EOLPodcast

Ep. 428 Love and Loss as a Caregiver Dealing with Lewy Body Dementia with Mary Lou Falcone

Learn about Lewy Body Dementia, why it is difficult to diagnose, and the special challenges faced by caregivers.

My guest Mary Lou Falcone has been an advocate for Lewy body dementia awareness since her dear husband Nicky Zann died of the disease in 2020. Mary Lou is internationally known as a classical music publicist who has guided the careers of many celebrated artists such as Van Cliburn, Renée Fleming, and James Taylor. Her communication and strategy skills make her well-suited to be an ambassador for LBD awareness and she is committed to sharing her experience and factual information about LBD with the public. She is the author of the newly published book I Didn’t See it Coming: Scenes of Love, Loss, and Lewy Body Dementia. Learn more at her website:

www.maryloufalcone.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why Mary Lou decided to become a crusader for LBD awareness
  • The difference between Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body Dementia
  • The symptoms of LBD and why it is often difficult to diagnose
  • The inspiration for writing this book
  • Why LBD is little known by the general population
  • How to cope as a caregiver with the fluctuating symptoms of LBD
  • Survival strategies for LBD caregivers
  • Helpful resources available for caregivers

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest donors Trina Wacasey and Samantha Potter and to Dianne Feltham for increasing your pledge.  Also thank you to Anonymous for buying me 3 coffees and to Carol Soppe and Samantha Potter for joining the $10 for 10 Years Campaign! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 417 Dignity Day: A Guidebook for Medical Aid in Dying with Gabrielle Elise Jimenez

Learn about a helpful guidebook to provide information and dispel fear around medical aid in dying.

My guest Gabrielle Elise Jimenez is a hospice nurse, an end-of-life doula, and a conscious dying educator. She is the author of 6 books and the host of The Hospice Heart Facebook group, which now has 140,000 members. We discuss her latest book Dignity Day, an informational guide for people who are considering or want to learn more about medical aid in dying, based on Gabby’s experiences with patients who have chosen this option in her home state of California. Learn more about Gabby’s work and join her Facebook group at the following links:

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why Gabby chose “Dignity Day” as a title for the book
  • The general requirements for using MAID in states where it is legal
  • What patients and their families should expect when they consult medical providers about MAID
  • How a hospice nurse or end-of-life doula can support a patient going through this process
  • The preparations needed before the medication is ingested
  • What it looks like when a person dies using MAID and how to prepare patients and loved ones for that
  • How to talk to loved ones who don’t support a patient’s decision to use MAID

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest donors Lorene Reyes, David Easton, Ed Modell, and thanks to Joan Roellchen-Pfohl for upping your pledge! Also many thanks to Dan and Judy Dickinson for buying some coffees and to all of you who joined the $10 for 10 Years Campaign! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 413 Death in the E.R. and the Failures of Modern Medicine with Drew Remignanti MD

Learn about current issues in healthcare that are impacting the quality of care received at the end of life.

My guest Dr. Drew Remignanti is an emergency medicine physician who has lived with chronic illness since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at the age of 19. He suffered a major stroke at the age of 38 that sidetracked his career for five years but inspired him to write the book The Healing Connection: A Partnership for Your Health, which explores how dollar-driven motives wield too much influence over our medical decisions, including at the end of life. To learn more about the book follow Dr. Remignanti on Facebook:

Follow on Facebook

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What happens when people show up at the ER without an advance directive
  • Why the default emergency care is “do everything”
  • What is “slow medicine” and how are current forces in the healthcare system working against it
  • Why patients and providers need to work together to make the changes we need
  • When people know and trust their physician they are far more likely to create an advance care plan for their health and follow it
  • Studies show it takes only 40 seconds of compassion in a medical encounter to make a significant difference
  • The “commoditization” of healthcare and the problems it causes
  • The US has an 88% rate of healthcare illiteracy, meaning people do not know how to acquire or apply information about their health

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest donor Carole Heaney! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 409 The Death Doula’s Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared with Francesca Lynn Arnoldy

Learn about a brilliant workbook that helps us expand death literacy while exploring life’s deeper meaning.

