Learn about a mission to transform care for dying patients and their loved ones in nursing homes.
My guest Loretta Downs is a Certified End-of-Life Care Practitioner and holds a Masters Degree in Gerontology. She founded Chrysalis End-of-Life Inspirations to advocate for the creation of private rooms in nursing homes and hospitals where families and friends can keep vigil with a loved one who is dying. She’ll discuss her project and share some of the stories that have inspired her work. (NOTE: This is an archived interview from the days before I acquired a professional microphone, so the sound quality is less than desired, but the content is excellent!) Learn more at Loretta’s website:
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand receive free gifts like the “Mind if we talk about death?” mini-poster or Love Your Life sticker or coffee mug. PLUS get our regular bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, occasional movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Marian Head and Jaime Corbin, and to Lynn Mytroen for buying me a coffee! Your contributions make all the difference.
Learn useful tips for caring for a dying loved one at home and how to be better prepared for the challenge.
My special return guest is Barbara Karnes RN, hospice nurse, author, thought leader, and expert on end-of-life care. Barbara is going to be a recurring guest from now on, joining the podcast every other month to talk about hospice care. Today we discuss practical tools that caregivers need in order to care for themselves and their loved ones at the end of life. Barbara has written a new guide for caregivers called By Your Side that offers a tremendous number of resources and practical tips and she’ll share many of them with us today. Learn more about Barbara’s work at her website:
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand receive free gifts like the “Mind if we talk about death?” mini-poster or Love Your Life sticker or coffee mug. PLUS get our regular bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, occasional movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Donna Fleming, and to those who have bought me a coffee and made a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.
Learn about the hospice experience from the perspective of a family member.
My guest Kathleen Vallee Stein worked for the California Department of Aging and has written numerous articles on caring for aging patents for more than twenty years. Her work has been published in the Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Daily News, Pasadena Star-News, Orange County Register, and the Jewish Journal. Recently she has written a book about her family’s experiences as her father faced the end of life called Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing: Why My Family Chose Hospice, and today she’ll share insights from that hospice journey with her father. Learn more at her website:
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.
Learn about the current crisis in family caregiving and what you can do to help.
My guest Dr. Jessica Zitter is a specialist in Critical Care and Palliative Care medicine and the author of the book Extreme Measures: Finding a Better Path to the End of Life. Her work is featured in the documentary Extremis as well as her new film, Caregiver: A Love Story. Today she discusses the current crisis situation for family caregivers who are drastically overworked with little support. This is one of the most important topics we can address for the future! Learn more at these websites:
What inspired Jessica to create Caregiver: A Love Story
How film is a compelling medium for encouraging people to change their behavior
How medical providers are often unaware of the stresses facing family caregivers
More people are now dying at home than in the hospital which means there is huge need for caregivers
1 out of 5 Americans is caring for a loved one at home
The burden experienced by caregivers is physical, mental and financial
We need a workplace culture that supports caregivers
Family caregivers are providing billions of dollars of unpaid work for an average of 4.5 years
Hospitals and doctors are doing a poor job of preparing caregivers for the tasks they will face – The Care Act requires them to provide education (but it’s not happening)
Hospice staffs are also burdened by the caregiver crisis
We also need to build up and support professional paid caregivers
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.
Learn how a “soul companion” for the dying helps ease the fear of death.
My guest Judy Hilyard worked as an ICU nurse during her 47-year career and now serves as an Anam Cara, or “soul friend” to the dying. In addition she also fulfills the role of an Anam Aira by accompanying people through the process of death to “the other side of the Veil.” She shares her experiences and how this work helps free people from the fear of death and resolve their spiritual pain. Judy is the author of Soul Companion: A Memoir which chronicles her training and work on both sides of the veil. Learn more about her work at her website:
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!
Learn how a former Buddhist nun brought her gentle, compassionate approach to hospice chaplaincy.
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Laughter Yoga Webinar mentioned in this episode has been rescheduled for March 10th due to severe weather-related power outages experienced by the presenter. You can still register using the link below.
