EOLPodcast

Ep. 299 Embodied Grieving for Ancestral Trauma and Loss with Oceana Sawyer

Learn some tools for experiencing grief in the physical body and moving it through to promote healing of ancestral trauma.

My guest Oceana Sawyer is a death doula and funeral celebrant who utilizes earth-based spirituality, expressive arts and integral counseling psychology in her work. She teaches about the need to feel our emotions in the physical body in order to get “unstuck” from grief and how grief can be a portal for healing our own trauma from the past and that of our ancestors. Through her own life experiences as a Black woman she has explored the pain of racialized trauma in our society and how it effects all of us regardless of our own skin color. Learn more about Oceana’s work at her website:

www.oceanaendoflifedoula.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How Oceana was called to work with death, dying and grief through her father’s death
  • Why grief needs to be experienced and expressed through the physical body
  • Ways to practice embodied grieving
    • Breath work
    • Body work
    • Yoga
    • Hiking
    • Running
    • Dancing
    • Laughter
  • How grief can be a great opening for self-exploration and healing to occur
  • Why everyone in our society needs to do grief work right now
  • Why “if you don’t transform your pain you will transmit it”
  • How the pandemic and the racial violence in our society have led to massive unresolved grief
  • Oceana’s own exploration of healing racial trauma in the physical body
  • Your body already knows how to heal itself
  • Grieving is the first step of forgiveness

The capacity to move through big emotions is our capacity to grow … it’s how you’re going to become a full human being.”

Oceana Sawyer

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest supporter Suzanna Brown and thank you Sandy Jane Stacy for increasing your pledge! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 279 Grieving What Has Been Lost in 2020

One of the most challenging years of our lives is drawing to a close and it’s time to honor all of the grief we have experienced.

In this final episode of 2020 I share some poems and verses that have helped me give words to the grief I’ve experienced this year. It’s important to grieve what has been lost before we move on to setting goals and making plans for next year so this final week of 2020 is the perfect time to “be” with our grief. Wishing you a blessed ending to this year and a hopeful and meaningful beginning of the new one!

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we need to make a place for our grief
  • Poem: Talking to Grief by Denise Levertov
  • Why we cannot understand our own grief when we are in the middle of it
  • Quote from Morihei Ueshiba
  • How a non-dual perspective of grief helps us eventually find our own answers within rather than outside of ourselves
  • Verse by Lao Tzu
  • Learn to just “be” in grief rather than “doing” grief
  • Poem: Inukshuk by Rob Jacques
  • Finding grace in little reminders that others have also traveled this road of grief
  • Prayer by Molly Fumia

This is the miracle you already have … and always ask for … in your moments of forgetful suffering.

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • The Conference on Death and Bereavement Studies: A Professional Development Symposium – January 10, 2021 Learn more here
  • Spiritual Journeys in Chronic Illness Course – with Terri Daniels – starts January 7th Learn more here
  • Sign up for the 2021 online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously at this link
  • Support you local bookstore by buying my books on Bookshop and Indiebound: 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying and The Journey from Ego to Soul
  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief, Spirituality

Ep. 266 Leave Your Light On: The Life and Afterlife of Ryder Buck with Shelley Buck and Kathy Curtis

Learn about the journey of a remarkable young musician through cancer, death and the afterlife and how he continues to inspire people.

My guests Shelley Buck and Kathy Curtis are the co-authors of the book Leave Your Light On, which details the journey of Shelley’s son Ryder through cancer and his subsequent death in a terrible accident. They discuss the process of writing this book as a healing practice for grief, the spiritual transformation experienced by Ryder after his cancer diagnosis, and how people around the world have been inspired by his story both before and after his death. They have turned a tragic story into transcendence that lights the way for all of us who are feeling lost in the darkness right now. Learn more at these websites:

www.ryderbuckmusic.com and www.kathycurtisink.com

Get the book Leave Your Light On here

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How writing can help us heal grief, illness and loss
  • Ryder’s story and how music became a medium for him to share his message with the world
  • How his cancer journey accelerated Ryder’s spiritual growth
  • The challenges of being a mother to a young adult facing cancer and wanting his independence
  • How Shelley negotiated being “cancer mom” and also caring for her two younger sons at the same time
  • The amazing and synchronistic ways Ryder has communicated since his death and how those experiences have helped his parents with their grief
  • Tips for using writing as a healing medium
  • Three mantras for navigating these times of darkness from songs Ryder wrote or inspired

