EOLPodcast

Ep. 248 The Human Journey: A Game for Families Facing Change with Sara Schneider PhD

Learn about an innovative game that helps families improve communication and face grief and change together.

My guest Sara Schneider is trained as a performance anthropologist and also has a background in writing and directing for the theatre. She is the creator of a unique game titled The Human Journey® which helps families and support groups develop the capacity for meaning-making and communication skills in the heart of change. Sara will discuss how this game can help families deal with grief in the face of change and loss. Learn more at her website:

www.the-human-journey.com

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • How games and storytelling can be helpful for healing
  • How the Hero’s/Heroine’s Journey informs our personal and societal storytelling
  • The 3 “acts” of The Human Journey:
    • I: the struggles and strengths dealt to us in life
    • II: the hard decisions we have had to make in life
    • III: re-imagining the future
  • How COVID-19 may be calling all of us to a “Hero’s Journey” to rediscover our interconnectedness
  • How families can play The Human Journey game in person and virtually to help them communicate and heal
  • How the game can benefit families with a loved one in hospice and who are distant from one another
  • Why a facilitator or “conductor” is necessary for the game
  • How to get training to be a conductor for the game and lead people through it

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Your contributions make all the difference!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 208 Nothing to Do: A Film About Everyday Miracles at the End of Life with Mike Kravinsky

Learn about a feature film that traces the story of a family’s conflict and ultimate resolution as their father reaches the end of life.

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My guest Mike Kravinsky is the writer and director of this feature film that was inspired by his own father’s end-of-life journey. He discusses why and how he created the film and the impact it is having on viewers across the country. You can view this award-winning film, Nothing To Do, on Amazon Prime, iTunes and the Dish Network and it is also available for borrowing from local libraries.

Connect with the film on Facebook.

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View the film here.

Listen to the podcast:

 

This episode includes:

  • The growing interest in feature films that focus on death and grief
  • How nothing prepares a person for caring for a loved one at the end of life
  • How this film accurately portrays family tension and conflict when dealing with end-of-life decisions
  • The importance of having conversations about these decisions earlier during the end-of-life process
  • How Mike turned real life experiences into a fictional movie
  • What some end-of-life films get wrong about the dying process, which consists of a great deal of waiting and uncertainty
  • How the film portrays the beauty of dying at home with hospice care
  • How being present for the death of a loved one helps us with our own fears of death
  • Why Nothing to Do would be a great choice for an end-of-life film night

Links mentioned in this episode:

Art of Dying Author Series_ September 6, 2019 7-8_30 pm

Join me in New York in September!!

 

 

 

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron, Jean Berman–your contribution means  everything to me!

 

EOLPodcast

Ep. 184 Caring for a Loved One with Dementia with Kathy Flora

Learn some helpful advice for being a caregiver for a patient with dementia.

PodcastFlora

Today I talk with Kathy Flora who has served as her mother’s caregiver as she has journeyed through dementia. Kathy shares her wisdom and advice for those who find themselves in a similar role with a parent or other loved one. She is the author of the book “Walking My Momma Home: Finding Love, Grace, and Acceptance Through the Labyrinth of Dementia.” Learn more at Kathy’s website:

www.kathyflora.com

WalkingMomma

Get the book here.

Listen here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENT:

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“Mind if we talk about death?”

Join our team and you’ll be eligible to purchase the mug!

Support EOLU by signing up today and receive additional special bonuses!

This interview with Kathy Flora includes:

  • How to recognize when an elderly loved one is declining if you live far away
  • How to talk to a loved one about necessary life changes such as giving up driving, managing finances, and living independently
  • The difference between an independent living facility and assisted living
  • How to deal with role reversal as our parents age
  • The “long goodbye of dementia” and coping with anticipatory grief
  • Who should be on a caregiver’s “essential team”
  • How to maintain relationships and communication with siblings who live at a distance
  • The hidden blessings from caring for a loved one with dementia

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron Kate Riley!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast, Spirituality

Ep. 142 It’s Complicated: Mother-Daughter Relationships at the End of Life with Kate Riley

Learn how mothers and daughters cope with their changing roles as the end of life nears.

PodcastRiley

KateRileyIn this episode I share an interview with Kate Riley, author and death midwife, about our own relationships with our mothers and how they changed as we provided care to them at the end of life.  Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there listening!

Learn more about Kate’s work here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Thank you to my latest sponsor on Patreon.com/eolu: Marilyn Stoner. Thank you for support and thanks to all of my patrons – I appreciate your generosity very much!!

This episode is brought to you by my course Get Over it For Good: Healing the Hidden Wounds of Childhood. Learn to get over events from the past that keep you stuck and unable to grow. This is a self-study course that helps you identify your hidden wounds and discover the wisdom you can gain from them. Platinum supporters on Patreon.com/eolu will receive a 30% discount on the course! Learn more about the course here.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest Kate Riley and I discuss the joys and challenges of daughters who care for their mothers at the end of life. Kate was the caregiver for her mother during the last 9 months of her life and shares her insights about that process.