My guest Tenzin Kiyosaki has been a certified interfaith hospice chaplain for the past 13 years. She also practiced as a Buddhist nun for 27 years after being ordained by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and brings an Eastern perspective to her hospice work. She is the author of the book The Three Regrets: Inspirational Stories of Love and Forgiveness at Life’s End and shares the spiritual wisdom she gathered from her work with dying patients.
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!
Learn about the issues facing hospice care in the US and how the “heart” of hospice is essential for end-of-life care.
My guests today, Helen Bauer RN and Jerry Fenter, are the hosts of the popular podcast The Heart of Hospice. Having worked as a hospice nurse and hospice chaplain, these two are passionate about offering education and support to anyone who needs information about end-of-life care. Their projects include advance care planning, resources for professional and personal caregivers, and consultations with hospices about staff education. Learn more about their work at their website:
The challenge of educating the public and medical professionals about the benefits of hospice care
How COVID-19 is impacting hospice care right now
Other difficulties facing hospice care in the US
Reasons to be hopeful about the future of hospice
Self-care tips for professional and personal caregivers
The importance of memorial services for hospice staff to process grief
Resources available from their website
POEM: Compassion by Miller Williams
"Have compassion for everyone you meet
even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit,
bad manners or cynicism is always a sign
of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen.
You do not know what wars are going on
down there where the spirit meets the bone.”
From - Healing the Divide: Poems of Kindness and Connection -
edited by James Crews
Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!
A doctor learns about death by caring for her husband at the end of his life.
My guest Dr. Martha Calihan has been a practicing physician for over 30 years but she didn’t learn about the end of life until she became a caregiver for her ill husband. She shares how she navigated those challenging days and how being a caregiver made her a better doctor. She is the author of A Death Lived – a memoir of her end-of-life journey with her husband Charles. Learn more at her website:
Join the team atPatreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Molly Oldfield and Lisa Rivera. Your contributions make all the difference!
Learn how hypnosis can help dying patients, their loved ones, and their medical providers find greater ease and less stress as they cope with the end of life.
My guest Roger Moore is a medical hypnotherapist who frequently works with patients at the end of life and their caregivers. He’ll discuss how he utilizes hypnosis to help ease symptoms for his patients and share tools that all of us can use to deal with stress. Learn more about Roger’s work at his website:
Join the team at Patreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Gail Clemson, and Kathy Bates; your contributions make all the difference!
Learn why being present for others is actually a perfect self-care practice.
My return guest Kirsten DeLeo is an international trainer with the Spiritual Care Program and teaches about contemplative caregiving. She is the author of the newly-released book Present through the End and will discuss how and why we should strengthen our own ability to be present with others as part of our spiritual care of the dying. Learn more at Kirsten’s website:
Join the team at Patreon.com/eoluand get access to the EOLU mug: “Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it)
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu,your contributions mean everything to me!
Learn how to make the most of the present moment and give the gift of presence to those you love.
In Part 4 of the Mortal Wisdom Series I’ll discuss how to develop the skill of Presence to use in your personal life and work. Presence is the secret of living fully in every moment and you’ll learn how to enhance your ability to stay focused and present in day-to-day life. These are the lessons we can learn from our mortality and how to thrive in life while knowing that death awaits. Listen to Parts 1, 2, and 3 first if you haven’t heard them yet!
Presence is an essential skill for working with dying patients
Many dying patients seem to have a new-found ability to focus on the present and appreciate each moment
According to Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn presence is the ability to align body, mind, spirit, emotions in a single focus on the here and now
Being fully present with a patient or a loved one allows us to create a sacred space within which healing and transformation can occur
Steps for developing the skill of presence:
Create time (5 minutes) and space for stillness each day
Tune in to your physical body
Breathe deeply with intention
Allow emotions to arise without attaching to them
Let thoughts drift by
Practice total focus during small moments e.g. eating a special food, watching a sunset, listening to music, spending time in nature, being with a loved one
The experience of awe has these benefits
Greater humility (and less ego control)
Increased social harmony and interconnectedness
Improved immune health
Decreased anxiety
Increased wellbeing and happiness
Daily AWE Practice:
I am Awake in this moment
I am Willing to experience and accept whatever life brings in this moment
I am Engaged fully in living my life moment to moment
When someone is about to die, if you sit with him stably and solidly, that alone may be enough to help him leave this life with ease.
