Tag: complicated grief

EOLPodcast

Ep. 342 The Grieving Brain: The Science of Love and Loss with Mary-Frances O’Connor PhD

kwyattmd

Learn how the brain changes and learns in response to loss and grief.

My guest Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She discusses her book The Grieving Brain that highlights her research on the changes that occur in the brain during the grief process and how we can go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving. Learn more at her website:

www.maryfrancesoconnor.com

Get the book The Grieving Brain

Watch the video on YouTube

Read the transcript

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How the brain has to create a new “map” of reality after a loved one dies
  • Why the second year of grieving might be harder than the first
  • Why understanding the changes taking place in the brain can help us have more compassion for ourselves
  • How funeral rituals can be helpful for accepting the new reality that the brain must grasp
  • The difference between grief and grieving
  • How grief changes who you are and how you live in the world
  • Why guilt is a common emotion after a death
  • What is “complicated grief”
  • Why the experience of loss will continue to arise for us over and over again throughout life
  • What is the feeling of “yearning” and how does the brain contribute to it
  • Social connectedness is one of the most important coping skills for grieving
  • How to create an emotional “toolkit” that can help us cope with loss and grief (flexibility, presence, trying new experiences)
  • How grief can unite us and connect us with all of humanity

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest patrons Christina Alleva and Teresa Putnam! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 322 Dealing with Disenfranchised Grief in a Polarized Society

kwyattmd

Learn some helpful tools for dealing with grief even when it seems out of order or controversial.

In this episode I talk about things I’ve learned from my guests over the past two years about dealing with grief during the COVID pandemic. I share clips from two special episodes and lots of resources to help with grief, particularly “disenfranchised” grief that seems to be occurring frequently in our polarized, angry, judgmental society. Let’s all work on our own grief and show more lovingkindness to others who are grieving right now too!

Listen here:

This episode includes:

Additional links:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference.

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 209 How Religion Can Harm the Grief Process with Rev. Dr. Terri Daniel

kwyattmd

Learn how our beliefs can become an obstacle to healing and growth during times of trauma and grief. 

PodcastDaniel19

My guest Terri Daniel is an interfaith clinical chaplain, certified trauma specialist, end-of-life educator, and the founder of the Afterlife Awareness Conference. She recently published a new book titled Grief and God, which explores the ways in which religion and “toxic theology” can interfere with the healing process after a profound loss. She’ll share some key takeaways and stories from her extensive research on this important subject.  Learn more at Terri’s website:

www.danieldirect.net 

griefandgod

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • The elements of “toxic theology”
  • How religious beliefs based on toxic theology can increase guilt, fear of death, and complicated grief
  • Types of complicated grief
  • Why platitudes like “thoughts and prayers” no longer suffice after sudden trauma
  • Non-directed vs. directed prayer
  • A “healing prayer” for times of difficulty and trauma
  • Tools for dealing with complicated grief
    • ceremony and ritual
    • art therapy
    • narrative therapy
  • Why talking about grief doesn’t help without ceremony or ritual

Links mentioned in this interview:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron, Susan Glogovac–your contribution means  everything to me!

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Grief

Ep. 94 Finding Joy in the Midst of Grief

kwyattmd

How I got joy back into my life after my father’s suicide death.

podcastjoy

Wyatt18smallThis episode is a follow-up to the 8-part series I presented on my father’s suicide death (episodes 85-92). I will look at the factors involved that helped me eventually find joy in my life once again.

You can read the companion blog for this podcast at www.eoluniversityblog.com.

 

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776You can help support this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series by making a donation at my Patreon page: www.Patreon.com/eolu. This week I would like to thank my newest supporters: Melissa Neeley and Jozie Rabyor. You are awesome! Your support means everything to me. Also last week’s supporter Laurie Dinerstein-Kurs has asked me to promote Death Cafe as a thank-you for her donation. Go to DeathCafe.com to learn more about the movement, download a guideline for starting your own Cafe, or find a Death Cafe near you to attend!

Finally as promised, the Patreon donations have reached $50 per month so I am scheduling the first Hospice Happy Hour for Patreon supporters! It will take place on Friday June 23rd at 3 pm Pacific/6 pm Eastern. We’ll “hangout” together, talk about death, offer support to one another, and answer questions. If you are a current donor you’ll receive the call-in information by email. If you are interested you can become a donor too by going to Patreon.com/eolu!

Today I’ll be sharing with you my insights on how I moved through the pain of grief and guilt and managed (over many years time) to recover a quiet joy in my life. Here’s the list of factors that helped me:

  • Patience. I needed to recognize that grief has its own timing (and its different for everyone.) I had to let me grief follow its own path and unfold in its own way.
  • Stillness. Over time I developed my capacity to experience stillness within through a practice of contemplation and meditation. I discovered that joy arises in the stillness so this step was essential in order for me to ultimately feel joyful again.
  • Facing emotions. For many years I repressed all of my negative emotions about my father’s death because they were too frightening and dark for me. But it was necessary for me to face up to those emotions and embrace them with love in order to make room for joy to return.
  • Allowing change. I learned that I had to allow my grief and pain to change everything about me in order to move through it and discover joy again. My resistance to change kept me stuck in grief for many years and unable to move on.
  • Letting go of expectations. I had to alter my assumptions about how joy would show up in my life and recognize that it would arrive as one tiny droplet at a time. Joy for me now is quiet and serene.

