EOLPodcast

Ep. 407 Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years with Star Bradbury

Learn some great tips for helping your parents make challenging decisions about their senior years and end of life.

My guest Star Bradbury is an Aging Life Care Specialist and the CEO of Senior Living Strategies. She has helped thousands of families make educated and informed decisions as they navigate the world of senior living and senior healthcare. She is the author of Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years: Critical Information to Maximize Their Independence and Make Sure They Get the Care They Need. She shares tips and advice for helping parents make plans for their elder years, including the end of life, and how this book is a resource for all of us regardless of our age. Learn more at her website:

http://www.starbradbury.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why it’s important to maximize and prolong your parents’ independence
  • Tips for starting difficult conversations with your parents
  • Why confronting the need for change can get harder as we age
  • The benefits of “just in time” senior planning that takes place before a crisis occurs
  • How to navigate the world of senior living options and the best questions to ask when touring a senior care facility
  • Tips for being involved in your parents’ care when you don’t live nearby
  • Why aging in place may not be the best choice for every senior
  • Why “slow medicine” should be considered as part of our end-of-life planning

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest donor Ellen Koski! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 384 People Don’t Die Like They Do in the Movies with Barbara Karnes RN

Learn how to counteract the misinformation about death in modern media and teach people the truth about the natural dying process.

In this episode I welcome back my recurring guest Barbara Karnes who is a hospice nurse, international speaker, and author of the books Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience and By Your Side: A Guide for Caring for the Dying at Home. We discuss her slogan “People don’t die like they do in the movies” and how popular media, including television, film and books, provide misleading and inaccurate portrayals of the dying process. Learn how to get a T-shirt with the slogan on her website:

www.bkbooks.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How movies and television programs misinform people about death and dying
  • The consequences of inaccurate portrayals of the end of life in popular media
  • What the natural dying process actually looks like
  • The “work” of dying and how to support a person in the process
  • Why we can’t expect a dying loved one to do or say something to support us
  • How a person’s breathing changes before death
  • Preparation for the dying process helps loved one be more present at the bedside
  • How CPR is depicted in medical TV shows as a miracle procedure that works most of the time
  • The actual facts about CPR
  • Confusion in advance care planning due to misinformation
  • Choosing the right healthcare proxy

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Sharon Patterson! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 379 Honoring Choices: A Film to Inspire End-of-Life Planning with Elizabeth Coplan and Halle Williams

Learn about a short film that was created to encourage people to plan for and have conversations about the end of life.

In this episode I welcome two guests to discuss the short film Honoring Choices that is a powerful tool for persuading people to plan for and talk about the end of life. Elizabeth Coplan is the founder of Grief Dialogues and the creator of the stage play Honoring Choices that ultimately became the film we are featuring. Halle Williams is the marketing director for both Grief Dialogues and Honoring Choices and the co-host of Out of Grief Comes Art Podcast along with Elizabeth. Learn more about their work at the website:

www.griefdialogues.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired the creation of the film Honoring Choices
  • The true story behind the film
  • What Elizabeth and Halle hope the film will accomplish
  • The serious racial disparity in completing advance directives and how the film helps address this issue
  • The power of storytelling and how the film uses story to teach
  • The premiere of Honoring Choices at the Reimagine Festival in LA
  • How to use the film for teaching for hospices, hospitals, schools, churches
  • How to sponsor a screening of the film
  • Inspiration for the podcast Out of Grief Comes Art

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patron Maggie Dial! Your contribution makes all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 372 Creating a Spiritual Care Directive with Rhonda LoPresti

Learn about the importance of having a directive to let others know about your spiritual wishes at the end of life, even if you are not religious or spiritual.

My guest Rhonda LoPresti is an end-of-life coach, home funeral guide and longtime practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism. She has created a Spiritual Care Directive for Buddhists and also a Universal Spiritual Care Directive to guide people in expressing their spiritual wishes at the end of life. Rhonda offers a 9-week course called “Writing Your Spiritual Care Directive–A Buddhist Plan for the Time of Dying” and she shares why it’s important to plan ahead for our spiritual care at life’s end. Learn more at her website:

www.peacefullyprepared.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Rhonda became interested in working as an end-of-life coach and home funeral guide
  • What is a Spiritual Care Directive and why is it important
  • Why people who do not consider themselves religious or spiritual still need to consider their spiritual wishes at the end of life
  • Components of a spiritual care directive (for Buddhists and non-Buddhists)
  • Why a spiritual advocate is helpful at the end of life
  • Why some people may prefer not to be touched during the active dying process
  • What a “goodbye ceremony” might consist of
  • Why create a “spiritual will”

Planning is an act of kindness.”