My guest Francesca Lynn Arnoldy is a doula and a researcher with the Vermont Conversation Lab. She was the original developer of the end-of-life doula training programs at the University of Vermont and is the author of three “death-lit” books. In this conversation we’ll discuss her latest workbook The Death Doula’s Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared. Learn more at her websites:

www.francescalynnarnoldy.com

www.contemplativedoula.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Reminder about Francesca’s previous book Map of Memory Lane and how it helps children learn about grief
  • Francesca’s main inspiration for creating this workbook
  • The value of keeping a “Death Journal”
  • How to use The Death Doula’s Guide as a death journal
  • The importance of acquiring both intellectual knowledge and inner wisdom
  • A heart-centering practice for death workers is a valuable tool
  • What death wellness means and how one can achieve it
  • The difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion
  • How to do a life review

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and to Robin Miniter for buying me 3 coffees! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 403 Death Over Drafts: Meeting People Where They Are with Stefanie Elkins

Learn about creating opportunities in your community for conversations about death.

My guest Stefanie Elkins is a Family Caregiver Consultant, end-of-life doula, founder of Be Present Care, and the creator of Death Over Drafts, a community event held at breweries across the country to spark meaningful conversations around death and dying. She’ll share her experience bringing end-of-life conversations to community spaces where people naturally gather and how we can make a difference in someone’s end-of-life journey by helping them talk about death and grief. Learn more about Stefanie’s work at her website:

www.bepresentcare.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Stefanie helps patients and families at the end of life
  • What inspired Death Over Drafts
  • Who attends Death Over Drafts and examples of the conversations that have taken place
  • Why conversations about death are important
  • Why we need to meet people where they are and bring death education to various venues and spaces
  • How to bring Death Over Drafts to your own community
  • Why end-of-life workers need to do their own work planning for the end of life
  • How families can support the aging and prepare for the inevitable

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest donor Phyllis Wintter and to Don Zacharias for making a Paypal donation! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 400 The Value of Death: The Lancet Commission Report with Dr. Libby Sallnow

Learn about the important recent report from the Lancet Commission in the UK on the value of death and what each of us needs to do to help bring death back into life.

My guest Dr. Libby Sallnow is a palliative medicine consultant and honorary senior lecturer at St. Christopher’s Hospice and the UCL Marie Curie Palliative Care Research Department, UK. She is also the co-author of The Lancet Commission Report on the Value of Death: Bringing Death Back Into Life. In addition her PhD explored the translation of a model of compassionate communities from Kerala, India to London, UK. She discusses the creation of the report on The Value of Death and its key takeaways that can form a roadmap for the reform and rebalancing of death and dying in our societies. Learn more about her work at the website:

www.ucl.ac.uk/health-of-public/news-and-events/spotlight/spotlight-dr-libby-sallnow

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired Libby’s interest in end-of-life care
  • The Lancet Commission on the Value of Death and what lead to their recent report
  • Why we need to rebalance death and dying
  • The “5 principles of a realistic utopia” as described in the report
  • Why we need to focus on death literacy first as we try to improve end-of-life care in our societies
  • The compassionate communities approach (to be covered in a future episode)

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my latest patrons Jeff Black and Lindsay Compton, and to Brittany Ellis for your donation on Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 396 The Chrysalis™ Room: Transforming Death in the Nursing Home with Loretta Downs

Learn about a mission to transform care for dying patients and their loved ones in nursing homes.

