End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 240 Practices for Loss and Grief During a Time of Isolation with Kirsten DeLeo

Join this conversation about coping with separation from our loved ones at the end of life and practices to help us through these times of isolation.

For this episode I invited my friend Kirsten DeLeo to join me in a conversation about how we can all cope with the isolation and separation we are experiencing from our loved ones during this unprecedented time of global pandemic and quarantine. We address the pain of being unable to be at the bedside of a dying loved one or to care for the body after death due to our necessary isolation. Kirsten is the lead faculty of “Authentic Presence,” a training in contemplative care of the dying and the author of the book Present Through the End: A Caring Companion’s Guide for Accompanying the Dying. Learn more at her website:

www.kirstendeleo.com

Listen here:

Practices for Loss and Grief

This episode includes:

  • This is a time of remembering that we are all truly connected around the world
  • Staying in the present moment as an important mental health strategy during a time of crisis
  • Tips for returning to the present
    • Slow down
    • Take a break from media
    • Deep breaths
    • Connection with nature
  • Coping with uncertainty by staying grounded and centered
  • Our deeper connections transcend the physical realm
  • How to deal with fear when it overwhelms us
  • Balancing the “terror of being alive” with the “wonder of being alive”
  • Care packages for loved ones at a distance
  • Practices at a distance:
    • Unsealing the Spring (to express love)
    • Unfinished Business (for forgiveness)
    • Poetry
    • Music

May a slow wind work these words of love around you, an invisible cloak to mind your life.

John O’Donohue

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • FREE course on Advance Directives: www.eoluniversity.com/roadmapcourse
  • Kirsten’s book: Present Through the End
  • Ep. 214: Present Through the End – Spiritual Care of the Dying with Kirsten DeLeo
  • John O’Donohue poem: A Blessing for the New Year
  • Elgar’s Nimrod by Sheku Kanneh-Mason: YouTube video
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons:  Jo Anna Dvorak and Emily Eliot Miller. Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 234 It’s OK That You’re Not OK: A New Model of Grief with Megan Devine

Learn about the flaws in our old models of grief support and a new approach to being with those who are grieiving.

My guest Megan Devine is a psychotherapist, writier, grief advocate and communication expert. She is the author of the book “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” and the creator of an online community, blogs, podcasts, and courses for people dealing with grief. She will share with us how she came to see that our current models of grief support are flawed, what approach she advocates for helping those who grieve and the resources she offers on her website. Learn more about her work:

www.refugeingrief.com

Get the book here.

Listen here.

This episode includes:

  • How Megan was inspired to create a new model of grief
  • What most grief support programs “get wrong”
  • About our society’s broken relationship with grief
  • What those who are grieving need to know right now
  • How to be an effective support person for someon experiencing grief
  • About Megan’s book “It’s OK That You’re Not OK”

Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

Megan Devine – refugeingrief.com

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief, Spirituality

Ep. 229 How to Create a Mini-Pilgrimage as a Ritual for Grief

Learn how to incorporate the ritual of pilgrimage into your daily life, especially as a tool for grief.

In this solo episode I discuss the benefits of pilgrimage for spiritual growth and for helping with grief. I’ll share with you how I’ve created “mini”-pilgrimages in my own community that have helped me on my own grief journey to shift my energy, honor my loved ones, and deepen my own transformation. You’ll learn how and why you might want to try this ritual for yourself.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why pilgrimages are beneficial
  • Characteristics of sacred spaces that inspire pilgrimages
  • How a pilgrimage can help with grief
  • How to choose a time and place for a mini-pilgrimage
  • Planning for the journey
  • Tips for getting the most from a mini-pilgrimage
  • Rituals during the journey
  • The Sacred Sites Meditation Technique from Martin Gray
  • Returning from a pilgrimage

The sacred sites, the pilgrimage places … are where people most passionately give praise and prayer to God. Go there, be present in that divinity, be in love with that love.

– Martin Gray

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Special offer on Patreon: Autographed copy of What Really Matters! (Offer lasts through 1/27/2020)
  • Sign up for the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class
  • Martin Gray’s websiteSacred Sites
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patron, Richard Schneider; your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 224 How to Help Children With Grief and Talk to Them About Death with Joe Primo

Learn why we need to do a better job recognizing and helping with the experience of grief for our children.

My guest Joe Primo is the CEO of Good Grief, an education and advocacy organization for grieving children. He is the author of the book What Do We Tell the Children: Talking to Kids About Death and Dying and in this interview discusses how the way we talk to children about death can shape their experience of grief throughout their lives. His insights are especially helpful as we approach the holiday season where grief tends to rise to the surface for all of us. Learn more about his work at this website:

www.good-grief.org

Get the book here.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What we are getting wrong in our approach to grief with children
  • How grief can be good
  • How addressing grief openly can help us address other issues in our society
  • Teaching moments for talking about death with children
  • Why cliches and euphemisms about death are not helpful
  • Why teachers and other support people need to be educated about childhood grief
  • Why grief should be revisited with children as they grow and develop over the years
  • Tips for parents to teach children about death
  • Hospice workers and medical personnel should educate themselves about talking to children about death
  • Why attending a funeral can help establish continuing bonds

If you’re old enough to love, you’re old enough to grieve.