Rhonda LoPresti

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Volunteer Hospice of Clallam County Soul Care Speaker Series October 12th at Noon Pacific: Register here
  • DDNBC Workshop with Barbara Karnes and Karen Wyatt October 13th at 6:30 pm Pacific: Register here
  • Contact Rhonda for a free copy of the Spiritual Care Directive: rhonda@peacefully-prepared.com

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Laura Sue Cleminson, Nancy R. and Charlotte VanVactor, and to Athena Berens for making a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 371 Complicated Decisions in the ICU with Travis Rieder

Learn how a bioethicist found himself in a decision-making dilemma after his own father suffered a healthcare crisis and was on a ventilator in the ICU.

My guest Travis Rieder is a bioethicist and the director of the Master of Bioethics degree program at the Johns Hopkins Berman Institute of Bioethics. He is also an author and TED Talk speaker who recently penned an article titled “A Father’s Wish, A Bioethicist’s Dilemma.” He shares the dilemma he faced as a healthcare proxy for his father during a dire health crisis, which sheds light on the challenges of making the best decisions in the moment when the outcome is uncertain. Learn more about his writing at his website:

www.travisrieder.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What bioethicists do and how Travis was attracted to this field
  • What is “preventable catastrophe” and how that concept informs his work
  • Bioethical challenges during the pandemic
  • The personal dilemma he faced when his father was in the ICU
  • The importance of clear communication during a health crisis
  • Why knowing your loved one’s wishes may not always lead to easy decision-making
  • How to make the best decisions even when information is limited
  • How this experience changed what Travis teaches his bioethics students

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Volunteer Hospice of Clallam County Soul Care Speaker Series October 12th at Noon Pacific: Register here
  • DDNBC Workshop with Barbara Karnes and Karen Wyatt October 13th at 6:30 pm Pacific: Register here
  • Travis Rieder’s Article: A Father’s Wish, a Bioethicist’s Dilemma”

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, and to Binta Sumareh for making a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 300 Training EOL Educators to Change the World with Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar

Learn why and how to become an EOL Educator through a new program offered by WillowEOL.

My guests Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar are co-founders of Willow End of Life Education and Planning and co-authors of 7 Tools for Making Sense of Life & Death, the workbook and the self-study online program. They have also created the Willow EOL Educator™ Program, which we discuss in this interview. They share the importance of providing education to both the public and healthcare providers in order to change the way we manage the end of life and to find the greatest meaning in life. They are offering a $200 discount to their EOL Educator™ Program for listeners who sign up before the end of May 2021. Learn more and sign up with the coupon code EOLU200 at this link:

educators.willoweol.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How COVID accelerated the development of the EOL Educators Program
  • Why EOL education is so important right now
  • What inspired Michelle and Reena to create this program
  • Who can benefit from becoming a Willow EOL Educator
  • What the program includes
  • How participants can tailor their own workshops using Willow’s materials
  • How this program augments other training programs and does not compete or preclude any other system

To change the world we need a global network of heart-centred, end-of-life educators.”

Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 283 Reshaping the Future of Advance Care Planning with Patty Burgess, Fred Mirarchi MD and Sheila Schultz

Learn about video advance directives and how to get involved in this game-changing innovation for the future of advance care planning.

In this episode I host three guests – Patty Burgess, Dr. Fred Mirarchi, and Sheila Schultz – who have partnered together to create MIDEO University, the only organization to train and certify Advance Care Planning Educators (ACPE’s) in every community. They share how MIDEO’s video advance directives are revolutionizing end-of-life and emergency care in hospitals and how they are training doulas, advance care planners and other healthcare professionals to become paid educators using the MIDEO approach. Learn more at their website:

www.YourVoiceDirectives.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What MIDEO is and why Dr. Mirarchi was inspired to create a video advance directive
  • How Patty and Sheila became inspired to partner with Dr. Mirarchi to create an educational program for end-of-life doulas and other healthcare professionals
  • How MIDEO works and what differentiates it from other advance directives
  • How certification as an ACPE can benefit an end-of-life doula professionally
  • Why advance care planning should not focus solely on end-of-life scenarios
  • Why video directives are important during this time of the COVID pandemic
  • How an ACPE can benefit primary care health providers in their work with patients
  • How to participate in MIDEO University and become certified as an ACPE

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 262 Vital Decisions: Innovations for Advance Care Planning with Tracy Brubaker

Learn how an innovative company is contracting with insurers to educate patients about decision-making around advanced illnesses.