Thanks for tuning in to the podcast! Send me a message or your questions for the Happy Hour at my email address karen@karenwyattmd.com or Tweet me at @spiritualmd!

Until next week remember:

Face Your Fears.                         BE Ready.                        Love Your Life.

Love,

karen-signature

 

SaveSave

EOLPodcast

Ep. 92 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 8

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 8: The Fire Ceremony

candle-1379465_640

suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • What I’ve learned about my Dad through my investigations
  • The “Tapestry Dream” that changed how I saw everything in my life
  • The hard lessons I learned through hospice work
  • How I recognized that Dad had been my silent partner through all of my grief journey including writing the book What Really Matters
  • The Fire Ceremony: A ritual for healing my Dad’s trauma and my own
  • The song The Sun is Shining for You by Gia (used by permission)
  • Closing comments about this podcast and farewell
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

Highest blessings and deepest love to you!

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 91 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 7

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 7: Omaha Beach

omahabeach

suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • Exploring Dad’s memorabilia from World War II
  • How indigenous cultures hear the stories of their warriors in order to share in their pain
  • My travels to Iceland and Normandy to retrace Dad’s steps in World War II
  • What I learned about the pain of war on my journey
  • A healing dream about my Dad
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 90 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 6

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 6: The Purple Heart

purpleheart

suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • How hospice work help me get “unstuck” on my grief journey
  • How I uncovered my anger at my Dad and my need to forgive him for taking his life
  • The “secret” my Aunt Lena told me about Dad and World War II
  • What I learned from psychiatrist Dr. Jeff Black who treats war veterans for trauma and “soul loss”
  • The RAIN formula from Jack Kornfeld for healing trauma:
    • Recognize the effect the trauma has had on your life
    • Acknowledge and accept the pain you are experiencing
    • Investigate the patterns
    • Non-attachment to the “story” of the trauma
  • Poem: “Griefwork”
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 89 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 5

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 5: Guns

guns-467710_1280


suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

timemagThis episode consists of:
-Dad’s passion for guns and hunting

-A Time Magazine Article from July 1989 about Death by Gun

-Statistics on suicide deaths by guns and gun ownership in the U.S.

–Suicide statistics in Wyoming

-Poem: “Shattered” 

-A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 88 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 4

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 4: The Bicycle

bike-372902__480


suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • Dad’s difficult childhood
  • How Adverse Childhood Experiences are associated with suicide in adulthood
  • Low self-esteem as a factor in Dad’s death
  • The ongoing guilt experienced by suicide survivors over missed clues
  • An excerpt from my story: “Two Souls in cognito” 
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 87 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 3

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 3: Tough Times

toughtimes


suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • The stigma attached to suicide
  • When friends fail to offer support after a suicide death
  • Financial stress as a factor for suicide in older men
  • Why helping doesn’t always require words
  • The song “Without You” by Gia 
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 86 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 2

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 2: The Funeral

funeral

suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • My father’s funeral
  • The surprising number of visitors who attended the funeral
  • Stories of my father that were shared after his death
  • Information about suicide and men facing retirement
  • Guilt and grief felt by suicide survivors
  • My encounter with a meadowlark at my father’s graveside
  • An excerpt from the song “Scary Monster” by Gia (my daughter who was present at the graveside as an infant)
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 85 Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath: Part 1

kwyattmd

Suicideblog_

The story of my long journey of healing after my father’s suicide death – told in a series of 8 episodes.

Part 1: The Phone Call

phone-1506530_1280

suicide lifelineIf you are currently experiencing a crisis or feeling hopeless please know that you are not alone. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support available 24/7 for people in distress:

1-800-273-8255

or Text HELLO to 741-741.

This episode consists of:

  • Introduction to the podcast
  • The day I learned of my father’s death
  • The shock and grief experienced by the survivors of a suicide death
  • Statistics about suicide in the U.S.
  • A blessing by John O’donahue “FOR THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF A SUICIDE” (Click the link to download the blessing.)
  • A message of hope for those grieving a suicide and for anyone who might be considering suicide at this time:

Please don’t give up. There is light in the darkness, there is love for you, there is grace. I have survived and I am here to spread hope.

karen-signature

Please call 1-800-273-8255 for help if you are thinking about suicide.

Click here to talk with someone now.

suicideLogo-with-ribbon

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/end-of-life-university/id1033282990

Sign up here for the End-of-Life University mailing list. Visit the EOLU website.