EOLPodcast

Ep. 364 What to Do When I’m Gone: Mothers and Daughters on Loss and Grief with Hallie Bateman, Suzy Hopkins, and Gia Snyder

Learn about a charming book of wisdom shared by a mother to her daughter and how it touches on the universal experience of loss and grief.

In this episode I’m welcoming my daughter Gia Snyder as my co-host. Gia is a spiritual teacher and musician, who is currently in nursing school to become an RN. Our special guests are also a mother and daughter pair: Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman. Suzy is a retired journalist who worked for four Northern California newspapers and founded a community magazine in the Sierra Foothills. Hallie is a writer and illustrator based in Los Angeles whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Buzzfeed and many others. Together Suzy and Hallie created the book: What to Do When I’m Gone: A Mother’s Wisdom to Her Daughter. The four of us will discuss the book, our mother-daughter relationships, and how we are all dealing with loss and grief as we navigate life and its changes.

Learn more about Gia’s work at: www.divinelygia.com

Learn more about Hallie’s work at: www.halliebateman.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why Suzy and Hallie decided to write this book
  • The anxiety mothers feel over the prospect of leaving children behind when they die
  • Anticipatory grief experienced by daughters as their mothers age
  • The complicated nature of the mother-daughter relationship
  • The importance of wisdom passed on by mothers to their daughters
  • How we grieve the loss of our mothers differently than others
  • Afterlife communication with our mothers
  • How sharing food together helps us heal
  • Why recipes are a valuable part of the legacy we leave for family members

Links mentioned in this episode:

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If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu and to those who have bought me a coffee and made a donation through Paypal! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 326 The Sweetest Therapy: How Baking Heals Grief with Chase Cassine LCSW

Learn how a grief therapist coped with his own grief by turning to baking and creating a cookbook/grief book.

My guest Chase Cassine is a licensed clinic social worker who proves individual therapy at a local community health clinic in New Orleans where he assists clients through grief, loss, depression, anxiety, adjustment issues, and communication issues. When he himself experienced a devastating loss he turned to baking as a form of solace and ended up creating The Sweetest Therapy, a combination cookbook and grief book. He shares his story, favorite recipes, and tips for baking and for dealing with grief, just in time for the holiday season! Follow Chase on social media:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chasecassine

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chasecassinelcsw

Get The Sweetest Therapy

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Chase’s work at a community health center helping clients with grief
  • Why Chase started baking as a coping mechanism when faced with his own grief
  • Why baking (and other forms of creativity) can be good therapeutic tools during times of loss and grief
  • How Chase ended up ultimately compiling his recipes into a cookbook and including writings about grief and New Orleans culture
  • His favorite recipes and the deeper meaning they have for him
  • How to use cooking and baking as a tool for grief during the holiday season
  • Coping with negative self-talk
  • Tips for being a better baker
  • New Orleans culture and history around funerals and grief: “second lines”

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Blog – 12 Ways to Cope with Grief After Losing a Loved One by Erin Ward
  • Book Bread Therapy: The Mindful Art of Baking Bread by Pauline Beaumont
  • Article – The emotional benefits of cooking and baking

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast, Grief, Spirituality

Ep. 298 Loss Without Sadness: Another View of Grief with Jennifer Mathews

Learn how for some of us it’s possible to experience grief without being sad and why that’s okay.

My guest Jennifer Mathews is a founding member of the Ashland Death Cafe and the Living/Dying Alliance of Southern Oregon. She is on a mission to shift cultural messages that hold us back from joy and to help us rethink grief and how we respond to death. She shares with us why we need to prepare for loss by developing tools that allow us to cope better. Based on her popular TEDxTalk “Death is Inevitable – Grief is Not” she also proposes the controversial idea that grief doesn’t have to be sad and it’s okay for each of us to have our own unique experience after the death of someone close to us. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.JenniferMathews.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What motivated Jennifer to rethink grief in her own life
  • How the language of grief can impact our expectations and experiences of grief
  • How some of our current models of grief may actually shame people who grieve differently for not being “sad enough”
  • There are many ways to respond to death and grief is just one of them
  • Adjusting to the loss of a loved one’s physical presence is not the same as grief
  • Why love does not always equal grief
  • Tools we can develop before a loss occurs to help us when we do encounter loss

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest supporter Judith Hillyard! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Special Episode: Vigil for Coping with Change

On the ninth of each month we have been called to hold space in our communities on life, death and transformation by ObservetheNinth.org. Today’s vigil will hold space for coping with all of the overwhelming changes that have crushed us this past year. May it bring you peace and comfort.

Vigil for Coping with Change
Poem: by Ginny Yurich

From the trees I learned
That growth isn’t orderly.
Under the surface
Roots thrust out in ways
That are chaotic and untidy,
But they produce the solid foundation 
For a lifetime of growth.
 