My guest Tracy Brubaker is the COO of Vital Decisions, a company founded by Dr. Jessica Zitter to focus on changing the way people with advanced illness receive care by encouraging advance care planning. She shares how Vital Decisions contracts with insurers to provide education and counseling to their clients and the impact they are having on end-of-life care. Learn more about Vital Decisions at the website:

www.vitaldecisions.net

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired the creation of Vital Decisions
  • How Vital Decisions works with insurers to educate their clients and guide them through advance care planning at no cost to the patient
  • Why Vital Decisions chooses Masters level clinicians as their team members
  • How team members initiate and structure conversations about end-of-life issues
  • The two most common motivations for people to decide to complete their advance directives
  • 60-70% of Vital Decisions clients complete their paperwork and have conversations with the important people in their lives
  • Benefits to patients and insurers: fewer inpatient and ER visits, less unwanted aggressive treatment, and lower costs at end of life
  • How the My Living Voice program helps healthy individuals easily complete an advance directive online at no cost
  • How the Guided Living Voice program educates patients and their families about palliative care

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 249 Improving Advance Directives by Using Video Technology with Fred Mirarchi MD

Learn how video tech is revolutionizing advance directives and about special training for death doulas to become ACP educators.

My guest Dr. Fred Mirarchi is an emergency medicine physician and the principal investigator of the TRIAD Research Series (The Realistic Interpretation of Advance Directives.) He’ll discuss how his research has confirmed that there is a nationwide patient safety risk due to confusion surrounding living wills, DNR and POLST orders. We will also talk about MIDEO, which is a video advance directive and physician’s medical order that improves both the quality and safety of advance care planning, AND his initiative to provide doulas with training to become ACP educators. Learn more at these websites:

www.mideocard.com

www.institutehcd.com

Listen here:

Improving Advance Directives by Using Video Technology

This episode includes:

  • Significant problems with living wills and POLST orders revealed by TRIAD research
    • poorly understood by patients
    • misinterpreted by healthcare workers
    • forms not properly completed
  • Poor communication and lack of education create problems with advance care planning
  • “Effective” living will document differs from “Active” living will, which is triggered by a terminal event
  • Why video is more effective than a paper form for documenting patient wishes
  • How MIDEO works for creating video directives
  • Training physicians, doulas and other healthcare providers to help patients create video directives
  • How COVID-19 is currently affecting advance care planning
  • Moral injury is occurring for healthcare providers making difficult decisions during COVID-19

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Get the book here: 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying
  • Doula training program on ACP and MIDEO
  • Learn about MIDEO here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patron: Marnie McCourty. Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 242 Death Care at Home and at a Distance for Families and EOL Doulas with Merilynne Rush

Learn about important resources for caring for loved ones and patients at home and far away.

My guest Merilynne Rush is a former hospice nurse who now practices as an End-of-Life Doula mentor, Home Funeral Guide, Green Burial Educator, Death Cafe host and more. Merilynne joins me today to talk about safe practices for home funerals during the COVID-19 pandemic, how to stay connected to our ill and dying loved ones, and she offers many resources for eol doulas at a distance, as well. Learn more at her website:

www.thedyingyear.org

Listen here:

Death Care at Home and at a Distance

This episode includes:

  • What a home funeral consists of and why consider one now
  • Home funeral resources:
  • How to conduct a safe home funeral during the COVID-19 pandemic
  • The option of live-streaming Virtual Wakes, Visitations, or Funerals
  • Tips for staying connected to our loved ones at a distance
    • Legacy projects
    • Leave written instructions for distributing possessions after death
    • Voice recording of messages for loved ones
    • Window visit
    • Technology
  • Why early hospice admissions are important for hospital and long-term care patients
  • Tips for EOL Doulas to stay in touch with patients when visits aren’t possible (download handout below)
  • Why Advance Care Planning is essential right now
  • Advance Care Planning facilitator training

Other links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 239 Rethinking Advance Directives in the Time of Coronavirus

Learn why it is important right now to revisit your own advance directives and those of your loved ones.

In this solo episode I share some resources for surviving and thriving during the coronavirus quarantine. Then I discuss some important issues to consider regarding your own advance directives and those of your loved ones as we face a medical crisis that is unprecedented in our lifetimes. This is a difficult conversation to have but one that is of utmost importance right now. Thanks for tuning in and spending some of your time with me! Take good care of yourselves this week! 💖

Listen here:

Rethinking Advance Directives

This episode includes:

  • Tips for surviving quarantine:
    • Walk every day
    • Connect with nature
    • Spend time alone in contemplation or meditation
    • Bring beauty into your life (art, music, poetry, literature, film)
    • Connect with friends and loved ones
    • Be kind to others and yourself
  • Journal prompt for this week: Write a story about a time in your life when you feel you were at your best or you acted from your highest self. Describe the event in detail as best you can remember it. Then make a list of the best qualities you exhibited on that day. Reread the story throughout the week and add to you list as you recognize other positive qualities. Or write more stories as you recall them.
  • Make sure your elderly loved ones have advance directives (including POLST forms) and make sure you understand their wishes
  • If you are a healthcare proxy for a loved one make sure you are prepared to carry out their wishes, particularly if they choose comfort care only
  • Think of creative ways to connect with a loved one who may be in isolation – (e.g. an iPad + Skype)
  • Be prepared that you may not be able to be at the bedside of a hospitalized loved one with coronavirus
  • Rethink your own advance directive regarding mechanical ventilation, since ventilation is part of the treatment for this virus

This is a remarkable time, when washing our hands and staying at home are radical acts of global compassion and service.

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 203 Do Not Resuscitate: Changing the Culture Around the DNR Order with Frances Myers

Learn how one woman managed to change resuscitation protocols for emergency responders to decrease the incidence of unwanted CPR.

PodcastMyers

My guest Fran Myers is a healthcare consultant and the founder of the Center for Advance Care Planning. She will share how she investigated protocols for CPR that guide EMS first responders and discovered that they didn’t align with the statutes of the state of Colorado. Her success in changing the protocols is a story that will hopefully inspire people in other  states to take up the same work to ensure that patients receive the care they want at the end of life. Read more about Fran’s work at her website:

http://centerforadvancecareplanning.org

Myersadvance_care_packet_400x223

Learn about the Advance Directives Portfolio here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • What the public misperceives about CPR and where that mistaken idea comes from
  • Many people still receive unwanted CPR at the time of death in hospitals and nursing homes
  • Why paperwork is often disregarded by first responders in the field during a medical crisis
  • How EMS protocols foster the provision of CPR as a default treatment regardless of the wishes of patients and family members
  • How Fran went about getting the protocols changed in Colorado to allow first responders to withhold CPR when appropriate
  • Advice for people in other states who want to change the protocols in their area
  • How to access the Advance Directive Portfolio for your state of residence

We never say much as we frantically try to save the life we know we can’t save or perhaps silently hope we don’t save. When it’s finally over and the last heart beat blips across the screen and we survey the clutter of bloody gloves, wrappers, masks and needles that now litter the room, you may catch a glimpse as we bow our heads in shame, fearful perhaps that someday we may have to stand in front of God as he looks down upon us and says, “what in the hell were you thinking?”  – Dr. Louis Profeta – Emergency Room Physician

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu – your contributions mean everything to me!

 

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 171 The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family This Holiday Season

Learn how planning ahead and being ready for the unexpected can be a special gift for your loved ones this year.

PodcastEOLplans

 

During the holidays we all want to find the perfect gift for our family members that will show them our love and bring joy to their lives. But face it … in this age of consumerism most people already have more possessions than they need and we have sadly littered our planet with excessive material goods that no one wants or can use. Here’s an idea for a gift you can give now that will bring peace of mind and relief to your loved ones some day in the future: plan ahead for the end of your life, gather your most important documents, and have a conversation with the people closest to you about your wishes. 

Download the Checklist for this episode here: 

BE Ready

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Support this podcast on Patreon.com/eolu with a small monthly contribution. Thank you to my latest patron Jensen A! Your generosity is much appreciated!

View the latest webinar with Jane Barton: Collaborative Care for Caregivers – How to Ask for Help at this link:

Collaborative Care Webinar

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Creating an end-of-life file that contains all of your most important documents along with your wishes for healthcare and after-death care is a task that will benefit you as well as your loved ones in the future. You will be saving them from a great deal of stress and frustration if they won’t have to search for your papers or guess what you might want for yourself  when you reach the end of life. Why not use the holiday season as a motivator to complete your file and offer as a gift of love to your family!

This episode includes:

  • Ideas for storing your documents
  • Why it’s important to gather important information in one place so your loved ones can find it
  • Why you need to complete your advance directive (or living will) and choose a healthcare proxy now rather than later
  • The benefits of planning your funeral and burial in advance
  • How to view end-of-life planning as a gift of love for those who care about you

Links mentioned in this episode:

Tune in next Monday for another new episode. If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next time …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready           Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 155 Writing Your Heart Will on a Mexican Retreat with Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante

Learn how to leave a written legacy for your loved ones and enjoy a retreat in Mexico in the process!

PodcastLazarPante

 

Michelle-ReenaIn this episode I share a conversation with  Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar of Willow, a company that helps people express their personal and healthcare wishes for the future and leave a legacy of the heart for the ones they love. They will share their stories and tell us about an innovative retreat to Mexico they are planning this year – just in time for Dia de los Muertos!