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Register for FREE Level 1 Doula Training here
  • Register for Certified End-of-Life Doula Training here
  • Find Ryder Buck’s music here
  • Get the book Leave Your Light On here
  • Gia’s song for Ryder: Ryde This WaveListen here
  • Song from Frozen 2: The Next Right ThingListen here
  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 250 Anti-Racism: The Inner and Outer Work

Listen here:

Special Event Hosted by Alua Arthur of Going with Grace:

“Sayin it Louder: A Conversation about “A Good Death” in a racist society”

Wednesday June 10th – 4 pm Pacific/7 pm Eastern

An online panel discussion with Alua Arthur and five Black leaders in the end-of-life space. Don’t miss this important conversation. Register at the link below:

https://mailchi.mp/59f0d3f361c8/panel-discussion

My commitments:

Recognize that racism is everywhere, including within me, no matter how liberal or educated or conscious or caring I am.

Racism in America is like dust in the air: It seems invisible–even if you’re choking on it–until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere.”

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Listen and learn from people different from me.

It’s up to all of us—Black, white, everyone—no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out. It starts with self-examination and listening to those whose lives are different from our own. 

Michelle Obama

Be “un-fragile” and hold myself accountable for my unconscious bias and racism.

It is white people’s responsibility to be less fragile; people of color don’t need to twist themselves into knots trying to navigate us as painlessly as possible.”

Robin DiAngelo

Be “anti-racist” rather than “not a racist.”

The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it’s the only way forward.”

Ijeoma Oluo

Shine light on the shadow of racism and bring love to every situation.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Resources for Anti-Racism:

Podcasts:

“Dismantling White Fragility” from The Goop Podcast (Stitcher / Apple Podcasts / Spotify)

“Let’s Talk about Whiteness” from On Being with Krista Tippett (On Being / Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Stitcher)

“Why The Coronavirus Is Hitting Black Communities Hardest” from NPR’s Code Switch (NPR / Stitcher / Apple Podcasts / Spotify)

“Miss Buchanan’s Period of Adjustment” Season 2, Episode 3 of Revisionist History (Stitcher / Apple Podcasts / Spotify)

Articles:

Racism Defined” by Dismantling Racism Works

Welcome To The Anti-Racism Movement — Here’s What You’ve Missed” by Ijeoma Oluo

Why the CVS Burned” by Louis Hyman 

How to Make this Moment the Turning Point for Real Change” by Barack Obama 

A Very Abbreviated History of the Destruction of Black Neighborhoods” by Gabrielle Bruney

The Subtle Linguistics of Polite White Supremacy” by Yawo Brown 

Amy Cooper, White Spaces and the Political Project of Whiteness” by Lara Witt

The Case for Reparations” by Ta-Nehisi Coates

How to Talk to Your Family About Racism on Thanksgiving” by Rachel Elizabeth Cargle 

Books:

Passed On: African American Mourning Stories – a memorial by Karla FC Holloway (Amazon)

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo, PhD (Amazon / Bookshop

How To Be Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi (Amazon / Bookshop)

White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson (Amazon / Bookshop

Raising Our Hands: How White Women Can Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations, Start Accepting Responsibility, and Find Our Place on the New Frontlines by Jenna Arnold out June 23, 2020 (Amazon / Bookshop

When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele (Amazon / Bookshop

How To Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy, and the Racial Divide by Crystal M Fleming (Amazon / Bookshop

So You Wanna Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo (Amazon / Bookshop

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 244 Creative Tools for Grief During the COVID-19 Pandemic with Claudia Coenen

Learn how creativity can help us process our feelings of grief and sadness to become more whole during times of difficulty.

