Tag: compassion

EOLPodcast

Ep. 517 Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living with Diane Button

kwyattmd

Learn about a heartwarming book of end-of-life teaching stories about the “little things” that make life meaningful.

My guest Diane Button is an end-of-life doula, a founding partner of the Bay Area End-of-Life Doula Alliance in Northern California, and an instructor for the University of Vermont’s End-of-Life Doula Professional Certificate Program. She has been a NEDA board member and a hospice volunteer and is the author of the newly published book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living. She discusses the book and the importance of storytelling and legacy projects. Learn more at her website:

dianebutton.com

Get the book here

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired Diane to write this book
  • Why storytelling is important as we help our society become more death aware
  • The Joy Counter and other stories from the book
  • The value of “the little things” of life to help us create meaning
  • Why legacy projects are helpful as we approach the end of life
  • How Diane helps people create their own legacy projects
  • What is the “Final Checklist”
  • Who can benefit from reading this book
  • How this work has impacted Diane’s life

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and thank you to everyone who bought me a coffee or made a donation on Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 309 A Neurosurgeon’s Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion with Joseph Stern MD

kwyattmd

Learn how his sister’s illness and death made this neurosurgeon a better doctor.

My guest Dr. Joseph Stern is a partner in the country’s largest neurosurgical group practice in Greensboro, North Carolina. While he has frequently worked with patients and families facing life-limiting illness, his experiences at the bedside of his sister during her nearly one-year ordeal with leukemia, changed everything for him. He shares how his own medical practice was affected by what he learned about the patient’s perspective on end-of-life care and how he envisions our medical system needs to shift in order to improve the care being offered to all patients. He is the author of Grief Connects Us: A Neurosurgeon’s Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion. Learn more about his work at his website:

www.JosephSternMD.com

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The shock Dr. Stern experienced when viewing medical care through the eyes of a terminal patient
  • Why he wished his sister’s doctors had discussed her terminal prognosis with her
  • How to balance hope with reality when facing terminal illness
  • The additional lessons
  • he learned as healthcare proxy for his brother-in-law who suffered a brain aneurysm
  • The definition of “emotional agility” and why it should be taught to all medical students
  • How to improve empathy and communication skills for medical providers
  • Why palliative care should be started much earlier for all patients facing potential life-limiting illness
  • How Dr. Stern has changed his own approach to patients in light of what he has learned
  • How empathy and compassion can actually prevent burnout for medical providers rather than cause it

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 297 Compassion 101: Why We Are Failing and How To Do Better

kwyattmd

Learn how to increase your own capacity for compassion toward yourself and others and make the world a better place in the process.

In this episode I share some of the research and articles I’ve been reading in the book Compassion: Bridging Practice and Science, edited by Tania Singer and Matthias Bolz. It seems to be that we are in need of greater compassion as a society right now to help us cope with our current adversities and grow stronger in love and kindness in the process. I have some poems and practices to share that hopefully will inspire all of us to higher consciousness. View Tania Singer’s website:

www.taniasinger.de

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we need more compassion in our society right now
  • 5 reasons why we are “failing” at compassion
  • The difference between empathy and compassion according to researchers
  • Why overdoing empathy can lead to burnout while practicing compassion can prevent it
  • The positive benefits of compassion practices
  • How and why to begin practicing self-compassion
  • The difference between self-compassion and self-esteem
  • Study results on using the Lovingkindness Meditation (Metta) as a regular practice
  • Mantras to use for self-compassion and Lovingkindness

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest supporters Stefanie Elkins and Claire Murphy Jones! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 286 The Three Regrets: Stories from a Buddhist Hospice Chaplain with Tenzin Kiyosaki

kwyattmd

Learn how a former Buddhist nun brought her gentle, compassionate approach to hospice chaplaincy.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Laughter Yoga Webinar mentioned in this episode has been rescheduled for March 10th due to severe weather-related power outages experienced by the presenter. You can still register using the link below.

My guest Tenzin Kiyosaki has been a certified interfaith hospice chaplain for the past 13 years. She also practiced as a Buddhist nun for 27 years after being ordained by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and brings an Eastern perspective to her hospice work. She is the author of the book The Three Regrets: Inspirational Stories of Love and Forgiveness at Life’s End and shares the spiritual wisdom she gathered from her work with dying patients.

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Tenzin was inspired to become a hospice chaplain
  • What Tenzin learned from her Buddhist studies about the end of life
  • What hospice work is always an ongoing learning experience
  • How Western culture avoids the subject of death while Eastern cultures embrace it
  • The failure of Western medicine to accept impermanence
  • What led Tenzin to return her vows and become a lay person once again
  • The role of a chaplain in hospice to find the “heart” of each patient
  • Do chaplains and hospice need different titles to overcome bias in our society?
  • How to help patients who regret a lack of accomplishment in life
  • Helping patients who have not shared enough love during their lives
  • Why regret at the end of life is actually a good sign
  • A Buddhist perspective on medical aid in dying

Links included in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Special Episode: Vigil for Times of Uncertainty

kwyattmd

On the ninth of each month we have been called to hold space in our communities on life, death and transformation by ObservetheNinth.org. Today’s vigil will hold space for love and compassion for all of humankind and for the planet itself. May it bring you peace and comfort.