Joseph Primo – Good-Grief.org

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Sherrill Shimek, Linda Read, Elisabeth Cascada Rogolsky, Hilary Walker, and Joanna Brown; your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 223 The Wild Edge of Sorrow: The Sacred Work of Grief with Francis Weller

Enjoy this thoughtful discussion about grief as we move into another holiday season.

podcastweller

My guest Francis Weller is a psychotherapist and the author of the book The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. He discusses the importance of engaging grief in our personal lives and as a community and shares stories of the power of grief-work to change our lives. Learn more about his work at his website:

www.francisweller.net

Get the book here.

Listen here.

This episode includes:

  • Why we need to honor grief in order to save the planet
  • The capacity of nature to help us heal our grief
  • How to help children establish a relationship with grief
  • How grief has become attached to other emotions like fear and anger
  • The intimate connection between grief and joy
  • How we enter the experience of grief through different portals ( the “5 gates”)
  • A simple ritual for sharing our collective grief (for healthcare workers and others)

The broken heart has the capacity to respond to the sorrows of the world with meaning … and love.

Francis Weller

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patron: Robinette Williams; your contributions make all the difference!

Why honoring grief is necessary to save the planet.

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 209 How Religion Can Harm the Grief Process with Rev. Dr. Terri Daniel

Learn how our beliefs can become an obstacle to healing and growth during times of trauma and grief. 

PodcastDaniel19

My guest Terri Daniel is an interfaith clinical chaplain, certified trauma specialist, end-of-life educator, and the founder of the Afterlife Awareness Conference. She recently published a new book titled Grief and God, which explores the ways in which religion and “toxic theology” can interfere with the healing process after a profound loss. She’ll share some key takeaways and stories from her extensive research on this important subject.  Learn more at Terri’s website:

www.danieldirect.net 

griefandgod

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • The elements of “toxic theology”
  • How religious beliefs based on toxic theology can increase guilt, fear of death, and complicated grief
  • Types of complicated grief
  • Why platitudes like “thoughts and prayers” no longer suffice after sudden trauma
  • Non-directed vs. directed prayer
  • A “healing prayer” for times of difficulty and trauma
  • Tools for dealing with complicated grief
    • ceremony and ritual
    • art therapy
    • narrative therapy
  • Why talking about grief doesn’t help without ceremony or ritual

Links mentioned in this interview:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron, Susan Glogovac–your contribution means  everything to me!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 205 Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One with Sarah Neustadter PhD

Listen to a personal and intimate conversation about suicide death and how to cope with the aftermath as a survivor.

PodcastNeustadter

My guest Sarah Neustadter PhD was studying psychology in graduate school when her boyfriend, a fellow student in the program, chose to end his life. Ten years later she has written a book to guide others through the complicated grief that follows suicide. In this conversation we share our own stories of grief and find insights together that we hope will be helpful to others on this path. Learn more about Sarah’s work at her website:

www.sarahneustadter.com

Neustadterbook

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • Why no amount of training can prepare you for the suicide death of a loved one
  • How grief after suicide differs from other types of grief
  • The stigmatization of suicide death in our society
  • How devastating guilt and regret follow a suicide
  • Why suicide survivors need to work on self-forgiveness
  • What might help on the journey of post-suicide grief:
    • Community
    • Physical touch or holding
    • Support with mundane tasks of daily life
    • Frequent check-ins from friends
    • Presence from others rather than words
    • Acknowledgment of the pain – even months and years later
  • Grief has its own timeline and can’t be rushed through
  • How writing can help us process grief and other difficult emotions
  • Sarah’s 3 categories of her own grief process:
    • Despair
    • Shifting
    • Beauty

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu – your contributions mean everything to me!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 198 Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth: Finding Wholeness After Loss with Sherry Cormier PhD

Learn about “post-traumatic growth” and how it is possible to thrive after experiencing loss and grief.

PodcastCormier

My guest Sherry Cormier is a licensed psychologist and certified bereavement trauma specialist. She will share with us her personal encounters with loss and grief and how over the years she has managed to grow through her pain. We will also learn about her latest book Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief. Learn more about her work at her website:

http://sherrycormierauthor.com

sweetsorrowcormier

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How talking about death helps with grief
  • Grief healing is not linear but cyclical
  • How grief survivors can thrive after traumatic loss
    • Find community
    • Self-care practices
    • Spiritual practices
    • Do and learn something new
  • Tips for helping a friend or loved one who is grieving
  • The outcome of  “post-traumatic growth”
    • Increased appreciation for life itself
    • New possibilities
    • Increased personal strength
    • More mindful of relationships
    • Spiritual growth
  • Who can benefit from reading her book Sweet Sorrow

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patron: Diane Roberts.