From the chick,
The butterfly and the frog,
I learned that change is possible,
Even the kind of change
That renders us unrecognizable.
 
And from the garden I learned
That at the end of harvest
When all looks bleak, even dead,
There remains an undercurrent
Of new possibilities.
We can look a little deeper and find
There are always things that thrive 
Even in the harshest of conditions. 
EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 281 Your Grief, Your Way: A Daily Guide After Loss with Shelby Forsythia

Learn about a book of simple wisdom and tools for grief that can change your entire day.

My guest Shelby Forsythia is an author and podcast host who shares a combination of practical tools and intuitive guidance to help grieving people find peace of mind after devastating loss. She discusses her latest book Your Grief, Your Way which provides brief inspirational passages for each day of the year to support the grieving process for anyone who is dealing with loss. This is just the book we all need in 2021! Learn more about her work, podcasts and books at her website:

www.shelbyforsythia.com

Get the book on Bookshop or Amazon

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Shelby’s personal journey with grief
  • How grief is universal but also unique to each person
  • What inspired her to write Your Grief, Your Way as a daily guide
  • Why we can’t find meaning in grief until we are looking back at it from a later time in life
  • Why the whole world needs to do some grief work right now in 2021
  • Some practical and simple tools from the book to get through the day
  • Why we need to share the story of our grief over and over and how the story changes with time
  • How Shelby has stayed in touch with her Mom after her death

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 271 A Month of Gratitude to Bring Light to the Darkness

Learn how a gratitude practice can change your brain and your life for the better according to research.

In this solo episode I share some of the impressive research that has been conducted about the benefits of practicing gratitude on a regular basis. As we continue to face uncertainty, loss, grief, polarization, inequality and divisiveness in our society during this pandemic year we can all use a practice to bring positivity and light into our lives. For this month of November I’m challenging myself (and you) to practice gratitude intentionally every day to shift our energy toward goodness and light and help us better negotiate the challenging times ahead of us. I hope you’ll join me! Download and print the handout below:

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we need more gratitude in our lives right now
  • The emotional benefits of a gratitude practice according to research by the Greater Good Science Center
  • How gratitude improves our physical health and relationships
  • Gratitude is “the mother of all virtues” and helps us develop more patience, humility and wisdom
  • 4 factors of a gratitude practice
    • benefits accrue over time
    • benefits last
    • grateful thoughts and letters don’t have to be shared with others to have a positive effect
    • gratitude rewires the brain
  • 4 ways gratitude creates change
    • focuses us on the present moment
    • overrides negative emotions
    • increases resilience
    • increases our sense of self-worth
  • My 4-week gratitude challenge for November 2020 (download the handout above)

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 259 Crisis Fatigue: How Integral Consciousness Can Help Us Accept One Another

Learn how understanding the integral model can help us cope with crisis and reduce conflict with our fellow humans.

In this solo episode I share some concepts based on Ken Wilber’s integral theory to help us understand why we are at a breaking point in our fragmented society right now. We will look at some new ways of viewing the world and tips for getting through our current crises by strengthening our core values, discerning the truth, and maximizing our ability to make a difference in the world without becoming exhausted.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Three conflicting perspectives on life and the world that are fragmenting our society
    • Traditional – “The Good”
    • Rational – “The True”
    • Pluralistic – “The Beautiful”
  • The positive and negative aspects of each perspective
  • Why each perspective dislikes and distrusts the other two perspectives
  • How the Integral Perspective transcends and includes each of the other three perspectives (The Good, The True, and The Beautiful)
  • Tips for maintaining an Integral Perspective
    • Focus on your core values (what really matters), strengthen them and learn to return to your core during times of stress
    • Find the truth by learning to listen to your intuition
    • Care for yourself and others by learning to prioritize your efforts
    • Manage your fear and anger
    • Take actions that are clear, focused, impactful, vetted
    • Preserve your energy for the long haul
  • How Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can help you decide where to put your energy
  • Why we are susceptible to conspiracy theories during times of great stress

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Debi Schauss. Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 257 Coping with Unexpected Change in an Uncertain World

Learn how to build resiliency to better cope with the overwhelming changes taking place in the world right now.

In this solo episode I talk about the necessity of change in life and what happens when the amount of change we are forced to deal with exceeds our capacity to manage it. I share some thoughts about the consequences of “change fatigue” and how to increase our resiliency to better deal with and grow from the experience of unexpected and unwanted change.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we resist change
  • Why change is essential for growth
  • The “Bucket Theory” of change
  • The consequences of “change fatigue”
  • The 6 building blocks of resilience:
    • Values and beliefs
    • Meaning and purpose
    • Mindset
    • Relationships
    • Physical health
    • Emotional health
  • Tips for strengthening your own “building blocks”
  • Lessons from the dying for coping with change

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world …

the master calls a butterfly.”