Vigil for Times of Uncertainty
VIGIL-Script-August-2020Download

EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep.254 A Call for Greater Kindness in a Suffering World

kwyattmd

Three steps for increasing your capacity for kindness in a world that is polarized, divided, and suffering right now.

In this episode I’ll share some poems, stories and philosophical musings about our polarized world, which is filled with suffering, and how we can rise above our difference and our pain to show compassion and kindness to one another.

Listen here:

Featured poem from this episode:

SMALL KINDNESSES 

by Danusha Laméris 

I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk 

down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs 

to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you” 

when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.

And sometimes, when you spill lemons 

from your grocery bag, someone else will help you 

pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other. 

We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, 

and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile 

at them and for them to smile back. 

For the waitress

 to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, 

and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass. 

We have so little of each other, now. So far 

from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. 

What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these 

fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, 

have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.””

— from Healing the Divide: Poems of Kindness and Connection by James Crews, Ted Kooser

Links from this episode:

  • Get the poetry book here: Healing the Divide: Poems of Kindness and Connection
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Special Episode: Vigil for Healing the Brokenness of the World

kwyattmd

On the ninth of each month we have been called to hold space in our communities on life, death and transformation by ObservetheNinth.org. Today’s vigil will hold space for our own broken hearts, broken communities, and broken world. May it bring you peace and comfort.

VIGIL-Script-June-2020Download
EOLPodcast, Spirituality

BONUS 9: Love Over Fear – Stories for Precarious Times

kwyattmd

Welcome to this weekly bonus series of brief stories designed to touch your heart and offer you comfort, joy, laughter, and inspiration as we face uncertain times together! Remember always to choose LOVE over fear!

Story 9: Every Life is Precious

Every Life is Precious

Featured Poem:

Shoulders by Naomi Shihab Nye

A man crosses the street in rain,

stepping gently, looking two times north and south,

because his son is asleep on his shoulder.

No car must splash him.

No car drive too near to his shadow.

This man carries the world’s most sensitive cargo

but he’s not marked.

Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE,

HANDLE WITH CARE.

His ear fills up with breathing.

He hears the hum of a boy’s dream

deep inside him.

We’re not going to be able

to live in this world

if we’re not willing to do what he’s doing

with one another.

The road will only be wide.

The rain will never stop falling.

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 225 How to Make Difficult Times Better as a Death-Aware Person

kwyattmd

Learn what it takes to bring your compassionate presence more fully to others in challenging circumstances.

In this solo episode I discuss how to be a person who makes every situation better simply by being there. Scientific studies have shown that by cultivating greater coherence in the heart’s energy field we can make a positive impact on the people around us who are going through difficulties. I share some tasks to focus on to help develop your own ability to be fully present with a compassionate heart for the good of everyone in our society.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The heart’s electromagnetic field is the most powerful in the body according to the HeartMath Institute
  • Coherence occurs when there is harmony between body, mind, spirit, and emotions
  • Coherent energy from one person helps create calmer energy for other people
  • End-of-life workers can make a big difference for patients and families by increasing the coherence of their own heart energy
  • 5 tasks to make difficult times better:
    • Be willing to show up when things fall apart
    • Be a safe container
    • Be a deep listener
    • Be a truth-teller
    • Be a way-shower

Heart coherence serves as a facilitator, adding strength and effectiveness to your care, compassion, intentions and actions to help the world.

Heartmath Institute

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Raquel Wiltbank-Mateo and Karen Coupe; your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 199 The Wisdom of the Heart: Compassionate Care Training for EOL Doulas with Francesca Arnoldy

kwyattmd

Learn how a training program for end-of-life doulas is preparing a wide variety of students to care for their loved ones with compassion and heart.

PodcastArnoldy

My guest Francesca Arnoldy has trained as both a birth and death doula and continues to guide clients through these passages at the beginning and end of life. She is the developer and program director of the End-of-Life Doula Professional Certificate Program at the University of Vermont that provides training for not only doulas but also other medical providers and lay people in caring for the dying. She is the author of the book Cultivating the Doula Heart: The Essentials of Compassionate Care. Learn about her work at her website:

https://www.contemplativedoula.com

doulaheart

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • Similarities between birth and death
  • The unexpected success of the EOL Doula Certificate Course at the University of Vermont
  • Why the course stresses the importance of doing personal inner work before serving others
  • How the shift in death awareness seems to be accelerating now
  • The difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion
  • Why we need to avoid trying to “fix” others
  • What it means to truly “hold space” for others
  • How the doula program fills a gap in medical care and is being gradually accepted by the medical community in Vermont

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu!

EOLPodcast, Tragedy

Ep. 170 Learn to Pause in Times of Tragedy with Jonathan Bartels RN

kwyattmd

PodcastPause

 

 

JonathanBartels
Jonathan Bartels RN

As an RN in the emergency room, Jonathan Bartels had seen his share of trauma and tragedy and he understood the toll it takes when grief and loss are unacknowledged and stifled. But one day, at the moment of a patient’s death following a failed resuscitation attempt, he received an inspiration to “Pause,” which would soon spread to hospitals around the world. He shares that story with us today.