Learn how death doulas can benefit both patients and staff when they are added to the hospice interdisciplinary team.
Today I’m sharing an interview with Sherry Majewski who is a hospice-certified LPN who went to become a Certified Death Doula and is now helping her employer create a doula program within the hospice. We talk about the benefits and challenges of adding doulas to the hospice team and why this is an important step forward as we work to improve care for the dying. Learn more about Sherry’s doula services at her website:
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patrons Joanna Lillian Brown, Karin Lindfors, Carol Marangoni, Cathy Clemens, Myra Bennett, and to Mandy Pierpont thank you for increasing your pledge!
Learn the essential aspects of “soul midwifery” from a true pioneer in the field of end-of-life care.
My guest Felicity Warner has been caring for the dying and teaching others to provide care for over 20 years. She shares with us how she found soul midwifery as her calling and the changes she has observed over the past two decades of her work as she has trained hundreds of people to become soul midwives in their own communities. Learn more at her website:
How Felicity first became interested in working with dying patients
A look back at death and dying 20 years ago and the changes that have taken place over time
The greatest challenges we face today in offering quality care to the dying
What Felicity means by the term “soul midwife”
How to prepare in order to be present with the dying
Why listening is the most important skill we can develop in our work
Felicity’s newest book: Sacred Oilsand what we can learn from it
Felicity’s Soul Midwives School and the trainings offered there
Where to get Felicity’s books and how to work with her remotely or in person
A good death is an extraordinary, moving and sacred experience. It can also have a healing quality, not only for the person who is involved but their families, friends and the wider community. (Felicity Warner, Gentle Dying)
If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially Kathleen Rouleau who recently joined the team!
In Part 2 of our series on palliative care I share an interview with Rebekah Riemer a palliative care nurse. She’ll talk about her role on the team and why she decided to specialize in palliative care nursing.
My Spain trip continues this week as I visit more of Andalucia and take in some flamenco dancing. I’ll be returning home in a few weeks but meanwhile check out my photos on Instagram at kwyattmd!
FEATURE PRESENTATION:
In this presentation Rebekah Riemer RN will discuss the role of the nurse on the palliative care team and her own story of being called to work in palliative.
You will learn:
How Beka was introduced to palliative care as a family member of a patient and a patient herself
The typical duties of a palliative care nurse
How palliative care meets the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of patients and their families
The most common misperceptions about palliative care for the public and for healthcare providers
Rebekah “Beka” Riemer, RN, CCRN was an intensive care nurse for over eight years, working in surgical as well as medical ICUs and currently works as the Nurse Coordinator on the Inpatient Palliative Care Team at Providence Little Company of Mary in Torrance, California. She is on the team working towards the recertification of the Joint Commission’s Advanced Certification for Palliative Care. She serves on the Critical Care Committee representing nursing and Palliative Care, as well as on the Ethics Committee and Mortality Committee.
In addition, Ms. Riemer volunteers at the Leukemia Lymphoma Society of America (LLSA), Los Angeles, CA chapter. In 2013, she was 1st runner up for Woman of the Year, as she raised over $50,000 for leukemia/lymphoma research for the LLSA. Ms. Riemer has been an ELNEC-Critical Care faculty member for over five years.
She also spoke at the National Teaching Institute for Critical Care Nurses in 2017, speaking about the importance of integrating Palliative Care in Critical Care settings. She will also be published in the 5th edition of the Oxford Textbook for Palliative Care Nursing in the seventh chapter titled, “ Interdisciplinary Palliative Care Teams: Specialists in Delivering Palliative Care”.
Tune in next Monday for Part 3 of our series on palliative care! If you enjoy this content please share it with others who might find it helpful and consider leaving a review on iTunes!
Learn about a helpful book of stories dealing with death, dying and the end of life and how you can contribute your own story to the next book in the series.