Learn more at willoweol.com!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join our online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’re interested in reading a book each month about death, dying and the afterlife. Register here if you want to receive email notifications each month about the latest book selection. Go here to see the entire book list for 2018.

Thanks as always to my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your monthly donations help keep this podcast and the EOLU interview series on the air. This week my thanks goes out to Suzanne O’Brien and Doulagivers.com for their ongoing support over the past year-and-a-half. If you’d like to join our team sign up at Patreon.com/eolu and receive special bonuses.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Today my guests Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar tell us how they started their company Willow and the services they provide to their clients. We talk about:

  • How the two of them decided to team up and create a vision together
  • How Reena uses her conflict resolution training in the work she does now helping people with end-of-life planning
  • Why they chose the name Willow for their company
  • What are “love letters” and “heart wills” and why they encourage people to create them
  • Tips for writing your own heart will
  • Details of the upcoming retreat in Mexico that includes a celebration of the Day of the Dead (you can still get the “early bird” discount of $200 off the price of the retreat if you sign up by August 20th and use the code EOLU)

Learn more about Reena, Michelle and Willow at willoweol.com!

Remember there will be a new episode every Monday – if you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

karen-signature

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 139 The One Question You Need to Answer to Jumpstart Your EOL Planning

Learn how answering just one question can simplify your decision-making process for end-of-life planning.

PodcastEOLquestion

slide01In this episode I’ll share how one simple question helped clarify my Mom’s end-of-life wishes and why I recommend starting there to put your own advance care planning into the proper perspective. This episode is sponsored by my course “Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning.

Learn more about the course here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join my online reading group for 2018 “A Year of Reading Dangerously” and read a book each month on death, dying and the afterlife. Sign up here.

Thank you to all of my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your donations mean a lot to me!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Putting our wishes for the end of life into writing is more complicated than it seems. We can easily get lost when we start to consider all of the options available and make decisions about what we do or do not want for care during out last days.

When my mother was trying to complete her living we finally found a simple way to clarify what really mattered to her. I asked her to tell me how she wanted it to be when she was taking her last breaths in this life. And she answered right away: “I want to be in my own home with you taking care of me.”

That one question changed everything for us and her answer guided all of the decisions that we made together as a family for the next five years before her death. I have spent time thinking about the one question myself and it is clear to me that the only thing that will really matter to me when I am ready to die is love. I will want to be as near as possible to the people I love.

You can use this one question too:

  • Imagine your last moments of life: how do you want it to be?
  • Describe what you see in positive terms first: Who is with you? Where are you?
  • Keep it simple to avoid being overwhelmed. Just a few details are all you need to describe.
  • Finally add your 2-3 absolute DO-NOT’s to the picture. What do you definitely NOT want to have happen during your last moments? Again – limit the number to those things you feel strongest about. Your family will remember 2-3 requests but not 10-12.

Start talking now about your positive vision for your final moments and let your family know what you envision. When you engage them in your vision they are more likely to help  you create it. They will have had time to think about your vision and to imagine themselves being part of it.

No matter what start thinking about the end of life now. It’s never too soon to get your plans in order! Consider signing up for the Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning if you’d like to have a doctor by your side as you make decisions for yourself!

Other related episodes you might like to hear:

Ep. 105: Choosing the Right Healthcare Proxy

Ep. 103: The Truth About CPR: Exposing the Myths

Ep. 81: Let’s Talk About It: The Conversation Project with Dr. Jessica McCannon

Remember there will be a new episode next Monday! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes (Thanks!!).

Until next time …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready             Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 136 Art and Conversations About Death with Molly Stuart

Learn about Molly’s innovative workshops on end-of-life planning that utilize art projects to inspire deep conversations.

PodcastStuart

MollyIn this episode I share an interview with Molly Stuart who is a lawyer, artist, chaplain and hospice volunteer. She teaches a wonderful workshop on end-of-life planning that includes art to help people uncover their deepest values and concerns.

Learn more about Molly’s work here.

Watch this episode on YouTube to view Molly’s slides:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

decisionsignThe month of April features National Healthcare Decisions Day and in honor of that event I am sharing the 10-day S.M.A.R.T. Decisions Challenge – a free challenge that will help you get your end-of-life planning done with guidance along the way by email.

Click here to learn more and sign up.

 

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’d like to read one book a month with us about death and dying! Sign up here.

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the list to hear about upcoming Work Groups and a Mastermind Group for Death and Dying Class teachers. Download the guidelines here.