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 174 Finding JOY in Times of Darkness – Christmas Eve 2018

 Learn some ways to navigate the holidays if you find yourself short of joy and overwhelmed with darkness this year.

PodcastJoyDarkness

The holidays are not always joyful, particularly when we are dealing with grief or loss. Watching others celebrate can be painful if we are feeling lost and alone in our suffering. Here are some suggestions for coping with dark times and finding the way to joy. 

 

 

This episode includes:

  • Why times of darkness are essential for life and growth
  • How major holidays near the winter solstice include light as part of the celebration
  • Why we need to embrace the darkness rather than resist it
  • How to bring in the light 
  • How to redefine joy as joie de vivre (the joy of being alive)
  • Discovering that joy is already within you
  • Why stillness is essential to cultivate joy
  • Overcoming the obstacles to joy
  • The importance of giving to others even when you are going through difficult times

Dark times provide an incubator for the soul to grow in creativity, love and joy.

Links mentioned in this episode:

Tune in every Monday for a new episode! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

karen-signature

 

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 172 Coping with the Death of a Pet with Wendy Van de Poll

Learn how to navigate grief during the dying process and after the death of a beloved animal companion.

PodcastVanDePoll

 

Wendy Van de Poll has felt a connection with animals since a very young age and then learned about the grief associated with the death of a pet after her own dog Marley died of cancer. She serves as an End-of-Life and Pet Grief Support Coach to help provide a safe place for people to grieve the loss of their animal companions. She shares her tips for surviving grief and also ideas for creating an end-of-life plan for our pets.

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Join our online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously for 2019 by signing up here. Or learn more at this webpage: eoluniversity.com/yearofreading 

If you’re already on the mailing list you can download the 2019 book list below:

A Year of Reading Dangerously 2019

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

(This interview previously aired on the End-of-Life University Interview Series.)

Whether you live with an animal companion yourself or you know someone who loves a pet dearly, you need to be prepared for the day when that animal reaches the end of life. Wendy Van de Poll helps people prepare in advance for pet loss and also helps them deal with the grief that follows the death of a beloved animal friend.

The impact of the loss of a pet can be more significant than the loss of a human companion.

In this interview you will learn:

  • Why it’s important to create an end-of-life plan for pets
  • What to include in a pet’s end-of-life plan
  • How to make the dying process easier for a pet
  • Common myths surrounding grief after the death of a pet
  • Advice for those experiencing pet loss grief
  • How to support a loved one dealing with grief over the death of a pet
  • Suggestions for helping a child cope with pet loss grief

Wendy Van de Poll is dedicated to providing a safe place for her clients to express their grief over the loss of their pets.

Her passion is to help people when they are grieving over the loss of a pet and her larger than life love for animals has led her to devote her life to the mission of increasing the quality of life between animals and people no matter what stage they are in their cycle of life! She has been called the animal whisperer.

She is a Certified End of Life and Pet Grief Support Coach, Certified Pet Funeral Celebrant, Animal Medium and Communicator. She is the founder of The Center for Pet Loss Grief and an international best selling and award-winning author and speaker.

She holds a Master’s of Science degree in Wolf Ecology and Behavior and has run with wild wolves in Minnesota, coyotes in Massachusetts and foxes in her backyard. She lives in the woods with her husband, two crazy birds, her rescue dog Addie and all kinds of wildlife.

Learn more about her work: centerforpetlossgrief.com

Support this podcast by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/eolu, sharing this episode with others who might find it helpful, and leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready         Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

 

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 153 The Broken Heart: Healing the Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Grief with Michelle Peticolas

Learn about the impact of grief on the body and the emotions and steps you can take to heal your grief when you are ready.

PodcastPeticolas

 

 

MichellePeticolasIn this episode I share an interview with filmmaker and grief counselor Michelle Peticolas who talks about the 3-part film series she created, which is available for use in your community. She also shares her tips on healing from grief and thriving after loss.

Learn more about Michelle’s work here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

A HUGE THANK YOU to my latest contributors on Patreon.com/eolu: Christina Ensminger and Jackie Yeager! I appreciate your generosity and your support so much. If you’d like to join our team go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn how to sign up for as little as $1 per month and receive special bonuses just for patrons!

obrienwebinarIf you missed last week’s webinar with Suzanne O’Brien on “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers” you can still listen to the replay. Go to www.eoluniversity.com/obrien to register and you’ll receive the link to listen in. It was fantastic and I’m sure you will enjoy it!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Michelle Peticolas begins the interview by telling us about her series of 3 films, The Secrets of Life and Death, which deal with facing death, being present with the dying, and grief. These films are now available for public showing and you can go to her website to learn more: www.secretsoflifeanddeath.com

Next we talk about grief and cover the following topics:

  • People in our culture struggle with grief because we have been taught to avoid it
  • Grief triggers both an emotional and a physical response and illness can result from grief that is not addressed
  • The brain needs time to rewire its circuits after the death of a loved one
  • The medical system usually offers drugs for grief symptoms, which don’t help grief actually heal
  • Grief support groups may contribute to ongoing trauma for grievers by stimulating the release of stress hormones over and over again as stories are told and retold
  • Michelle’s 3 tips for thriving after loss:
    • Allow the feelings to arise and learn how to listen to the body
    • Savor support and reach out for connection with others; allow your loved one to love you through others
    • Shift perception of loss and recognize that love and joy are still present even though the person you’ve loved is not physically present

Tune in next week for another new episode. If you enjoy this content please share with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until the next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready          Love Your Life

karen-signature

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 151 How to Include Children in Funerals (and Why You Should)

Learn about some helpful resources for talking to children about death and funerals.

podcastchildrenfuneral

EbookyouthfuneralsIn this episode I’ll share some tips from a recent panel discussion I watched about Youth and Funerals. It’s important to teach adults how to talk to children about death and how to invite them to participate in mourning rituals when a loved one dies.

Get the eBook from Funeral Services Foundation here.

Watch the video:

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

obrienwebinarOn July 24th I’ll be hosting Suzanne O’Brien RN for a free webinar titled: “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers.” Join us if you’re interested in learning more about the work of end-of-life doulas to see if further training might be of interest to you. You’ll learn valuable skills for caring for those at the end of life no matter what type of work you do. Sign up at the link below:

Doula Training Webinar

Thank you to my new supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Joshua Zoppi! I’m grateful to you and all the other patrons who are helping to keep this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series on the air! If you’d like to join the team (and get special bonuses) go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more and sign up (for as little as $1 per month!)

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

There’s no denying the importance of teaching children about death and dying from a young age to help them have a healthy attitude toward a normal part of life. Part of that teaching includes involving them in funerals for loved ones and providing appropriate support and information during the process.

In this episode I’ll talk about:

  • My own story of attending a funeral without understanding anything about death or knowing what to expect at a funeral
  • How I taught my children about death and funerals
  • The panel discussion from the Nation Funeral Directors’ Association Leadership Conference that inspired me to talk about this subject (speakers I watched and quote from include Joe Primo of Good Grief, Vicky Jay of National Alliance for Grieving Children, and Brad Speaks from Speaks Family Legacy Chapel)
  • Why children should be taught about funerals and allowed to participate
  • Why we need to teach parents how to include their children in funerals and support them in the process
  • Ways to involve children in funerals:
    • Create a music playlist for the funeral
    • Help make a poster board of photos of the loved one
    • Draw pictures of the loved one
    • Tell a story or sing a song for the funeral
    • Be a pallbearer or escort
    • Place flowers on the casket or urn or in the grave
  • Books:

Links from this episode:

Ep. 140: The Silent Grief of a Young Child with Rachel Stephenson

Good Grief Organization

National Alliance for Grieving Children

Funeral Service Foundation

There will be a new episode every Monday! If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next week …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready           Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief, Tragedy

Ep. 143 Lessons from “the Other Side” Through Channeled Writing with Matt McKay PhD

Learn how a skeptical psychologist began receiving messages through channeled writing from his son after his tragic death.

PodcastMcKay

MattMcKay2In this episode I share an interview with psychologist Matt McKay PhD who tells how he began receiving messages after his son’s death that taught him about spirituality here in this life and in the afterlife. Matt shares his suggestions for communicating with those “on the other side.”

Click here to learn more about Dr. McKay’s work and his book Seeking Jordan: How I Learned the Truth About Death and the Invisible Universe.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

wrmflatcoverThis episode is sponsored by my book: What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying. I share with you how I got inspired to write the book, why it took a long time to finally create it, and what you can learn from reading this book.

You can get it here on Amazon in print, ebook and audiobook formats!

THANK YOU to all of my current patrons on Patreon.com/eolu! Your support means everything to me! If you’d like to join in and help support this podcast for as little as $1 per month go to Patreon.com/eolu and check it out!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

In this presentation clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew McKay will share the story of his son Jordan and how he sought to connect with Jordan after his death. He will teach us how to communicate with our own loved ones who have died.

Dr. McKay offers these suggestions for starting your own practice of channeled writing:

  • Get grounded and centered
  • Have a physical object that connects you to your loved one
  • Use a candle or other visible object to focus your gaze
  • Become more receptive bu using mindfulness, self-hypnosis, breathing techniques
  • Have a special notebook handy
  • Write down a question for the loved one you would like to communicate with
  • Wait for words to form in your mind and immediately write down anything that arises, without judging or questioning it
  • Acknowledge your doubt but don’t be paralyzed by it

Remember there will be a new episode every Monday! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes and sharing it with others.

Until next week …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready         Love Your Life

karen-signature

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief, Grief Travel

Ep. 141 Travel to Heal the Grief of War: Tips for a Pilgrimage

Learn how to create a pilgrimage to help you process the grief that follows the trauma of war.