Learn more about The Medical Pause here.

Other links from this episode:

Being With Dying Training

Schwartz Center for Compassionate Healthcare

Patreon.com/eolu (all donations welcome!!)

Leave a review on iTunes

“Ineffability means to lose words in the experience of the moment. Silence captures the moment more than any words” – Jonathan Bartels

Included in this interview:

  • How Jonathan was inspired to institute the first Medical Pause
  • Why we need to pause in times of tragedy
  • How to implement The Medical Pause in any setting
  • Best practices for The Medical Pause
    • Ask permission of people in attendance
    • Don’t proselytize
    • Allow people to opt out
    • Allow it spread organically rather than as a policy
  • What it takes to start a movement that is changing the healthcare system
    • Timing
    • Willingness to stand up for what’s right
    • Pure and positive motivations to help others
    • Willingness to fail
    • Courage and vision
  • How to “burn brighter rather than burning out”
    • Journal
    • Physical activity
    • Mindfulness
    • Healthy diet
    • Supportive practices

Tune in next week for a new episode! Until then …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready           Love Your Life

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EOLPodcast, Spirituality, Tragedy

Ep. 168 How to Find COMPASSION in Times of Suffering

kwyattmd

 

PodcastCompassion

 

 

buddhafire
Photo credit: @NBCLA

Today I’ll share some thoughts on recent tragedies that have occurred near me this week, the meaning of compassion, and why at times we humans are not able to feel compassion for others when they suffer. Then I’ll share the words that have guided me to experience deeper compassion for many years. Download a copy of the Lovingkindness Blessing below:

Lovingkindness Blessing

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

DDCteachTune in to a series of brief webinars by 5 new teachers of death and dying classes. They share excerpts from their courses that we hope will inspire you to want to teach your own community class based on your knowledge, experience and passion for end-of-life issues. Click here to watch the webinars.

Teach about Death and #ChangetheWorld!

To further your own end-of-life education check out the Integrative Thanatology Certificate Program at the Open Center’s Art of Dying Institute at this link: https://www.opencenter.org/art-of-dying-intergrative-thanatology

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

In this episode I discuss:

  • Why we sometimes react negatively toward others who are suffering rather than with compassion
  • The meaning of the word compassion (“to suffer with”)
  • Why the ego rejects and judges the suffering of others
  • Why we must grow spiritually before we can experience genuine compassion for others
  • The lotus blossom as a symbol of compassion and spiritual growth
  • How the 5 verses of the Lovingkindness Blessing signify the necessary steps toward sharing genuine compassion during times of suffering:
    • May I be at peace
    • May my heart remain open
    • May I realize the beauty of my own true nature
    • May I be healed
    • May I be a source of healing for this world

You can help support this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series in 3 ways (THANK YOU in advance!):

  1. Tell other people about it who might enjoy this content
  2. Leave a review on iTunes
  3. Make a small donation ($1 per month) on my page at Patreon.com/eolu

Until next week …

Face Your Fear          BE Ready         Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 130 How Death Awareness Can Change the World

kwyattmd

Learn about studies that have shown the positive benefits of death awareness and why we need more of it in the world.

PodcastDeathAwareness

DEATHEDforeveryoneIn this episode I share some recent studies that validate the fact that being aware of death has positive effects on behavior toward others. This is evidence that we need more classes, workshops, books, films, and discussion groups about death in order to promote health, peace, tolerance, and compassion in the world.

Read the companion article on Thrive Global here.

Remember you can still sign up for the online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously by clicking here. Join us to read one book about death, dying and the afterlife each month during 2018!

Slide01You can also get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class here if you are interested in teaching a class in your community or for college or high school students. In addition when you sign up for the guidelines you could become part of a work group during the month of  March to create a death and dying class.

Sign up for the guidelines!

THANK YOU to all of you who help support this podcast with your donations on Patreon.com/eolu!!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Kenneth Vail and his colleagues at the University of Missouri recently did a review of several studies on death awareness and behavior. They found that increased death awareness was associated with several positive behaviors that could lead to needed changes in how we live our lives and connect with one another. Here are some of the findings:

  • Helping behaviors increased when people were given subtle reminders of their mortality, such as being near a cemetery. These positive behaviors include compassion, tolerance, empathy and pacifism.
  • Pro-environmental behaviors increased for people with heightened death awareness
  • Positive health behaviors such as quitting smoking, starting an exercise program, and performing breast self-exams increased for people who became aware of death
  • People with fundamentalist religious values who had previously rejected members of other religions were more likely to show compassion toward those of other groups when they experienced greater death awareness

In our world that is currently suffering  with environmental degradation, polarization of society, violence, and unhealthy behaviors perhaps increased death awareness could hold some promise for our survival. Join me in improving death awareness this year by reading books and teaching classes on death and dying!

Tune in every Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content consider leaving a review on iTunes (thank you – it makes a big difference!)

Until next week remember ….

Face Your Fear          BE Ready          Love Your Life

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