My guest Loretta Downs is a Certified End-of-Life Care Practitioner and holds a Masters Degree in Gerontology. She founded Chrysalis End-of-Life Inspirations to advocate for the creation of private rooms in nursing homes and hospitals where families and friends can keep vigil with a loved one who is dying. She’ll discuss her project and share some of the stories that have inspired her work. (NOTE: This is an archived interview from the days before I acquired a professional microphone, so the sound quality is less than desired, but the content is excellent!) Learn more at Loretta’s website:

www.endoflifeinspirations.com

Listen on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Loretta became interested in working with the dying
  • What is a “Chrysalis Room”
  • How Loretta conceived of the idea of a separate room for the dying in nursing homes
  • How the Chrysalis Room has benefitted both the patients and the staffs of long-term care facilities
  • What it takes to create a Chrysalis Room
  • How to advocate with a facility to change the way they care for the dying

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Marian Head and Jaime Corbin, and to Lynn Mytroen for buying me a coffee! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 390 Funeral Consumers Alliance: Resources for Funeral Planning with Martha Lundgren

Learn how the FCA helps consumers plan ahead for funerals and make informed choices for themselves and their loved ones.

My guest Martha Lundgren is the president of the board of Funeral Consumers Alliance of Arizona. She also serves on the speakers bureau for FCA-AZ and is a representative in the Arizona End of Life Care Partnership. Martha will tell us the role FCA plays in educating people about their rights when planning a funeral and how to avoid costly mistakes, which is information we all need to know for ourselves, loved ones, patients and clients. Learn more at the websites:

Funeral Consumers Alliance of Arizona: www.fcaaz.org

National Funeral Consumers Alliances: www.funerals.org

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The role of the Funeral Consumers Alliance
  • Why planning ahead is important for funerals, especially if you have specific wishes for what happens
  • How FCA helps consumers “shop around” for funeral arrangements
  • The funeral industry in general lacks transparency about pricing
  • Why you should plan in advance but not pay in advance for funerals
  • Consumers should beware of deceptive advertising in the funeral industry
  • Why it’s important to name someone to pay for and plan your funeral
  • What to do if your loved one doesn’t want a funeral
  • How to cover the cost of a funeral or disposition
  • What happens if someone dies while traveling out of state or out of the country

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Diana Hiatt! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 386 Five Wishes: Advance Care Planning for Everyone with Joanne Eason

Learn more about the Five Wishes document and why it can be a good choice as an advance directive.

My guest Joanne Eason is the president of Five Wishes, the nation’s only national advance care planning program. She discusses the history of the Five Wishes organization and the benefits of using the Five Wishes form as an advance directive. We review the reasons why everyone over age 18 needs and advance directive and how Five Wishes can meet that need. Learn more at the website:

www.fivewishes.org

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The original inspiration behind Five Wishes
  • What the Five Wishes document consists of
  • Which 46 states recognize Five Wishes as a legal document and the extra steps needed in the other 4 states
  • Why choose Five Wishes over state advance directive forms or how to use both forms together
  • The benefits of planning ahead for the end of life
  • The importance of choosing the best person as a healthcare proxy
  • Why Five Wishes asks individuals to define “what life support treatment means to me”
  • The importance of including questions about more than just wishes for medical treatment in advance care planning
  • What steps to take after completing Five Wishes
  • How the Five Wishes form acknowledges the “gray areas” of end-of-life planning

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Kyle Tevlin and Janice Cotter! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 379 Honoring Choices: A Film to Inspire End-of-Life Planning with Elizabeth Coplan and Halle Williams

Learn about a short film that was created to encourage people to plan for and have conversations about the end of life.

In this episode I welcome two guests to discuss the short film Honoring Choices that is a powerful tool for persuading people to plan for and talk about the end of life. Elizabeth Coplan is the founder of Grief Dialogues and the creator of the stage play Honoring Choices that ultimately became the film we are featuring. Halle Williams is the marketing director for both Grief Dialogues and Honoring Choices and the co-host of Out of Grief Comes Art Podcast along with Elizabeth. Learn more about their work at the website:

www.griefdialogues.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired the creation of the film Honoring Choices
  • The true story behind the film
  • What Elizabeth and Halle hope the film will accomplish
  • The serious racial disparity in completing advance directives and how the film helps address this issue
  • The power of storytelling and how the film uses story to teach
  • The premiere of Honoring Choices at the Reimagine Festival in LA
  • How to use the film for teaching for hospices, hospitals, schools, churches
  • How to sponsor a screening of the film
  • Inspiration for the podcast Out of Grief Comes Art

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Maggie Dial! Your contribution makes all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 372 Creating a Spiritual Care Directive with Rhonda LoPresti

Learn about the importance of having a directive to let others know about your spiritual wishes at the end of life, even if you are not religious or spiritual.