My guest Claudia Coenen is certified in grief counseling and thanatology and is also a musician, dancer, writer, and chef who utilizes creative process and somatic therapy in her work with clients. She is also the author of two books – “Shattered by Grief: Picking up the pieces to become WHOLE again” and “The Creative Toolkit for Working With Grief and Bereavement: A Practitioner’s Guide”. Today Claudia shares how creativity can help all of us deal with our grief and sadness as we cope with the global pandemic and some specific tools for fostering resilience and healing in a time of distress. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.thekarunaproject.com

Listen here:

Creative Tools for Grief with Claudia Coenen

This episode includes:

  • How creativity can help us deal with trauma, loss and grief
  • Why everyone is creative – even if they don’t know it
  • Creative activities for addressing fear during the pandemic
    • Fear and Action Worksheet
    • Shield Collage
    • Resilience basket
  • How various models for grief can help us get in touch with our emotions
    • Shattering of the Assumptive World
    • Meaning-making
    • Dual Process
    • Companioning Model
  • A daily ritual for acknowledging the current collective grief of humankind: Lovingkindness Meditation for the Pandemic

May we be at peace.

May we be healthy and strong.

May we be open-hearted.

May we remember we are all connected.”

from Lovingkindness Meditation for the Pandemic

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Pre-Order 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying here
  • Claudia’s Website: The Karuna Project
  • Get Claudia’s Book here: Shattered by Grief: Picking up the pieces to become WHOLE again
  • Pre-Order Claudia’s new book here: The Creative Toolkit for Working with Grief and Bereavement
  • View Karuna Cards here
  • Shattering of the Assumptive World grief model – Ronnie Janoff-Bulman book
  • Leave a message for me at SpeakPipe.com/eolu and I’ll include it in a future episode!
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!
  • SUBSCRIBE to the podcast here

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 223 The Wild Edge of Sorrow: The Sacred Work of Grief with Francis Weller

Enjoy this thoughtful discussion about grief as we move into another holiday season.

podcastweller

My guest Francis Weller is a psychotherapist and the author of the book The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. He discusses the importance of engaging grief in our personal lives and as a community and shares stories of the power of grief-work to change our lives. Learn more about his work at his website:

www.francisweller.net

Get the book here.

Listen here.

This episode includes:

  • Why we need to honor grief in order to save the planet
  • The capacity of nature to help us heal our grief
  • How to help children establish a relationship with grief
  • How grief has become attached to other emotions like fear and anger
  • The intimate connection between grief and joy
  • How we enter the experience of grief through different portals ( the “5 gates”)
  • A simple ritual for sharing our collective grief (for healthcare workers and others)

The broken heart has the capacity to respond to the sorrows of the world with meaning … and love.

Francis Weller

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patron: Robinette Williams; your contributions make all the difference!

Why honoring grief is necessary to save the planet.

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 198 Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth: Finding Wholeness After Loss with Sherry Cormier PhD

Learn about “post-traumatic growth” and how it is possible to thrive after experiencing loss and grief.

PodcastCormier

My guest Sherry Cormier is a licensed psychologist and certified bereavement trauma specialist. She will share with us her personal encounters with loss and grief and how over the years she has managed to grow through her pain. We will also learn about her latest book Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief. Learn more about her work at her website:

http://sherrycormierauthor.com

sweetsorrowcormier

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How talking about death helps with grief
  • Grief healing is not linear but cyclical
  • How grief survivors can thrive after traumatic loss
    • Find community
    • Self-care practices
    • Spiritual practices
    • Do and learn something new
  • Tips for helping a friend or loved one who is grieving
  • The outcome of  “post-traumatic growth”
    • Increased appreciation for life itself
    • New possibilities
    • Increased personal strength
    • More mindful of relationships
    • Spiritual growth
  • Who can benefit from reading her book Sweet Sorrow

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patron: Diane Roberts.

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 153 The Broken Heart: Healing the Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Grief with Michelle Peticolas

Learn about the impact of grief on the body and the emotions and steps you can take to heal your grief when you are ready.

