EOLPodcast, Grief, Spirituality

Ep. 298 Loss Without Sadness: Another View of Grief with Jennifer Mathews

Learn how for some of us it’s possible to experience grief without being sad and why that’s okay.

My guest Jennifer Mathews is a founding member of the Ashland Death Cafe and the Living/Dying Alliance of Southern Oregon. She is on a mission to shift cultural messages that hold us back from joy and to help us rethink grief and how we respond to death. She shares with us why we need to prepare for loss by developing tools that allow us to cope better. Based on her popular TEDxTalk “Death is Inevitable – Grief is Not” she also proposes the controversial idea that grief doesn’t have to be sad and it’s okay for each of us to have our own unique experience after the death of someone close to us. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.JenniferMathews.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What motivated Jennifer to rethink grief in her own life
  • How the language of grief can impact our expectations and experiences of grief
  • How some of our current models of grief may actually shame people who grieve differently for not being “sad enough”
  • There are many ways to respond to death and grief is just one of them
  • Adjusting to the loss of a loved one’s physical presence is not the same as grief
  • Why love does not always equal grief
  • Tools we can develop before a loss occurs to help us when we do encounter loss

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest supporter Judith Hillyard! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Special Episode: Vigil for Coping with Change

On the ninth of each month we have been called to hold space in our communities on life, death and transformation by ObservetheNinth.org. Today’s vigil will hold space for coping with all of the overwhelming changes that have crushed us this past year. May it bring you peace and comfort.

Vigil for Coping with Change
Poem: by Ginny Yurich

From the trees I learned
That growth isn’t orderly.
Under the surface
Roots thrust out in ways
That are chaotic and untidy,
But they produce the solid foundation 
For a lifetime of growth.
 
From the chick,
The butterfly and the frog,
I learned that change is possible,
Even the kind of change
That renders us unrecognizable.
 
And from the garden I learned
That at the end of harvest
When all looks bleak, even dead,
There remains an undercurrent
Of new possibilities.
We can look a little deeper and find
There are always things that thrive 
Even in the harshest of conditions. 
EOLPodcast

Ep. 271 A Month of Gratitude to Bring Light to the Darkness

Learn how a gratitude practice can change your brain and your life for the better according to research.

In this solo episode I share some of the impressive research that has been conducted about the benefits of practicing gratitude on a regular basis. As we continue to face uncertainty, loss, grief, polarization, inequality and divisiveness in our society during this pandemic year we can all use a practice to bring positivity and light into our lives. For this month of November I’m challenging myself (and you) to practice gratitude intentionally every day to shift our energy toward goodness and light and help us better negotiate the challenging times ahead of us. I hope you’ll join me! Download and print the handout below:

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we need more gratitude in our lives right now
  • The emotional benefits of a gratitude practice according to research by the Greater Good Science Center
  • How gratitude improves our physical health and relationships
  • Gratitude is “the mother of all virtues” and helps us develop more patience, humility and wisdom
  • 4 factors of a gratitude practice
    • benefits accrue over time
    • benefits last
    • grateful thoughts and letters don’t have to be shared with others to have a positive effect
    • gratitude rewires the brain
  • 4 ways gratitude creates change
    • focuses us on the present moment
    • overrides negative emotions
    • increases resilience
    • increases our sense of self-worth
  • My 4-week gratitude challenge for November 2020 (download the handout above)

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 259 Crisis Fatigue: How Integral Consciousness Can Help Us Accept One Another

Learn how understanding the integral model can help us cope with crisis and reduce conflict with our fellow humans.

In this solo episode I share some concepts based on Ken Wilber’s integral theory to help us understand why we are at a breaking point in our fragmented society right now. We will look at some new ways of viewing the world and tips for getting through our current crises by strengthening our core values, discerning the truth, and maximizing our ability to make a difference in the world without becoming exhausted.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Three conflicting perspectives on life and the world that are fragmenting our society
    • Traditional – “The Good”
    • Rational – “The True”
    • Pluralistic – “The Beautiful”
  • The positive and negative aspects of each perspective
  • Why each perspective dislikes and distrusts the other two perspectives
  • How the Integral Perspective transcends and includes each of the other three perspectives (The Good, The True, and The Beautiful)
  • Tips for maintaining an Integral Perspective
    • Focus on your core values (what really matters), strengthen them and learn to return to your core during times of stress
    • Find the truth by learning to listen to your intuition
    • Care for yourself and others by learning to prioritize your efforts
    • Manage your fear and anger
    • Take actions that are clear, focused, impactful, vetted
    • Preserve your energy for the long haul
  • How Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can help you decide where to put your energy
  • Why we are susceptible to conspiracy theories during times of great stress

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Debi Schauss. Your contributions make all the difference!

EOLPodcast

Ep. 257 Coping with Unexpected Change in an Uncertain World

Learn how to build resiliency to better cope with the overwhelming changes taking place in the world right now.

In this solo episode I talk about the necessity of change in life and what happens when the amount of change we are forced to deal with exceeds our capacity to manage it. I share some thoughts about the consequences of “change fatigue” and how to increase our resiliency to better deal with and grow from the experience of unexpected and unwanted change.

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • Why we resist change
  • Why change is essential for growth
  • The “Bucket Theory” of change
  • The consequences of “change fatigue”
  • The 6 building blocks of resilience:
    • Values and beliefs
    • Meaning and purpose
    • Mindset
    • Relationships
    • Physical health
    • Emotional health
  • Tips for strengthening your own “building blocks”
  • Lessons from the dying for coping with change

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world …

the master calls a butterfly.”

– Richard Bach

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • IANDS 2020 Virtual Conference
  • Get my book here7 Lessons for Living from the Dying
  • Subscribe to this podcast on AppleGoogleSpotifyiHeart RadioStitcher Radio
  • Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
  • Join the team at Patreon.com/eolu and get access to the EOLU mug“Mind if we talk about death?” (only Patrons can purchase it). PLUS get our new bonuses: the monthly EOL News Update, movie reviews from 2 Doctors and a Movie, and automatic access to A Year of Reading Dangerously!

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!