Learn about a powerful book that has been helping people heal their relationships at the end of life for almost 20 years.
My special guest Dr. Ira Byock is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. We discuss his seminal book The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living, which will reach its 20th anniversary next year. Each time I’ve interviewed Dr. Byock in the past I’ve received numerous messages from listeners letting me know how influential this book has been in their work. So it’s time we talked about all the wisdom it contains. Learn more about Dr. Byock’s work and all of his books at his website:
This episode includes:
- What inspired Dr. Byock to write the book
- What “the four things” are (and why there used to be 5 things)
- Why it makes a difference to simply say these four things
- The importance of forgiveness at the end of life and why people shouldn’t wait until their deathbed to practice it
- How to use “the four things” if your loved one has already died
- What to do when you need to make peace with a loved one with dementia
- How the lessons from this book have made a difference to Dr. Byock
Links mentioned in this episode:
- Blog: How Virtual Reality Transformed My Ordinary Reality
- Sign up for aNUma’s Clear Light Program here: https://anuma.com/trial
- Previous episode with Gregory Roufa and Lama Karma from aNUma: Episode 389
- Get the reader’s guide for The Four Things That Matter Most here
- Get EOLU Podcast Merch here
- Conversations on Death with ChatGPT – Audiobook here; Print Book here
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- Support your local bookstore by buying my books on Bookshop and Indiebound: 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying and The Journey from Ego to Soul
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- Check out the Series I’ve recorded in the past here
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If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially Kelly Bean for increasing your pledge, and to Madeleine for buying me 5 coffees! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.
In this episode I share my thoughts about the importance of forgiveness and why you shouldn’t wait until the end of life to start practicing it. I’ve been working on it all my adult life and I can guarantee you it’s a worthwhile endeavor!
For the month of April I’m hosting the 
If you are interested in teaching a death and dying class at some point in the future you can download the Teaching Guidelines 