EOLPodcast

Ep. 411 The Four Things That Matter Most with Dr. Ira Byock

Learn about a powerful book that has been helping people heal their relationships at the end of life for almost 20 years.

My special guest Dr. Ira Byock is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. We discuss his seminal book The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living, which will reach its 20th anniversary next year. Each time I’ve interviewed Dr. Byock in the past I’ve received numerous messages from listeners letting me know how influential this book has been in their work. So it’s time we talked about all the wisdom it contains. Learn more about Dr. Byock’s work and all of his books at his website:

http://www.irabyock.org

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What inspired Dr. Byock to write the book
  • What “the four things” are (and why there used to be 5 things)
  • Why it makes a difference to simply say these four things
  • The importance of forgiveness at the end of life and why people shouldn’t wait until their deathbed to practice it
  • How to use “the four things” if your loved one has already died
  • What to do when you need to make peace with a loved one with dementia
  • How the lessons from this book have made a difference to Dr. Byock

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially Kelly Bean for increasing your pledge, and to Madeleine for buying me 5 coffees! Your contributions make all the difference and ensure this podcast stays ad-free.

EOLPodcast, mortal wisdom, Spirituality

Ep. 189 How to Move Beyond Outrage and Forgive Everything

Learn the importance of forgiveness for moving forward in society, personal life, and spiritual growth.

Podcast19Forgiveness

In Part 5 of the Mortal Wisdom Series I’ll discuss why Forgiveness is an especially important skill to learn in the midst of our culture of constant outrage. We cannot solve today’s problems unless we learn how to lay down the bitterness and resentment that keep our energy stuck in the past. These are the lessons we can learn from our mortality and how to thrive in life while knowing that death awaits. Listen to Parts 1, 2, 3  and 4 first if you haven’t heard them yet!

Mortalwisdom

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • Why there is so much outrage in our society today
  • Why we need to remember our interconnectedness and interdependence in order to solve the problems we are facing
  • How hospice patients focus on forgiveness as they face the end of life
  • How forgiveness benefits health, relationships and spiritual growth
  • Why forgiveness should be an intentional, daily practice
  • Tools for practicing forgiveness
    • Journaling
    • the “4-View” Process for forgiveness
    • Ho’oponopono

Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower gives when it is crushed.

-Anonymous

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new Patrons, Mary Ellen Shea and Jan Wessell and to Licha Kelley-King for upping your pledge!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 137 Why You Should Forgive Now Rather Than On Your Deathbed

Learn why and how to start a forgiveness practice now instead of waiting until your last days.

PodcastForgiveness

dove-2516641_640In this episode I share my thoughts about the importance of forgiveness and why you shouldn’t wait until the end of life to start practicing it. I’ve been working on it all my adult life and I can guarantee you it’s a worthwhile endeavor!

Read the companion blog here.

Download the Forgiveness Tool Kit.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

decisionsignFor the month of April I’m hosting the 10-day S.M.A.R.T. Decisions Challenge to help you get your advance directives completed in honor of National Healthcare Decisions Day. You’ll be guided step-by-step to figure out what really matters to you so that you can utilize that information as you fill out your living will and healthcare proxy forms. Sign up here.

 

Slide01If you are interested in teaching a death and dying class at some point in the future you can download the Teaching Guidelines here! When you sign up you’ll be on the mailing list to learn about the upcoming Work Group and Mastermind for death and dying teachers!

Get the Guidelines here.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Many of my hospice patients have been concerned about practicing forgiveness before they died. I sat with them at their bedsides as they struggled to let go of their anger and bitterness so that they could die in peace.

But I learned that it is possible to start the process of forgiveness now so that the task will be much easier at the end of life. Here are some of the mindset shifts I’ve found are helpful as you learn to forgive (listen to the episode to hear the details):

  • Life is a classroom – you can learn from any experience
  • You are not entitled to a life free from difficulties
  • The past no longer exists except in your memory where you keep negative events alive
  • It’s not your job to punish those who have harmed you (and trying to do that just hurts you even more)
  • You can make yourself whole again without getting an apology
  • The 4-View Forgiveness can help you get a broader perspective on past events
  • Simple rituals can help you let go of the past

Get the Forgiveness Tool Kit to learn more about strategies for practicing forgiveness on a daily basis so that you will be free of the burden of resentment at the end of life. Sign up for the kit here.

Tune in every Monday for a new episode! Leave a review on iTunes if you like this content (it really makes a difference) and go to Patreon.com/eolu if you’d like to become a supporter!

Until next week remember …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

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