In this episode I present my conversation with the co-editors and co-curators of the book Journey’s End: Death, Dying, and the End of Life – Julie Saeger Nierenberg and Victoria Brewster.
This episode is sponsored by Authentic Presence training for healthcare providers from the Spiritual Care Program. You can receive a certificate in contemplative end-of-life care by completing this series of three courses, including an 8-day residential immersion retreat. Highly recommended!
FEATURE PRESENTATION:
Today Julie Saeger Nierenberg and Victoria Brewster join me to talk about their book Journey’s End: Death, Dying, and the End of Life, which is a compilation of quotes, stories and resources that look at death from various perspectives. In our conversation we discuss:
How Julie and Vikki ended up collaborating on this book
How the stories in the book are organized:
Personal Stories of Professionals and Lay People
Professional Support and Caregiving Perspectives
Funeral Home, Post-Death and Alternative Burial
Grief and Bereavement
How they chose the contributors for the book
The feedback they’ve received from readers
How this book of stories can be useful in many settings for both professionals and lay people
How to submit a story for the next book in the series which will feature various cultural, ethnic and religious perspectives on death and dying
In this episode I share some thoughts about how to get involved in the end-of-life movement if you have recently become interested in death and dying. You’ll hear about my best ideas for contributing to change in the way people die and offering your service to others.
Check out my book to read stories about hospice patients I cared for.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Welcome to our new sponsor: Authentic Presence Training from the Spiritual Care Program. Authentic Presence brings together practical contemplative resources with the knowledge and skills of modern hospice and palliative care. Suitable for professionals from all faith traditions or none, the course draws its inspiration particularly from Buddhist contemplative practice, the acclaimed classic The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, the work of the Dalai Lama, as well as contemplative neuroscience. Learn more here.
Join me and my guest Suzanne O’Brien RN for a free webinar: “EOL Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers” on Tuesday July 24th at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern. Register here and you’ll receive the replay if you can’t attend live.
FEATURE PRESENTATION:
Learn about these opportunities to be of service to the dying in many different capacities:
Work as a professional in hospice or palliative care (call your local hospice/palliative care program to see if you have the credentials needed and to learn about any training offered):
physician
nurse
nurse practitioner
nursing assistant
social worker
chaplain
Become a volunteer – for those with no medical training:
Hospice volunteers are always needed (call your local hospice for more information)
Twilight Brigade – to provide end-of-life support to veterans. Learn more here.
Pet Therapy for Hospice Patients – if you have a special pet and would like to receive training to provide visits to patients. Learn more in this interview.
Seek out other opportunities in your community like Meals on Wheels, hospital or nursing home volunteer programs, church-related visitation programs
Become an End-of-Life Doula – check out the training mentioned above with Suzanne O’Brien and find out if this work is a good fit for you. Learn more here.
Start a caregiver training program – the need for in-home caregivers is going to increase dramatically over the next decade. Consider becoming a caregiver trainer to help your community meet this need.
Teach a death education class – there is currently a great need for education about death and dying in our society. Consider teaching your own class or workshop to provide information to others in your community. Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class here.
Create a Community Event to inspire people to learn more about the end of life:
Start a Social Model Hospice – to provide non-medical residential support and caregiving for those who are without a proper home at the end of life. Listen to the interview here.
Whatever inspires you I hope you will gather your courage and take the next step to get involved in the end-of-life movement. Your help is needed!
There will be a new episode next Monday. If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thank you for your interest and support!
Learn about the life of Cicely Saunders and what we can discover from her quest to change the way that people died.
In this episode, recorded just after the celebration of what would have been Cicely Saunder’s 100th birthday, I talk about how she became interested in caring for the dying, what inspired her to create St. Christopher’s Hospice, and what we can learn from her determination to improve care at the end of life.
Read more about the life and work of Dame Cicely Saunders at:
Thanks as always to my devoted supporters at Patreon.com/eolu who make small contributions each month to keep this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series on the air. I’m so grateful for your financial, emotional and spiritual support!
