 7 lessons from mortality fit and flow together:
- Suffering
- Love
- Forgiveness
- Presence
- Purpose
- Surrender
- Impermanence
Why life is like an episode of “Chopped” cooking show: the “ingredients” life gives you are always a surprise and your task is to make something beautiful and delicious from them
5 tips for living a death-aware life each and every day

Nake nula waun: I am ready for whatever comes.

– Lakota Sioux battle cry

Links mentioned in this episode:

Mortal Wisdom Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, and Part 7
Beautiful Dying Expo – Nov. 2-3, 2019 – San Diego CA
Spirituality and Chronic Illness Course – starts July 9th
Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patrons: Jennifer Turner, Laura Sodders and Tom Johnson-Medland!