PodcastPeticolas

 

 

MichellePeticolasIn this episode I share an interview with filmmaker and grief counselor Michelle Peticolas who talks about the 3-part film series she created, which is available for use in your community. She also shares her tips on healing from grief and thriving after loss.

Learn more about Michelle’s work here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

A HUGE THANK YOU to my latest contributors on Patreon.com/eolu: Christina Ensminger and Jackie Yeager! I appreciate your generosity and your support so much. If you’d like to join our team go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn how to sign up for as little as $1 per month and receive special bonuses just for patrons!

obrienwebinarIf you missed last week’s webinar with Suzanne O’Brien on “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers” you can still listen to the replay. Go to www.eoluniversity.com/obrien to register and you’ll receive the link to listen in. It was fantastic and I’m sure you will enjoy it!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Michelle Peticolas begins the interview by telling us about her series of 3 films, The Secrets of Life and Death, which deal with facing death, being present with the dying, and grief. These films are now available for public showing and you can go to her website to learn more: www.secretsoflifeanddeath.com

Next we talk about grief and cover the following topics:

  • People in our culture struggle with grief because we have been taught to avoid it
  • Grief triggers both an emotional and a physical response and illness can result from grief that is not addressed
  • The brain needs time to rewire its circuits after the death of a loved one
  • The medical system usually offers drugs for grief symptoms, which don’t help grief actually heal
  • Grief support groups may contribute to ongoing trauma for grievers by stimulating the release of stress hormones over and over again as stories are told and retold
  • Michelle’s 3 tips for thriving after loss:
    • Allow the feelings to arise and learn how to listen to the body
    • Savor support and reach out for connection with others; allow your loved one to love you through others
    • Shift perception of loss and recognize that love and joy are still present even though the person you’ve loved is not physically present

Tune in next week for another new episode. If you enjoy this content please share with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until the next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready          Love Your Life

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EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 140 The Silent Grief of A Young Child After the Death of a Parent with Rachel Stephenson

Learn about the impact of unspoken grief on a young child after the death of a parent and why we need to do a better job addressing grief with children.

PodcastStephenson

Stephenson RachelsmIn this episode I share an interview with Rachel Stephenson, an author, speaker and educator, who shares the story of her mother’s sudden death when she was 5 years old and the lasting impact it has had on her and the lives of her family. Rachel’s TEDx Talk on the same subject has attracted a lot of attention and points out why we need to address grief and loss with children.

Watch Rachel’s TEDx Talk:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously reading group here and join us to read books about death, dying and the afterlife all year long!

Tune in to the 4-part webinar series Demystifying Palliative Care here and learn all about the palliative care team members and their roles.

This episode is being sponsored by Gia’s Healing Chants Album – you’ll hear a selection at the very end of this episode. Click here to learn more and purchase the album.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest is Rachel Stephenson, whose blog “Dear Dead Mother” and recent TEDx Talk have captured a great deal of attention online. We explore the process of grief, particularly for a young child who loses a parent, and how childhood grief differs from that experienced by adults. Rachel is passionate about opening the conversation about grief and loss.

In this interview you will learn:

  • the dangers of grieving in silence as perceived by Rachel
  • the experience of suddenly losing a parent through the eyes of a young child
  • what needs to change in our societal conversation about death
  • how to talk to a child about a death in the family

Rachel Stephenson is a writer, speaker, educator, and university administrator who is living fully with grief. She is currently the University Director of the CUNY Service Corps at The City University of New York, and her professional experience includes designing and implementing innovative experiential education programs in civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development; writing interactive curricula; facilitating/emceeing professional development workshops and special events; fundraising; and more at a range of educational institutions and non-profit organizations in New York City. She is married with three daughters. Though Rachel has not spent her career in the world of grief and bereavement, she has spent her life thinking about her own grief – her mother died suddenly when Rachel was five – and knowing that she would one day revisit her own story to connect with others about navigating loss.

Website: https://deardeadmother.wordpress.com/

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next time:

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

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