 

Thank you to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Kathy Lynch and thanks also to Cathy Duke for increasing your pledge! I’m so grateful for your contributions!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest Molly Stuart shares information about her innovative end-of-life planning workshops. We discuss:

  • How she got interested in teaching about end of life issues
  • The complicated nature of advance care planning
  • The 3-part workshop she designed, which includes:
    • Practical end-of-life medical and legal issues
    • Emotional aspects of living while knowing you’re going to die
    • Transformation and legacy
  • How Molly uses art to address:
    • Loss
    • Meaning
    • Regret
    • Legacy
  • The creative projects her students create as part of her workshops
  • How to create a legacy art project after the death of a loved one

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready            Love Your Life

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Aging, End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 135 How to Practice Minimalism at the End of Life

Learn how a minimalist lifestyle can help you find more joy and meaning as you approach the later days of life.

podcastminimalism

minimalistIn this episode I share my thoughts on why the minimalist lifestyle could help us avoid excessive and unnecessary medical treatment at the end of life. In addition there are many other benefits to living simply and with “less is more” as our goal when we get older.

Read the companion blog here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join A Year of Reading Dangerously and confront your own discomfort about death, dying and the afterlife by reading one “dangerous” book each month in 2018! Sign up here!

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the mailing list to learn about the next class on creating your own course in death and dying coming up soon! Sign up and download here!

 

I’m so grateful this week to my latest supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Thank you so much to Glenda Myles, Malynda Cress, Karen Britton, Mila Martin, and Tami Yinger! Your generosity means so much to me! If you want to join them go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more about the bonuses you’ll receive for signing up!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

The minimalist movement is all the rage right now among millennials and it has a lot of positive aspects we can learn from. The emphasis is on living simply, with less material possessions in order to have more joy and freedom in life. This lifestyle could serve us well as we approach our own end of life. Here are some ways to live more simply:

  • Clear out possessions that you no longer use or cherish. This idea has been described in a recent blog and book about the Swedish practice of “death-cleaning.”
  • Comes to terms with mortality. Recognize that life is finite and death is inevitable, therefore it is important to be intentional about how you live each moment in every day, including what kind of healthcare you choose.
  • Take control over your healthcare – be proactive and question recommendations in these areas:
    • Medications – Ask if the drugs you are taking are still necessary, if they could be causing side effects or creating negative interactions with one another. Ask if you can try reducing dosages or the number of medications you are being prescribed. Many seniors are taking at least 5 prescription medications according to studies.
    • Annual examstudies show that the annual physical exam wastes money and time and might even be harmful. Ask if you can decrease to one physical every 3 yeats.
    • Health screenings – Over age 70 it is no longer recommended that you have the following screening tests: colonoscopy, mammogram, PSA, pap smear. Studies show that excessive screening can lead to false positive results, over-diagnosis and harmful over-treatment.
  • Plan ahead and be prepared in order to minimize complications in these areas:
    • Aging – How will you manage the physical changes of later life? Who will help you?
    • Housing – Where will you live if you can’t stay in your own home?
    • Terminal care – What type of treatment do you want to receive at the end of life and for how long?
    • After-death care – What type of funeral and burial do you want to have?
  • Learn to live in the moment – so you can enjoy all of life.
  • Focus on what really matters – to help you eliminate the things you no longer care about.
  • Find purpose and meaning by living simply and with intention for the rest of your days.

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode! If you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next week remember …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready          Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 128 Why We Need Death Education for Everyone Right Now

Learn why the Death Education movement is vitally important right now for our society and get inspired to teach your own class about death and dying!

PodcastDeathEd

DEATHEDforeveryoneThis week I’m continuing my focus on death education by discussing some important reasons why right now we desperately need more death-ed in every aspect of our society. Learn how you might become a death educator in your own community and start to share your knowledge to help others become aware of death.

Slide01

 

Click here to get your free Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class to help you create your own class!

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

You can still join A Year of Reading Dangerously and start reading books about death and dying with 700 other people around the globe! You’ll get to take part in live Q&A discussions with the authors of many of the books we are reading. For February we are reading Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty–and she’ll be joining our discussion at the end of the month! Sign up now by clicking here!

Thanks again to all of my supporters at Patreon.com/eolu! Your generosity and encouragement mean everything to me! Become a patron for as little as $1 per month–where else can you do so much good with just $1? Go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Today I’m discussing why we need death education everywhere in our society and here are some of the places where it should take place:

  • Home – parents need to learn how to talk about death and dying with their children rather than shielding them from the reality of death
  • Schools – high school and college classes are a perfect place to introduce death and dying to young, curious students who can only benefit from learning more about death. (Next week I’ll share an interview on this podcast with Stacy Smith who teaches The Psychology of Death & Dying to college students, and on EOLU at the end of February I’ll present an interview about a high school elective on Death and the Meaning of Life with the teacher and 3 of his students.
  • Churches – clergy of all faiths need to be educated about death and dying so that they can better support their congregants on end-of-life issues within their belief system
  • Workplaces – employers need to understand the impact of death and grief on their employees in order to create supportive policies for bereavement leave; workers need to know how to interact with co-workers who are suffering with illness and grief
  • Medical system – doctors, nurses, and all other providers of healthcare need education in how to get comfortable with death, talk about it with patients and families, guide decision-making, initiate conversations with patients
  • Hospitals and nursing homes – need education to create sacred spaces for dying, to support patients and families at the end of life and honor patients’ wishes