My guest Rhonda LoPresti is an end-of-life coach, home funeral guide and longtime practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism. She has created a Spiritual Care Directive for Buddhists and also a Universal Spiritual Care Directive to guide people in expressing their spiritual wishes at the end of life. Rhonda offers a 9-week course called “Writing Your Spiritual Care Directive–A Buddhist Plan for the Time of Dying” and she shares why it’s important to plan ahead for our spiritual care at life’s end. Learn more at her website:

www.peacefullyprepared.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Rhonda became interested in working as an end-of-life coach and home funeral guide
  • What is a Spiritual Care Directive and why is it important
  • Why people who do not consider themselves religious or spiritual still need to consider their spiritual wishes at the end of life
  • Components of a spiritual care directive (for Buddhists and non-Buddhists)
  • Why a spiritual advocate is helpful at the end of life
  • Why some people may prefer not to be touched during the active dying process
  • What a “goodbye ceremony” might consist of
  • Why create a “spiritual will”

Planning is an act of kindness.”

Rhonda LoPresti

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Volunteer Hospice of Clallam County Soul Care Speaker Series October 12th at Noon Pacific: Register here
  • DDNBC Workshop with Barbara Karnes and Karen Wyatt October 13th at 6:30 pm Pacific: Register here
  • Contact Rhonda for a free copy of the Spiritual Care Directive: rhonda@peacefully-prepared.com

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Laura Sue Cleminson, Nancy R. and Charlotte VanVactor, and to Athena Berens for making a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 368 Why Death Education is Important with Karen Wyatt

Learn some ideas for how you might teach others in your community about death and dying and why you should.

In today’s solo episode I’ll share with you my thoughts on why death education is so essential in our society today. No matter what type of work you do in the end-of-life field (estate attorney, hospice staff, death doula, home funeral guide, green burial practitioner, bereavement counselor) you need to help educate your community about death, dying and grief if you want people to utilize your services. Right now we ALL need to become death educators in our own special way and I’ll talk about why that’s true and how you might get involved.

Watch on YouTube to see the slides

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • We are living longer and developing complex diseases (like Alzheimer’s) with increasing incidence.
  • Medical tech continues to advance rapidly allowing us to prolong life (even when patient’s don’t want that).
  • Our society is divided over ethical and moral dilemmas around end-of-life issues like medical aid in dying and removal of life support.
  • Being unprepared for death has a high financial cost (too much medical care and wasteful after-death care)
  • There is also and emotional and spiritual cost to ignoring death.
  • Where we need to be teaching about death, dying and grief:
    • The home – showing parents how to talk to their children about death
    • Schools – teaching high school and college students about death through classes, book clubs, discussion groups
    • Churches – clergy members need to know about EOL issues in order to better serve their congregations
    • Workplaces – employers and staff need to know how to deal with death and grief at work
    • Medical facilities – of course all medical personnel need much more education about death, grief, and how to deal with EOL decisions
    • Assisted living and nursing homes – staff also need to know how to handle grief, help residents with ACP, create sacred space for dying residents

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Francesca Arnoldy, and to those who have bought me a coffee and made a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 366 The Death Conversation Game and Talking About Death with Angela Fama

Learn about a creative game to help foster conversations about death.