 

PodcastNormandy

griefluggagelg2ED-1149289_1280In this episode I share my own story of traveling to Normandy to retrace my father’s footsteps during World War II. This was part of a grief pilgrimage I took to help me understand the factors that led to my father’s suicide many years later.

Read the companion blog here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously and join our online reading group for 2018. Read more about it here.

This episode is sponsored by my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu who contribute a little each month to keep this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series on the air! Thank you to my latest patron: Martha Johnson! I appreciate your support more than you can ever know. To become a patron go to Patreon.com/eolu and receive some special bonuses.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

One year ago I featured a special 8-part series titled Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath about my own journey of healing following my father’s suicide death. This week is the anniversary of his death and I’m focusing in today on part of my journey.

(You can hear the entire Suicide Series at: www.eoluniversity.com/suicideseries )

In order to learn more about the impact of World War II on Dad’s emotional health I took a grief pilgrimage to Normandy to explore the location of some of his traumatic experiences. That trip was a powerful experience that helped me understand Dad better and grasp the burden of grief and guilt that he had carried with him since the war.

Here are my tips for anyone who wants to plan a similar pilgrimage (listen to the episode for more of the details and to hear how my own journey unfolded):

  • Do your homework before you go: Learn all you can about your loved one’s wartime travels so you can choose the places you’ll visit carefully. Check the National Archives for information and military records for your loved one.
  • Visit a museum: You’ll learn a lot of history in a short time by starting your journey at a war memorial museum. You’ll find some of the recommended World War II museums in Europe listed here.
  • Enlist a guide: A local guide with a solid knowledge of history and the area can save you time and show you places you wouldn’t have discovered on your own. Find a guide that speaks your language fluently and is willing to go to the places on your list.
  • Meet a local: One of the benefits of traveling to the location of the war is the opportunity to meet people who personally experienced the war and its aftermath (or their offspring.) Local citizens will have stories to share that will help broaden your perspective.
  • Take your time: The emotions that arise on grief pilgrimage are intense so allow time for reflection and processing. Don’t rush through the sites but stop and take it all in. Let your feelings rise to the surface so that they can be witnessed.
  • Participate in a ritual: Rituals provide a powerful opportunity for healing during grief travel experiences so plan ahead to create your own special ceremony. Or you may have a chance to take part in a scheduled ceremony with other travelers as I did when I visited the Normandy American Cemetery. 

Learn more about how travel helped my grief by listening here.

Tune in each Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week remember ….

Face Your Fear             BE Ready             Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 140 The Silent Grief of A Young Child After the Death of a Parent with Rachel Stephenson

Learn about the impact of unspoken grief on a young child after the death of a parent and why we need to do a better job addressing grief with children.

PodcastStephenson

Stephenson RachelsmIn this episode I share an interview with Rachel Stephenson, an author, speaker and educator, who shares the story of her mother’s sudden death when she was 5 years old and the lasting impact it has had on her and the lives of her family. Rachel’s TEDx Talk on the same subject has attracted a lot of attention and points out why we need to address grief and loss with children.

Watch Rachel’s TEDx Talk:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously reading group here and join us to read books about death, dying and the afterlife all year long!

Tune in to the 4-part webinar series Demystifying Palliative Care here and learn all about the palliative care team members and their roles.

This episode is being sponsored by Gia’s Healing Chants Album – you’ll hear a selection at the very end of this episode. Click here to learn more and purchase the album.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest is Rachel Stephenson, whose blog “Dear Dead Mother” and recent TEDx Talk have captured a great deal of attention online. We explore the process of grief, particularly for a young child who loses a parent, and how childhood grief differs from that experienced by adults. Rachel is passionate about opening the conversation about grief and loss.

In this interview you will learn:

  • the dangers of grieving in silence as perceived by Rachel
  • the experience of suddenly losing a parent through the eyes of a young child
  • what needs to change in our societal conversation about death
  • how to talk to a child about a death in the family

Rachel Stephenson is a writer, speaker, educator, and university administrator who is living fully with grief. She is currently the University Director of the CUNY Service Corps at The City University of New York, and her professional experience includes designing and implementing innovative experiential education programs in civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development; writing interactive curricula; facilitating/emceeing professional development workshops and special events; fundraising; and more at a range of educational institutions and non-profit organizations in New York City. She is married with three daughters. Though Rachel has not spent her career in the world of grief and bereavement, she has spent her life thinking about her own grief – her mother died suddenly when Rachel was five – and knowing that she would one day revisit her own story to connect with others about navigating loss.

Website: https://deardeadmother.wordpress.com/

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next time:

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

karen-signature

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 134 The Hidden Grief of Life’s Transitions with Rev. Terri Daniel

Learn how grief over the death of loved one is compounded by other losses that occur simultaneously.

podcastdaniel

ALDanielcroppedIn this episode I share a conversation with Rev. Terri Daniel about the “other grief” that occurs throughout life with or without the death of a loved one. We’ll talk about this hidden grief and why it is important to acknowledge it as an important part of life.

