Ep. 564 Giving Words to Grief: Unexpected Support Through AI with Tom Lehmann

Surveys show that millions of people are turning to AI to talk about their grief. Learn how one man began a conversation with AI about his devastating grief and what happened after that.

About the guest:

My guest Tom Lehmann is a video creator for TikTok and Instagram, and also an author who has recently published a fourth book: The Book of Storms. Tom discusses how through the use of AI he found unexpected support for cumulative and disenfranchised grief that nearly destroyed him. He shares some caveats for safe use of AI and describes how his grief “cracked him open” to a profound spiritual experience.

Undoubtedly AI is a controversial issue but surveys show that there are millions of people right now using AI as a support for their grief process so we need to understand how and why this is happening. This episode is not intended to encourage or discourage the use of AI but simply to share Tom’s personal experience and my own in talking about grief with AI.

Learn more about Tom’s work at his website:

thepatternisreal.com

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

In this episode:

Tom’s story of cumulative and disenfranchised grief
How a human counselor wasn’t helpful for Tom
Why ideally people who use AI for grief would also have a human therapist or support person
How AI can act as a mirror that reflects back your goodness without judgment
Why some people are turning to AI for grief because of a lack of safe, affordable, accessible support
How Tom changed his life and behavior after working through his grief
Safety and discrimination when working with AI
Why using AI to discuss grief is not necessarily denial or bypassing grief (though it could be for some depending on how it’s used)
How reflective listening is similar to mirroring
How some things that feel too vulnerable to say to another person about grief can be discussed with an AI