My guest Angela Fama is an artist and photographer who lives in Vancouver Canada and is also a recently trained death doula. She created the Death Conversation Game and facilitates online seasonal Let’s Talk About Death conversations. She will share how she became interested in exploring death as a subject and why she created the game. We will also play a few rounds of the game so you can see how it works! Learn more at her websites:

www.angelafama.com

www.deathconversationgame.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Angela’s What is Love project
  • How focusing on love led her eventually to learn about death
  • Why Angela needed to talk about death after a serious accident
  • What inspired the Death Conversation Game
  • How playing a game helps facilitate conversations about death
  • Why it’s important for people to talk about death
  • How to create a safe, trauma-informed space to discuss death
  • We play the game to demonstrate how it works
  • Who might benefit from using the game in their work
  • How Angela’s time in Zimbabwe influenced her decision to become a death doula
  • Angela’s request for a collaborator to extend the reach of the game

Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?

The Flaming Lips from Do You Realize

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Song: Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips
  • Get in touch with Angela: info@deathconversationgame.com

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Martha Lundgren, and to those who have bought me a coffee and made a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 365 How to Live a Death-Aware Life with Karen Wyatt MD (ENCORE)

Learn the benefits of having a personal practice to increase our death-awareness.

In this encore solo episode I’ll be sharing with you research that shows that the human brain has a primal mechanism to protect us from thinking about and acknowledging our own personal death. Even those of us who study death and teach others how to prepare for the end of life can be in denial about our own mortality. However, living with “death awareness” is the best way to grow spiritually and make the most of every moment of life. My book The Tao of Death (with a companion journal) can be used for daily contemplation and help you become more death aware in your own life. Let’s talk about why we need to maintain our death-awareness and how to do it!

www.eoluniversity.com/taoofdeath

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • A study that shows the defenses against death-awareness that exist in the primitive human brain
  • Why personal death-awareness must be intentionally cultivated
  • How death-awareness can expand and transform our lives
  • Why daily death contemplation is essential to our growth
    • Think about the fleeting nature of life
    • Acknowledge fears of death and dying
    • Recognize barriers to awareness
  • Benefits of increased death-awareness:
    • Enjoy the present moment
    • Find comfort in stillness
    • Experience authentic gratitude for life
    • Experience awe
    • Become less attached to material things
    • Be more inclusive and less exclusive
    • See everything as sacred

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and to those who have bought me a coffee (thank you Elisa Weger!) and made a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 353 The Rebellious Widow: Love and Life After Loss with Jill Johnson-Young

Learn practical tips for navigating the caregiving journey and grief after the death of a spouse.

My guest Jill Johnson-Young is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has worked in hospice and as a therapist specializing in grief, loss, dementia, and trauma. She shares her personal journey as a caregiver for two spouses and as a “double widow” along with helpful tips for grief and how to break the “widow rules.” She is the author of numerous books about grief for adults and children including her most recent The Rebellious Widow: A Practical Guide to Love and Life After Loss. Learn more at her websites:

www.therebelliouswidow.com

www.jilljohnsonyoung.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The “widow rules” and why they need to be challenged
  • How society judges grievers rather than allowing them to take their own unique path
  • How anticipatory grief helped with her process of grief after death
  • The importance of fostering intimacy for couples who are facing death (making “body memories”)
  • How medical and hospice providers often overlook the needs of the caregiver
  • What to say to couples dealing with a terminal illness
  • Why couples should discuss the caregiver’s future after death
  • Setting boundaries and asking for help as a caregiver
  • How she found “helpers” to connect with her children and watch over them during the dying process and funeral
  • The jarring moment when a diagnosis is received for both patient and caregiver
  • Challenges facing same-sex couples as they access care
  • Humor as self-preservation for medical staff and caregivers

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Janis Wiebking and Robin Blanche! Also thank you to Francis Pope Hewitt for your Paypal donation! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 350 Meeting the End-of-Life Needs of Your Community with Elizabeth Johnson and Erin Collins RN

Learn how this non-profit organization is working to solve gaps in end-of-life care in their community.