Learn more about Terri’s workshop at http://spiritualityandgrief.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

It’s not too late to sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously and join us in reading books about death, dying and the afterlife throughout 2018! Learn more and sign up here.

Thank you to all of the donors who are contributing to my page at Patreon.com/eolu each month! It makes a huge difference and I’m very grateful! Thank you to Suzanne O’Brien RN and Doulagivers.com for being a “legacy supporter” for the past 18 months!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

In this interview Rev. Terri Daniel and I talk about the big picture of grief throughout life’s transitions and how it often goes unnoticed as we focus primarily on grief after a death occurs. We talk about:

  • Continuing Bonds Theory
  • “Other” types of loss
    • Material loss
    • Relationship loss
    • Intrapsychic loss
    • Functional loss
    • Role loss
    • System loss
  • Four additional types of grief
    • Relinquishment grief
    • Tribal/National grief
    • Vicarious grief
    • Collective grief
  • The need for ritual and ceremony to process grief
  • Are there avoidable vs. unavoidable losses?

Rev. Terri Daniel is a clinical chaplain and end-of-life educator certified in death, dying and bereavement by the Association of Death Education and Counseling. Her work focuses on assisting dying and grieving individuals to discover a more spiritually-spacious understanding of loss and trauma.

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and please leave a review on iTunes if you enjoy this content!

Until next time remember …

Face Your Fear          BE Ready           Love Your Life

karen-signature

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 124 Graceful Passages: The Healing Power of Music with Gary Malkin

Learn from this Emmy-award winning composer how music is a form of “energy medicine” that can transform grief and the end-of-life experience.

PodcastMalkin

ALMalkincroppedIn this episode I share an interview with Gary Malkin, composer of the music for “Graceful Passages,” a CD used in hospices around the world to comfort the dying. Gary will discuss how music has the potential to heal on a physical, emotional and spiritual level and why healthcare should include the arts in the future.

Learn more at http://www.wisdomoftheworld.com

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

A Year of Reading

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously and join our online reading group. For the month of January 2018 we are reading When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. Sign up below to receive email notifications each month and to join our stimulating conversation on Facebook and by live conference call.

https://mailchi.mp/karenwyattmd/yearofreading

Patreonbecome2xAs always, support for this podcast comes from my donation page at Patreon.com/eolu. Thank you to all of my current donors who are helping to keep this show and the End-of-Life University Interview Series on the air. Special thanks this week goes to Laurie Dinerstein-Kurs for increasing her pledge to the Platinum level! If you’d like to contribute (as little as $1 per month) go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

This week I welcome Emmy winning composer Gary Malkin to talk about his CD for end-of-life transitions: Graceful Passages.

Key takeaways from this interview include:

  • How Gary composed the music for Graceful Passages and where the inspiration came from
  • How music can be used as a tool that calls people to be fully present and can be very helpful in end-of-life scenarios
  • Why music is helpful in times of grief
  • Why we should look for music that is “life-enhancing” or “positive intention” to have a soothing effect and create a response of relaxation
  • Science is documenting that music and other art forms can increase heart coherence, cause the release of oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and enhance immune function
  • Why periods of silence are important and how deep breathing and soft toning can help bridge the fear of silence

Thanks for tuning in! You’ll find a new episode every Monday so be sure to come back. Leave a review on iTunes if you enjoy this kind of content!

Until next week remember:

Face Your Fear           BE Ready             Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

 

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief, Hospice, Tragedy

Ep. 122 Top 10 “Game Changers” of 2017 for the Death-Positive Movement

Learn about my Top-10 picks for people, events and trends that have changed the end-of-life movement in 2017.

PodcastGameChangers

2017In this final episode of 2017 I take a look back at the previous year and share my thoughts on some of the events and people that I believe will have a big impact on how our society deals with the end of life.

Happy Holidays!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Patreonbecome2xYou can support this podcast by making a small donation of $1 or $2 at Patreon.com/eolu.

 

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Here are my picks for the 2017 Game Changers in the Death-Positive Movement:

  • The documentary film “Extremis” was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Documentary Short. The film was also picked up by Netflix in 2016. It is a powerful depiction of end-of-life care in the ICU staffed by Dr. Jessica Zitter, which should serve as a wake-up call to people about the need to do end-of-life planning before a healthcare crisis occurs.
  • Dr. Jessica Zitter’s book Extreme Measures was also released this year. In addition she wrote an article for the N.Y. Times (“First Sex Ed Then Death Ed”) calling for death education classes for all high school students. This novel idea has the potential to change our society’s perception of death and dying by introducing the subject to young people. Dr. Zitter is truly a game changer!
  • In March and May of 2017 the organization The Dinner Party (a movement to provide community for millennials dealing with loss) convened meetings with business leaders from some prominent US corporations to discuss loss and the workplace. They emphasized the importance of developing workplace policies and protocols for managing bereaved employees and offering them assistance. These conversations are just the first step in changing how grief is recognized and supported in the workplace rather than being ignored.
  • In April 2017 the 1st International Death Doula Training was held in Maui for the purpose of teaching people from around the globe to serve others as death doulas. This event was a game changer because it validated the death doula movement, increased the number of qualified doulas who can serve their communities, and provided a networking platform for death workers, which helped strengthen and expand the movement. The 2nd International training will take place in 2018!
  • Also in Apri the National Rx Drug Abuse and Heroin Summit was held to address the epidemic of opioid addiction in this country. Measures have been taken to limit the number of pain pills that can be prescribed and dispensed at one time. This is an important and game-changing step to deal with the overwhelming public crisis of opioid deaths but caution is necessary. We must be vigilant to ensure that all hospice and palliative care patients have access to the medications they need for pain and symptom management.
  • On June 27, 2017 Jon Underwood, founder of Death Cafe, died suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age. Jon has been a game changer from the beginning by creating the Death Cafe platform for conversations about death that has spread around the world. But the tragedy of his death is also a potential game changer because of the powerful legacy Jon leaves behind and because of the potential for tragedy to inspire growth, creativity and healing. The entire death-positive movement is indebted to Jon for his inspiring and gentle leadership and may his death be a catalyst for transformation.
  • In July a new smart phone app named WeCroak was introduced. This app is a game changer because it helps people to think about death in a positive manner  by sending reminders (“You will die one day”) and quotes on their phones 5 times a day. Technology has the potential to revolutionize our approach to death and dying and this simple $.99 app is just one small step toward the change that is needed.
  • The film Coco was released in the US by Disney and Pixar in November. Coco tells the story of a 12-year old boy who is transported to the land of the dead on Dia de los Muertos. There he receives help from his departed great-great grandfather to return to his family in the land of the living. The film depicts joyful skeletons who dance and sing and it portrays a positive image of life after death. While it is a children’s movie Coco has a powerful message for adults and is likely to stimulate much conversation in families about death and departed ancestors. It is exciting to see Hollywood begin to address death in a positive manner and this film is a game changer that will hopefully lead to more such productions in the future.
  • In December the first EndWell Symposium, created by Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider and her foundation, was held in San Francisco. This groundbreaking symposium brought together thought leaders from healthcare, design and technology to share ideas on how to improve end-of-life care. The synergy of this collaborative event will have a ripple effect across the country and should lead to innovation and creativity around death and dying in the months to come. Dr. Ungerleider is a game changer for her forward-thinking generosity and ingenuity!
  • Also in December the Northpoint Expeditionary Learning Academy in Prescott AZ held a class for students in grades 9-12 on “Death and the Meaning of Life.”  School Director Charles Mentken taught the class, which provided a comprehensive look at death and dying from various cultural and religious perspectives. The elective class also introduced the students to options for hospice and palliative care, death doulas, home funerals, cremation, and traditional funeral and  burial services. This may be the first “pilot project” course of the type Dr. Jessica Zitter called for in her NY Times article and it is definitely a game changer. The students in the course have reported that their attitudes and fears about death have been totally transformed, as well as their approach to life, as a result of what they learned in the class. (I’ll be featuring an interview with Charles Mentken and 3 of his students on the End-of-Life University Interview Series in early 2018. Sign up if you’re not already on the list!)

I hope your holiday celebrations have been filled with joy and light and that you feel ready to embark on a brand new year next week! There will be a new episode on New Year’s Day where I will share my “wish list” for 2018.

Until then remember to ….

Face Your Fear            BE Ready           Love Your Life

karen-signature

 

SaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 121 Holidays & Grief: The Dinner Party with Carla Fernandez and Lennon Flowers

Learn how The Dinner Party movement helps millennials cope with grief and some tips for managing grief during the holidays.

PodcastDinnerPartyBanner

carlalennoncollageIn this episode I share an interview with Carla Fernandez and Lennon Flowers, co-founders of The Dinner Party, a movement that is helping grieving millennials find community. I also talk about some of their tips for grief over the holidays.

Learn more about The Dinner Party here.

Download the Holiday Grief Guide from The Dinner Party here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

griefluggagelg2ED-1149289_1280Check out my new blog series on Grief Travel and learn some tips for planning travel to help with grief. Go to eoluniversityblog.com to find the series and start planning your own grief travel experience.

 

Patreonbecome2xThank you so much to all of my Patrons who have made donations on Patreon.com/eolu this year! I am forever grateful for your support and encouragement. If you would like to help keep End-of-Life University on the air you can go to Patreon.com/eolu and pledge just $1 a month to receive bonuses like the monthly Q&A recording I call “Hospice Happy Hour.” You’ll also be able to listen to all of the replays from the recent Death Expo 2017.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guests Carla Fernandez and Lennon Flowers are the co-founders of The Dinner Party, a movement to create community and meaningful conversation around the isolating experience of grief for those in their 20’s and 30’s. Younger adults often feel out of place in traditional grief support groups and Carla and Lennon will share how their own personal losses led them to start The Dinner Party, which has now grown across the U.S. and beyond.