If you’d like to join A Year of Reading Dangerously, our online reading group for 2018, there’s still time! Check out the reading list here and start reading along with 1,000 other people around the globe!
FEATURE PRESENTATION:
Cicely Saunders first began working with dying patients when she was training to be a nurse in the early 1940’s in London. She went on to become an Almoner (medical social worker) and a volunteer nurse at a hospice for the dying poor where she recognized the great need for better pain management and comfort care at the end of life.
When she was told that the medical system would not be interested in her ideas because she wasn’t a physician she accepted the challenge and went to medical school. One revolutionary contribution to end-of-life care was her concept of “Total Pain,” which included emotional and spiritual pain as well as physical.
As a doctor Cicely received a research grant where she studied pain management and wrote many articles. She took “before and after” photos of each patient so that she could show the transformation that occurred when pain was alleviated. Eventually her dream of creating a hospital dedicated to care of the dying was fulfilled when St. Christopher’s Hospice opened 10 years later.
From her story we can take much inspiration for today’s ongoing struggle to improve care at the end of life:
Follow your heart – Cicely stayed true to her heart and passion throughout her career as she dedicated herself to care of the dying, even when others discouraged her.
Be willing to change course to achieve your dream – Cicely was unable to pursue her original dream of being a nurse after a back injury and shifted to medical social work as a way of continuing her work with dying patients.
Be persistent – Cicely’s determination to do whatever it took to bring her dream to fruition led her to become a doctor.
Patience is essential – Cicely had to wait for many years to see her dream of a hospice become a reality: first while she studied to be a doctor, then did several years of research, and finally raised the funds to build St. Christopher’s. Change rarely happens overnight so stay the course!
Be credible before you can be incredible – Cicely demonstrated this throughout her career as she diligently worked through her own education and her research to gain credibility in the eyes of the medical system she was trying to change
The importance of teamwork – Cicely found likeminded individuals in her community and in the U.S. to sustain her inspiration and her enthusiasm for her goal. We can accomplish more as a team than as individuals.
Flexible models are necessary for optimum care – Cicely resisted standardizing her model of hospice care and instead chose to help others create their own unique solutions for the needs of their communities.
Have a big vision but humble expectations – Cicely sought to change care of the dying across the world with her vision of hospice but was content to make a difference to just one patient at at time.
“If one man from a poor village in India dies without pain because of what I have done, it will all have been worthwhile.” – Dame Cicely Saunders
Today we would be advised to remember her Total Pain concept as we struggle to deal with an opioid crisis in the U.S. Neglecting the contribution of emotional and spiritual pain to physical pain has led to over-reliance on drugs as the answer to suffering.
Happy Birthday Dame Cicely Saunders!
Thank you for inspiring us to carry on your big vision of helping every person find comfort, peace and love at the end of life.
Tune in every Monday for a new episode! If you enjoy this content please share with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Until next week:
Learn how small choirs around the country are bringing beauty and solace to the bedsides of dying patients.
In this episode I share an interview with Kate Munger and Marti Mariette who have helped to spread the “threshold choir” movement across the U.S. and the world. You’ll hear clips of their beautiful singing! Learn more at www.thresholdchoir.org.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
I’m still traveling in Italy and you can keep track of my journey by following me on Instagram (kwyattmd) or Facebook (Karen Wyatt MD). I’m supposed to be getting some research and writing done for my new book on grief … but we’ll see how it goes. I might be just eating my way through the country!
You can support this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series with a small donation of $1 or $2 per month! As a thank-you gift you’ll receive a the Top 10 Interviews from EOLU, a recorded Q&A session each month (where I’ll be answering YOUR questions), and a chance to have me promote your work on this podcast! Learn more at Patreon.com/eolu.
FEATURED PRESENTATION:
Today I welcome my special guests Kate Munger, the founder of the Threshold Choir movement, and Marti Mariette, who is the director of the Santa Cruz Threshold Choir. They will share with us:
How and why Kate started the first Threshold Choir
The benefits of bedside singing for patients and their families
The benefits experienced by the singers themselves
How to start or join a Threshold Choir in your area