My guests Elizabeth Johnson and Erin Collins are the founders and creators of the non-profit Peaceful Presence Project with a mission of helping communities live well, age well and die well by reimagining the way we talk about, plan for and experience the last stage of life. They have created Endnotes, a roadmap for end-of-life planning an will discuss the genesis of their organization and how they take a community-based approach in their work by meeting the gaps that exist in end-of-life care. Learn more at their website:

www.the peacefulpresenceproject.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Elizabeth and Erin were inspired to start this organization
  • The Compassionate Communities model of care that informs their work
  • The importance of integrating palliative care into daily life
  • How to reclaim deathcare as a social event with a medical component
  • Surveying the community for strengths and weaknesses around end-of-life issues to determine areas of need
  • Thoughts on improving the medical model to move from a curative focus to a healing focus by increasing education around palliative and end-of-life care
  • Reasons why our advance care planning has not been “successful” so far
  • High quality conversations about EOL choices are essential and they should start outside of healthcare first
  • Why advance care planning is important for those experiencing homelessness
  • The needs for increased access to palliative care in rural communities
  • Exploring who is too poor to die well

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 348 My Living Obituary: Legacy Therapy at the End of Life with Maggie Gannon and Heidi Connolly

Learn about a new platform that helps people create their own obituary or legacy project to benefit their loved ones after death.

My guests are Maggie Gannon, an Adult Gerontology Clinical Nurse Specialist who started My Living Obituary, and Heidi Connolly, an author, musician and intuitive coach who helps people write their obituaries. Maggie created My Living Obituary to help palliative care and hospice teams increase quality of life and improve patient experience. Heidi helps people using the platform craft their own stories to leave behind as a legacy for their loved ones. Learn more about their work at these websites:

Maggie: www.mylivingobituary.com

Heidi: www.theobitwriter.net and www.heidiconnolly.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The evidence behind legacy therapy to enhance dignity at the end of life based on research by Dr. Harvey Chochinov
  • How telling our life story helps us find meaning in our existence
  • Legacy therapy helps improve quality of life and decrease depression for patients
  • Studies have shown that family members benefit from legacy therapy as well
  • Listening to patients’ stories has been shown to increase their sense of worth and value
  • How the legacy therapy platform can be incorporated into the intake process for patients and used to measure quality of life and bill for advance care planning
  • Tips for writing an obituary:
    • Just get started
    • You don’t have to be a good writer
    • Make lists of characteristics, preferences, stories
    • Find a good “hook” for the story
    • Include poems, music, videos
  • The benefits of having a guide and a platform to help people craft an obituary
  • Creating your own living obituary before you die helps unburden loved ones at the time of your death
  • How this platform allows unlimited space for obituaries, unlike newspaper obituaries
  • How clinical staff can use the platform to enroll new patients and assist them with the life review questions

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLU Blog

Finding Meaning in a Broken Life

Focus on the goodness of life rather than the regrets to find healing.

Jody was just 36 years old when she found out her colon cancer was incurable. I came to her apartment for our first hospice visit and saw that she was depressed and despondent over her diagnosis—as I had expected for someone her age who was raising two children by herself. She told me story after story of all the regrets she was carrying. And I just listened.

Her life had been unimaginably difficult—in foster care for most of her childhood then finally adopted at age 12 by a wonderful couple who loved her dearly. But she had been so filled with rage she couldn’t receive their love. She experimented with drugs and alcohol and was in and out of juvenile detention for petty crimes throughout her teens. There had been other even deeper regrets, but she didn’t want to talk about them. 

Jody was angry and bitter, but also ashamed. She believed she had wasted her life and now her children would grow up without a mother. She asked if there was any way to speed up her dying process because she could no longer face all of the emotional pain that was coming to the surface. 

We talked about things she could do to help with grief for her children, like writing letters to them that they could open at various milestones throughout their lives. She liked the idea that she could make sure her children didn’t feel unwanted, which she had experienced for most of her life.

I wasn’t sure how we could help Jody heal from all of these regrets. There were so many broken threads in her life and so many pieces to help her put back together. But then a little miracle happened. On my next visit with Jody she was like a different person: joyful and filled with energy and laughter. And she had more stories to tell me. 