In this interview you will learn:

  • The inspiration behind The Dinner Party
  • Why The Dinner Party reaches out to millennials
  • How participants benefit from attending
  • How to become a host for a Dinner Party
  • How Carla and Lennon are working to create supportive workplaces for the bereaved
  • What resources are available on The Dinner Party website for grief in the workplace and grief at holiday times

Wishing you and your loved ones much love, joy and light during this holiday season, no matter how you choose to celebrate. I’ll be enjoying Christmas with my family next week but there will still be a podcast episode so be sure to tune in.

If you enjoy this podcast please consider leaving a review on iTunes to help more people discover this information.

Until next time….

Face Your Fear              BE Ready             Love Your Life

karen-signature

SaveSaveSaveSave

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief, Grief Travel, Tragedy

Ep. 118 How Travel Helped My Grief

Learn how travel can provide a “safe container” for healing grief and loss.

PodcastGriefTravel

kwadriatic.jpg
In this episode I’ll share my own insights into how the experience of travel can help with the process of grief. This is also the subject of the new book I’m writing (I did research for it on my recent trip to Italy) … I’ll share a brief overview here!

You can check out all of my Italy photos on Instagram!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

virtualdeathcafecroppedEach month I host a “Virtual Death Cafe” with fascinating conversations about death, grief and the end of life. Anyone can join by telephone or online. You can learn more about it at www.eoluniversity.com/death-cafe.

Also, if you missed Death Expo earlier this month you can still access the replays at this link: www.eoluniversity.com/de17speakers.

Patreonbecome2xThis podcast is supported through the generous donations of my patrons on Patreon.com/eolu. I’m sending a HUGE THANK YOU to all of my current supporters – your support makes a big difference! Join the fun for just $1 or $2 per month and you’ll receive the “Patrons Only” Q&A recording each month (Hospice Happy Hour!) Go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more and sign up!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

During several of my travel experiences in the past I have been dealing with grief and have found the process of travel to be helpful. On one trip to Italy, my husband and I learned of the death of our brother-in-law on the day we arrived in Venice. Unable to cancel the rest of our trip and return home immediately, which we wanted to do, we stumbled through the remainder of the vacation and managed to make peace with our pain.

Here are some of my “takeaways” about how travel can help with grief:

  • Permission to wander aimlessly. On our Venice trip we canceled all of our sightseeing plans and activities. We started each day with a totally clean slate and just wandered the streets and canals of the city all day long. By following our intuition and our broken hearts we were able to enter into our grief without distraction or attachment. Had we been at home with family we would have felt obligated to “do something” and “be somewhere” but because we were traveling we were free of all expectations.
  • Seeing the big picture. Because we were freed up from the details of our daily life at home, we found more space to explore grief from a “trans-personal” perspective, as something bigger than just our own individual lives. Experiencing grief in another country allowed us to:
    • Recognize that all people, everywhere, experience the death of loved ones. Our mortality and the grief it causes us is the interconnecting thread that binds us to all of humanity.
    • Go deep into history. By visiting ancient ruins we can see that all of humankind, throughout history has dealt with the pain of loss and struggled to make peace with death. Our experience of grief is just one part of a vast “whole” picture of human loss.
  • Surrendering to grief to find joy within. As travelers “stuck” in another country even though we wanted to be home, we had no choice but to surrender to the pain that engulfed us. When we allowed grief to find a home within (and even “became” a living embodiment of grief) we also discovered a startling capacity for simple joy over the beauty of being alive. I’ve written this before: suffering hollows us out so that we can contain an even greater measure of joy … and also love.
  • Understanding impermanence. Strolling through cemeteries, relics and ruined structures of the past illustrated to me perfectly that everything that exists in the physical realm is impermanent and will one day dissolve away. Only love and the energy of life persist eternally. And it is the depth of the love we experience for others that causes the magnitude of pain we feel upon their deaths. Grief is one of the visible manifestations of love in the physical realm.
  • Learning how to navigate in unfamiliar territory. On our “grief trip” in Venice we simply wandered every day until we were hopelessly lost. We took in everything around us along the way–noticing all the colors and sounds and fragrances of life. And when we felt ready to return “home” we studied our maps to figure out where we were and to slowly find our way back to more familiar territory. This skill of navigating in the unknown will prove to be very helpful to us throughout life and especially during our own dying process as we struggle to get back to a home we can’t remember.

I hope you will take the opportunity to travel some day, even when you are experiencing grief, to experience the profound benefits it can offer!

Tune in every Monday for a new episode of the podcast! If you enjoy this content, please share it with others and leave a review on iTunes! Until next week remember:

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

karen-signature