Some of the reasons why death education is so important right now are:

  • We are living longer and the incidence of complex diseases like Alzheimer’s is increasing which creates a need for better advance planning. Patients and families need to prepare for the type of medical care and caregiving that may become necessary and understand how they can provide for those possibilities in the future.
  • Medical technology continues to advance at a rapid rate. Our ability to forestall death and keep a body alive has far outstripped our willingness to grapple with difficult end-of-life decisions. We need education to help people plan and prepare for the future and be pro-active about the care they receive. Studies show that those who think and talk about death are more likely to put their wishes in writing, to talk with others about their wishes, and to stop medical treatment when it is no longer helping.
  • Ethical and moral dilemmas about end-of-life issues are splitting our society and families. Debates over physician-assisted dying and discontinuing medical care when it is not helping are going to increase with the aging of the Baby Boom generation. According to Pew Research Center surveys: 47% of Americans favor assisted-dying laws and 49% are opposed; 66% believe that there are times when doctors should stop treatment and allow patients to die a natural death, but 31% believe that doctors should always do everything possible to prolong life. These opposing perspectives are likely to be present in families too, especially if no advance planning has been done.
  • The high cost of being unprepared for death. Lack of advance care planning can lead to higher medical expenses, especially if the patient receive extreme care that was not actually warranted or wanted. Families unprepared for funeral planning are more likely to choose higher cost options and be vulnerable to unscrupulous marketing practices when they are grieving. Failure to plan ahead and put wishes in writing can cause increased stress and guilt for family members who must make decisions without any guidance.
  • The emotional and spiritual cost of ignoring death. As described in episode 127, death is our greatest teacher about life. Those who fail to recognize the inevitability of death are less likely to live to the fullest and appreciate the moment because they think they have plenty of time.

If you care about any of these issues and have been learning about death and dying by listening to this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series, you are the perfect person to become a “death educator.” Start by sharing what you’ve learned with family and friends and consider putting together your own class in your community to help educate others. 

Slide01You can download my free pdf: Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and get some tips and tactics for starting your own community death-ed class! When you download the handout you’ll receive an invitation to a special work group I’m putting together in March on brainstorming your class.

Click here to get the guidelines!

 

Stay tuned to future episodes of this podcast to get more information about death education: next week I’ll share an interview with Stacy Smith about teaching college students about death and dying. On February 22nd I’ll present an interview on End-of-Life University with the teacher and students from a high school death-ed elective.

I hope you feel inspired to become a “death educator” in whatever capacity suits you, whether you simply share your knowledge with family and friends or start a class in your community!

If you enjoy this podcast please consider leaving a review on iTunes – it will be greatly appreciated!

Until next week remember:

Face Your Fear          BE Ready           Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 125 How to Have a Peaceful Death

Learn some steps you can take NOW to ensure that you will be at peace when you reach the end of life.

PodcastPeacefulDeath

momThis week I’m sharing with you my reflections on what it takes to be at peace when you die. I just observed the 5th anniversary of my Mom’s death and I was inspired to create this podcast by thinking about the peace she experienced at the time of her death and how she was able to achieve that! 

Read the companion blog on this subject here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Join A Year of Reading Dangerously and read fantastic books about death and dying all through 2018! Learn more and sign up here.

Thanks to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Cheryl Durden! Your contribution to this podcast and to the End-of-Life University Interview Series is greatly appreciated!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

After writing a blog this week called “Why Some People Don’t Die in Peace” I decided that I should go further and address HOW to actually be more at peace when the end of life arrives. So here are my thoughts! These are all things to start working on now in order to be at peace in the end:

PHYSICAL:

  • Plan ahead for your time of dying: What type of care do you want to receive? Where do you want to be when you die?
  • Appoint a reliable healthcare proxy to speak on your behalf
  • Create advance directives and talk about them with everyone (family, medical providers, clergy, friends, attorney)
  • Do “death-cleaning” by giving away all the things you don’t need any more
  • Think about where you will live and who will take care of you if you are unable to care for yourself. How have you provided for these possibilities
  • Make note of all of your preparations along with all of your financial and ownership information. Make sure this is accessible to family members who may need this information in the future.
  • Plan ahead for your funeral and burial