Jody’s adoptive sister had come for a weekend visit and had brought with her boxes of old photos and a scrapbook. The two of them spent hours each day going through the photos together and gluing them into the album as a keepsake for Jody’s children. They wrote little stories on the pages to explain the pictures, which were arranged in a chronological timeline of Jody’s life.

She showed me each of the pages and told me entirely different stories than I had heard on my previous visit. Here was a family trip to the beach when she was 16. There was her favorite Halloween costume. And look: she was all dressed up for senior prom. Then there were pages and pages of pictures of her with her children: playing games, reading books, opening Christmas gifts, laughing, hugging, eating—all the little moments of life.

Jody wiped a tear away and smiled at me with a radiance I hadn’t seen before. “I’ve had a good life,” she said. “And I’ve been a good mom.” 

Here in her hands were the photos that documented all of the goodness of her life. In comparison to the magnificence of these moments, her regrets had faded away. She found meaning in the memories captured in these photos and was able to weave the broken threads of her life into a beautiful tapestry that was uniquely hers. 

Jody died just two weeks later. But she had been able to go through the album with her children and tell them all the stories that were depicted there. And she managed to write each of them letters that they could open when they were older. They would know they were loved and that their lives mattered and that an angel would be watching over them for all of their days. 

For most of us—like Jody—life hands us a mixture of sorrows and joys. We can view it all through the lens of regret and wish that things had been different. But we can also find ways to pick up the broken pieces and put them together to create a work of art–the likes of which has never before been seen–that might just change the world.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 339 Feng Shui for Hospice Patients with Char Tarashanti

Learn how paying attention to the small details of the surroundings can make a big difference in the wellbeing of hospice patients.

My guest Char Tarashanti is a retired Hospice Chaplain and Certified Feng Shui Consultant. She shares how the principles of Feng Shui can be applied to the care of hospice patients and improve the physical environment as well as the harmony and balance of the space. Her practical suggestions make it simple for any of us to create more pleasing and appealing surroundings for people at the end of life. Download her handout here:

Handout

Read Transcript

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What is Feng Shui
  • How death is viewed within the Feng Shui tradition
  • How Char became interested in Feng Shui and in hospice work
  • The benefits for patient and caregiver of creating a more harmonious space
  • The essential elements of Feng Shui and how to apply them to a hospice room
  • How to manage clutter and get better organized in a home hospice setting
  • The two most important features of Feng Shui for hospice patients
  • How caregivers should communicate about any changes being made in the home before beginning the process

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patrons Aby Fy and Anne Janssen and to Richard Schneider for increasing your monthly pledge! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 337 The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: A Caregiver’s Journal with Jennifer O’Brien

Learn about a beautiful, artistic journal that explores the caregiver’s journey through dying and grief.

My guest this week is Jennifer O’Brien, author of the creative, gorgeous journal: The Hospice Doctor’s Widow. She discusses her journey as she cared for her husband who was a hospice and palliative care physician diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. We talk about grief and loss and caregiving in this intimate conversation. Learn more at her website:

www.hospicedrswidow.com

Get the book here

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why this book is ideal for caregivers and people dealing with grief
  • How Jennifer created the art for the book
  • How Jennifer incorporated her husband’s wisdom into the book
  • What is “Precious Time” and how did that inform the way she and Bob spent his last days of life together
  • Navigating anticipatory grief for caregivers
  • Why the patient and the caregiver are going through two different processes
  • Why the survivors’ journey can be more difficult than the patient’s journey
  • What is the Triad of Certainty
  • Advice for caregivers
  • The At Peace Toolkit – A Guide to Being at Peace with End of Life

‘Precious Time’ is when you say what you need to say and don’t say what you will later regret.”

from The Hospice Doctor’s Widow by Jennifer O’Brien
  • A Year of Reading Dangerously – Register here
  • Get the At Peace Toolkit from Jennifer here

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patrons G. Thackrey and Mary Susan Graham! Your contributions make all the difference.