In this interview you will learn:

  • The ups and downs of the caregiver journey
  • The benefits of presence at the end of life
  • How meditation helps with preparation for death
  • Death has its own mysterious timing
  • The pain of letting go of our mothers and being let go of by them
  • How caregiving helps us heal our relationships
  • Advice for daughters caring for their mothers

Kate Riley is a certified death midwife, minister, international story consultant, author and educator. She began private practice in compassionate end-of-life care after completing hospice training in the late 1980s. She serves as a liaison for individuals facing end-of-life decisions, working with their families and medical teams in providing a more person-centered approach. She encourages and supports those who want to take a conscious, active role in their own dying process. She is the author of The Green Velvet Journals and Launching Vee’s Chariot: An End-of-Life Tale. Kate lives in the Wood River Valley of Idaho—a great place to find balance in all of life’s stages. Her advanced training includes death midwife/doula certification through Final Passages and current enrollment in the California State University Palliative Care Chaplaincy program.

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes. Until next week:

Face Your Fear         BE Ready         Love Your Life

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EOLPodcast, Hospice, Spirituality

Ep. 77 Managing Family Conflict at the End of Life

What do you do when a family (your own or a patient’s) is crumbling due to unhealed resentments and irreconcilable differences? Find out now.

conflictpodcast

 

In today’s episode I’ll share my best tips for helping families move through conflict toward resolution during stressful times like the death of a loved one. I’ve had lots of experience with this work during my years as a hospice doctor so be prepared for a longer-than-usual episode!

Announcements:

slide01My new course Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning is almost ready for release (just a few days away as I record this!) The course is simple yet comprehensive and will help you examine your mindset, values, beliefs, and fears about death before you make decisions about your end-of-life healthcare. Go to eoluniversity.com/roadmap to learn more and sign up to be notified as soon as the course is released.

Sponsorship:

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776This podcast is sponsored through the EOLU donation page at Patreon.com/eolu. By contributing just $1 or $2 per month you can help support the podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series. If you  become a supporter I will happily promote your book, website, cause or organization on a future episode of the podcast! THANK YOU to all current patrons!!

Managing Family Conflict at the End of Life:

Families facing the death of a loved one are particularly prone to be divided by the resurgence of old conflicts and resentments. Over my years as a hospice doctor I have seen many families split apart by their differences at a time when they most need to be united.

Most of these families had longstanding grievances that had been buried and ignored over the years, only to rise to the surface under the stress of a loved one’s death. Sibling rivalries, parental favoritism, divorce, and competition for inheritances are the most common reasons for these resentments. In addition many families are also divided over religious and political differences, which is an especially prevalent problem right now.

One of the important functions of hospice staff members and other end-of-life workers is to assist splintered families with healing and resolution of their conflicts, whenever possible. But sometimes we are called to assist our own families when challenges arise. Here are some tips for being a peacemaker for a fractured family:

  • Remain neutral on the issues of conflict. As much as possible leave your own biases, preferences and beliefs at the door if you hope to help resolve a disagreement. This will be much easier if you are not emotionally entangled in the conflict. But even if you are, you need to learn to become a “Witness” to the situation (a higher state of consciousness that allows you remain detached.)
  • Listen to all sides of the argument. Spend time with each person involved in the conflict until you can grasp their perspective. If you are part of the disagreement then at least try to understand the point of view of the others involved in the situation. As soon as you begin to understand how and why the others feel the way they do then you have taken a huge step toward reconciliation.
  • Avoid trigger topics. Political and religious differences may complicate family conflicts at the end of life but are usually not reconcilable. So it is best to “agree to disagree” about these points of view and set them aside so that the focus can be on healing other issues.
  • Be present. By staying calm and unemotional you can prevent the conflict from escalating into an all-out war. Practice mindfulness to help strengthen your ability to be present so that your own emotions don’t flare up when you are trying to help others.
  • Find common ground. As you listen carefully to the stories of each opponent in the disagreement you may recognize certain common threads–areas where they actually share the same perspective without realizing it. Gather these threads so that you can remind those in conflict that are some things they have in common. Help them untie around the things that matter most (like doing what’s best for their loved one.)
  • Learn the wishes of the dying loved one (if possible.) If you can still communicate with the patient you may find out that she has a wish for her family to reconcile. You can use this wish to help draw the combatants together in their desire to please and comfort the one they love. Let the patient’s wishes become a “magnet” around which the rest of the family gradually comes together.
  • Have patience. Don’t try to force a reconciliation by rushing into a family conference or intervention. Allow for some separation initially and let the gaps between individuals gradually begin to close.

The bottom line is that families who don’t wait until the end of life to resolve their differences have a much easier time negotiating the challenges of death and dying. But that’s not the case for most families. Most are left to rehash old sibling issues, betrayals, disappointments, and wounds during the last days of their loved one’s life when they should be sitting at the bedside offering love and comfort.

Start working through your own resentments now–practice love and forgiveness earlier in life and your final days will be blessed. If you need extra help consider checking out the Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning or the book What Really Matters. You’ll find guidance and support from me for your journey!

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Tune in every Monday for a new episode! Until next week remember:

Face Your Fears.                 BE Ready.                   Love Your Life.

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