MENTAL:

  • Prepare yourself for death by reading and learning what happens at the end of life
  • Participate in a Death Cafe to have conversations about death
  • Watch films about the end of life (like “Extremis” on Netflix)
  • Attend workshops, classes, lectures in your community about death and dying

EMOTIONAL:

  • Get your emotional “house in order” by reviewing your unfinished business – who do you need to forgive? What unhealed wounds are you carrying?
  • Work on practicing forgiveness now
  • Let go of old resentments
  • Make amends for your own errors in the past

SPIRITUAL:

  • Find meaning in life, no matter how difficult the circumstances of your life
  • Learn to live every moment and find joy and love wherever you go
  • Figure out what really matters to you and make sure you are living that every day
  • Face your fear of death to help you overcome all fears in your life and live with more joy

Thanks for supporting EOLU! I appreciate your listening – if you enjoy this content please leave a review on iTunes. Tune in next week for another fascinating episode!

Until then …

Face Your Fear              BE Ready               Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast, Hospice

Ep. 123 Goals and Wishes for 2018: Let’s “Be Good at Death”

Hear my far-reaching dreams and ideas for changing the way people die in the U.S. in 2018.

PodcastWishes18

goals2018In this episode I talk about some of my own personal goals for the New Year and then discuss a list of ideas for ways in which we need to improve all aspects of the end of life. Get some inspiration for steps you can take within your own community and in your own personal life to “Be Good at Death.”

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
A Year of Reading

I’ve started a new year-long reading group called A Year of Reading Dangerously for 2018! We’ll be exploring death and the afterlife through books that hopefully will inspire us and stretch our boundaries. Sign up to receive a monthly email with the book selection for the month and a downloadable reader’s discussion guide. Join the fun!

Sign up here.

A HUGE thank-you to my latest supporters: Claire Turner and Dr. Leslie Robinson. Your contribution is greatly appreciated as it helps defray the costs of producing and broadcasting this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series, but it also provides me with much-needed emotional and spiritual support! To donate as little as $1 per month go to Patreon.com/eolu.

There is a new pledge level on Patreon-the Platinum level-where for a donation of $5 per month you’ll receive replays of ALL of the End-of-Life University Interviews for 2018. So check it out now!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

What we need to do to “Be Good at Death” in 2018″:

  1. Policy Level changes needed:
    1. Improve reimbursement for Palliative Care
    2. Stabilize and improve reimbursement for Hospice Care
    3. Establish a system for paying family caregivers
  2. Medical System changes needed
    1. Integrate Palliative Care into Primary Care and therefore …
    2. Increase home-based palliative services
    3. Rank hospitals according to the quality of end-of-life care provided (based on an article by Dr. Haider Warraich from Duke University). Dr. Warraich’s criteria for this ranking include:
      1. “percentage of patients with a documented health care proxy
      2. percentage of patients who receive heroic measures like cardiopulmonary resuscitation or cardiac defibrillation
      3. appropriate use of hospice and palliative care
      4. the likelihood of a family recommending the hospital for end-of-life care
      5. whether patients’ location of death was concordant with the place in which they had wanted to die
      6. availability of around-the-clock spiritual resources
      7. the training the medical team receives for dealing with the medical and psychosocial issues that arise when death is imminent”   ((Thank you Dr. Warraich for this fabulous idea!))
  3. Medical Education changes needed
    1. Train all medical providers in palliative care (at least a one-month rotation) regardless of specialty
    2. All medical students work with dying patients in at least one rotation
    3. Teach better conversational and listening skills to medical providers
    4. Help medical providers process their own fears and biases toward death and their repressed grief
  4. Community changes needed
    1. Create adjuncts to hospice care:
      1. Non-medical social hospices
      2. All-volunteer non-medical hospice services
      3. Hospices train volunteer death doulas to augment the care currently being provided
    2. Establish Caregiver Education programs in the community
    3. Create a No One Dies Alone program in hospitals and nursing facilities
    4. Improve community education about death and dying through:
      1. Death Cafes
      2. Book clubs
      3. Workshops
      4. Advance Directive courses
      5. Death and Dying classes for high schools, colleges and universities
  5. Individual changes needed:
    1. Continually work on our own fear and resistance to death
    2. Explore our unhealed and repressed grief (consider travel to help with grief)
    3. Keep learning about death
    4. Talk about death with others in our social circle
    5. Make death part of your every day life 
    6. Teach children about death and help them navigate through loss and grief

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Come back each Monday for a new episode! Visit Patreon.com/eolu if you’d like to become a supporter and leave a review on iTunes if you enjoy this podcast.

Until next week:

Face Your Fear          BE Ready         Love Your Life

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