– Richard Bach

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • IANDS 2020 Virtual Conference
  • Get my book here7 Lessons for Living from the Dying
  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Spirituality, Tragedy

BONUS 10: Love Over Fear – Stories for Precarious Tims

Welcome to this weekly bonus series of brief stories designed to touch your heart and offer you comfort, joy, laughter, and inspiration as we face uncertain times together! Remember always to choose LOVE over fear!

Story 10: What Life is Bringing Me Now

What Life is Bringing Me Now

Featured Quote:

Viktor Frankl – Man’s Search for Meaning pp. 98-99

What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. … Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual. … When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.”

Viktor Frankl
EOLPodcast, Grief, Tragedy

Ep. 241 Life in Italy During the Pandemic: Coping with Loss and Isolation with Claire Duiker PhD

Learn how people in Italy are coping with the COVID-19 pandemic and what they would like us to know as we follow a similar path.

For the past few weeks we’ve been hearing heartbreaking reports from Italy about the devastation caused by COVID-19 and the efforts there to stop the spread of the virus. My special guest this week is my friend Claire Duiker who lives in Florence, Italy and will give us a personal view of day-to-day life under lockdown in her community. She shares her own coping process and what we can learn from Italy’s long history of suffering due to wars, plagues and invasions. Claire is a tour guide who is usually traveling this time of year in her job with Customwalks.com.

Listen here:

Life in Italy During the Pandemic

This episode includes:

  • The current status of the COVID-19 pandemic in Italy
  • What life is like for Claire under lockdown
  • How she is coping with her own stages of grief and loss while being isolated
  • The magnitude of this global event and why it is a privilege to witness history-in-the-making
  • How Italy’s long history of suffering through wars, plagues and invasions has led to a legacy of resilience
  • How the family-centered people of Italy are coping with being separated from dying loved ones
  • How isolation can help us confront our own egos and gradually become better people

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination …”

Mary Oliver – Wild Geese

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 198 Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth: Finding Wholeness After Loss with Sherry Cormier PhD

Learn about “post-traumatic growth” and how it is possible to thrive after experiencing loss and grief.

PodcastCormier

My guest Sherry Cormier is a licensed psychologist and certified bereavement trauma specialist. She will share with us her personal encounters with loss and grief and how over the years she has managed to grow through her pain. We will also learn about her latest book Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief. Learn more about her work at her website:

http://sherrycormierauthor.com

sweetsorrowcormier

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How talking about death helps with grief
  • Grief healing is not linear but cyclical
  • How grief survivors can thrive after traumatic loss
    • Find community
    • Self-care practices
    • Spiritual practices
    • Do and learn something new
  • Tips for helping a friend or loved one who is grieving
  • The outcome of  “post-traumatic growth”
    • Increased appreciation for life itself
    • New possibilities
    • Increased personal strength
    • More mindful of relationships
    • Spiritual growth
  • Who can benefit from reading her book Sweet Sorrow

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patron: Diane Roberts.

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 178 Poems and Rituals: A Tribute to Mary Oliver and Megory Anderson

This special episode is to honor the memories of two very special women who changed the world around them in different ways throughout their lives and died on the same day.

podcastmegory

maryoliverOn Thursday January 17, 2019 we learned of the deaths of two women who have contributed much to our understanding of the sacred in nature and in death. Mary Oliver is a beloved American poet whose love of nature inspired her beautiful verses. Her poems reveal the heart of humanity through the natural cycle of life and death she observed during her time spent in the out-of-doors. She authored many books of poetry including Blue Iris, Wild Geese,  At Blackwater Pond, and Why I Wake Early and was honored with numerous awards throughout her career.

megoryandersonDr. Megory Anderson trained in comparative religions and theology and founded the Sacred Dying Foundation in 1996. She is the author of the books Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life and Attending the Dying. Megory trained many end-of-life caregivers and professionals from diverse medical, religious, and cultural backgrounds. Megory’s presence will be deeply missed by everyone who has been touched by her love and compassion.

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • A reading and discussion of Mary Oliver’s poem In Blackwater Woods
  • How Mary Oliver’s poetry helped me through times of grief
  • A Q&A session with Megory Anderson about her book Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life; recorded for A Year of Reading Dangerously on May 30, 2018
  • Megory’s thoughts on making even mundane moments of life sacred
  • How to incorporate sacred ritual into the practice of medicine
  • How rituals help us become more present to life
  • The grounding provided by sacred objects
  • How to vigil with a dying loved one
  • A ritual for healing grief and guilt over a suicide death
  • Creating a Sacred Dying Journal to tell others what brings meaning to our lives
  • An excerpt from Mary Oliver’s poem When Death Comes

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu!