Month: June 2022

EOLPodcast

Ep. 357 The Hidden Grief of the Replacement Child with Jeremy Damec

kwyattmd

My guest Jeremy Damec has a master’s in Counseling Psychology and has worked with youth and families in San Francisco and in Mexico providing therapeutic services and developing community programs to support family and youth development. After his mother’s death from cancer in 2009 and following his own personal journey of grief, he began in 2015 working with families and their loved ones who are approaching the end of life. He has done volunteer chaplaincy training, end-of-life doula training, worked at a funeral home, and as a celebrant has officiated at both funerals and weddings. Today he shares his personal experience as a “replacement child” born after the death of his older brother. Learn more about Jeremy’s work at his website:

www.jeremydeathandgrief.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • What is a “replacement child”
  • Jeremy’s story of being introduced to grief before he was born
  • How a replacement child experiences grief
  • How a mother’s grief can influence her unborn child
  • How to process unspoken and hidden grief that has been present since before birth
  • How to find information about a loved one who died in the past
  • How being a replacement child has shaped and informed the work Jeremy does now

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially to my newest donors Erin Bishop, Carole Dempsey, and Sue Skeates! Also thank you to C. Schlumberg and Frances Pope Hewitt for making donations through Paypal. Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 356 What Keeps Me Up at Night (about Hospice and Palliative Care) with Ira Byock MD

kwyattmd

Dr. Ira Byock takes an honest and challenging look at worrisome issues within the hospice and palliative care field.

My guest today is Dr. Ira Byock who is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. He is the Founder and Chief Medical Officer for the Institute for Human Caring of Providence St. Joseph Health. He is a frequent guest on this podcast and the author of Dying Well, The Four Things that Matter Most, and The Best Care Possible. Today he shares some of the concerns he has about current issues in hospice and palliative care. Learn more about his books and his work at the website:

www.irabyock.org

Watch on YouTube

Read the transcript

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The history of hospice programs and how and why they began
  • For-profit hospices now outnumber non-profit hospices by nearly 3 to 1
  • Problems with for-profit hospices include poor staffing, patients are less likely to see a doctor or social worker, 10% fewer nursing visits
  • For-profits extract up to 20% margin from patient care and make it hard for non-profits to stay in business
  • Concerns about sending patients home for hospice care without providing training to family members
  • Staff are burning out because of moral distress and because of excessive case loads which are being imposed for the sake of profit
  • For-profit hospices are being traded on Wall Street and private equity firms are also buying up hospices
  • How a focus on marketing and “branding” is causing palliative care to distance itself from hospice and from death and dying
  • Why we have to be brave enough to talk about and deal with the things that people in our society are afraid of
  • Why the palliative care “brand” should be providing the best care possible through the end of life (instead of “at the end of life”)
  • What to do:
    • Don’t trust blindly – ask questions and be discerning
    • Don’t lose your outrage – speak up when you see poor care being given
    • Be strong advocates for one another
    • Support community-based non-profit hospices

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Pre-order All the Flowers of the Mountain by Christina Holbrook here (and thank you!)

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially to my newest donor Mary E. Moriarty! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 355 Irish Keening and Wakes: Traditional Mourning Rituals with Mary McLaughlin

kwyattmd

Learn about the history and importance of Irish mourning rituals.

My guest Mary McLaughlin is a singer/songwriter and teacher who studies and teaches workshops about Irish singing and technique and Gaelic song and culture. She has recorded five CD’s to international acclaim, written two song books and completed a PhD in Irish Otherworld Song. Today she teaches us about Irish wakes and the ancient funeral ritual of keening. Learn more at her website:

www.marymclaughlin.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • The ancient tombs found in Ireland and what we can learn from them
  • Many contemporary funeral traditions have been influenced by both Christian and Pagan customs
  • Wakes thrived during the Middle Ages in the early Celtic Church but were later forbidden
  • “Professional waking” used to take place in small Irish villages
  • The purpose of the wake is to help people cry and mourn, sometimes through laughter and games
  • Keeners had to be good singers and specially trained to provide this ritual for wakes
  • The benefits of having keeners be outsiders to help the family express emotion, move into their grief, and create a sense of awe
  • The keen would continue from the wake through to the burial ground
  • The three stages of ritual: separation, liminality, and re-incorporation
  • How the keen addresses the 5 stages described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • Pre-order All the Flowers of the Mountain by Christina Holbrook here (and thank you!)
  • Recommended Book: My Father’s Wake by Kevin Toolis
  • Sign up for Mary’s newsletter here

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially to my newest donor JoAna Dwyer! Also thank you to Mark Langlois for buying me a coffee (3, in fact)! Your contributions make all the difference.

EOLPodcast

Ep. 354 The Hospice Journey: A Step-by-Step Guide with Barbara Karnes RN

kwyattmd

Learn about the basics of hospice care, when to consider it, how to talk about it with others, and what to expect during the dying process.

My guest Barbara Karnes RN is an internationally recognized author, speaker, thought leader and expert on end of life care. She is the author of the “little blue hospice book” Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience, which has sold over 30 million copies worldwide in 12 different languages. Today Barbara shares her insights and stories about the hospice journey for patients and their families and walks us through each step of the process. Learn more about her work at her website:

www.bkbooks.com

Get her books here

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

  • When is it time to consider hospice
  • Why hospice care is a special type of medical care
  • How to find a good hospice
  • What it takes to care for a loved one at home
  • What hospice does and doesn’t provide for families
  • How to talk to a loved one about hospice
  • What to expect as death draws near
  • How hospice provides comfort and pain management

Links mentioned in this episode:

Buy me a coffee

Donate on Paypal

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes. Thanks again to all supporters on my page at Patreon.com/eolu, especially to Jan Wessel for increasing your pledge! Also thank you to Thilda Zorn for your Paypal donation and Bob Hoffman for buying me a coffee! Your contributions make all the difference.